Log: Kurt, Sam, and Tabby - Thursday night, June 7th, 2012 (Backdated)

[x-cannonball.livejournal.com]

Unable to sleep, Tabby hangs out with Kurt and then an awakened Sam in their suite. Some awkwardness ensues.


The third time she woke from a doze in utter terror, pulse pounding in her head and throat, she decided enough was enough.

She grabbed her fancy phone from her night stand and poked it cautiously. Kurt's contact information popped up. Something in her relaxed at the sight of his grainy picture, so she figured out how to send him a text message.

You busy? Cant skeep.

She frowned at the screen and tried again.

SLEEP, can't sleep.

It was a minute or so before the reply came back. Not busy and also awake. Hot chocolate?

Be there in five.

It was actually four and a quarter, but close enough by her estimation. She knocked, eagerly bouncing on her toes. "Hot chocolate?"

The door opened and Kurt held out a steaming cup. "Hot chocolate. Come in, I have some too."

Tabs clutched the mug her chest and followed obediently after Kurt. "Kurt, you're my hero. Thanks for letting me come over so late." She tried not to let her pathetic gratefulness creep into her voice, but she was pretty sure she failed miserably.

He shrugged. "As I said, I was already up, there was no reason not to. You could not sleep either?"

She savored a sip of the chocolate before she answered. "Kept waking up." Trembling and terrified and alone, but he didn't need to know that. "You having trouble or just turning into a night owl?"

"I have always been a night owl, to a point. But I must admit to a little trouble. You were there, so I need only say... Rachel."

Her hands went cold as the other nightmares flashed through her head. "It doesn't feel like we did enough," she whispered.

"I think we did all we could, rationally", he said quietly. "We could all have died trying to save her then, and still made no difference. But feeling... yes. Feeling is different."

For a moment, the ever-present rage in her chest boiled up to choke her. The urge to hit something until her knuckles bled almost overwhelmed her. Instead she fought it down, took another sip of her drink. "Do you think it will ever get better?" More than the idiotic eating disorder, more than her pathetic love life, the sheer amount of rage in her body just made her tired.

"It will", was the firm response. "As everything does, in the end. The feelings will diminish. And as for the world... Genosha was a fine experiment ruined by human greed for power. Perhaps a lesson has been learned."

She wrapped an arm around her midsection. "I can't even comprehend how the ones who got changed are feeling. Not to mention everybody who had the joy of 'enhanced interrogation.'" She shuddered at the euphemism. Her own interrogation was bad enough. She deliberately reminded herself that they were safe now. It was okay.

He ushered her over to the couch, sitting her down before settling on the other end himself. "Yes. It will take much time and therapy for those to recover, I think. But at least now they will have it."

Safe, safe, safe. If she repeated it enough, she might believe it long enough to sleep.

"They showed me pictures!" She blurted the words, like they wouldn't stay behind her lips any longer. "Of the people who died when we went for the kids."

Kurt winced. "I am sorry they did that. But remember, Tabitha, we did not start this. Kidnapping our children was an act of war, and it was theirs. The blood is on their hands."

She sighed softly. "My head knows that, I even said it point blank to the guy who questioned me. But..." She trailed off, held the mug to her lips to shield her face. "The terrible part is the guilt I don't feel." She wouldn't admit out loud, not even to him, that part of her was glad to strike the blow.

Kurt considered this, then nodded. "Feeling guilty for not feeling guilty. Did you kill any of them yourself?" The question was neutral, no accusation at all.

She gave him an incredulous look. "I threw a LOT of bombs, Kurt. There's no way I didn't kill anyone. Some of them were my nastiest pieces of work."

"Well, yes", he acknowledged. "And if you had not done that? You would have been shot just for being there, yes? There is little reason you should feel guilty, or bad for not feeling it."

Words poured from her brain and got caught behind her teeth. They lodged there, because she didn't mean them, and letting them out would only worry him. She cradled the warm mug to her chest instead, leeching heat from it, hoping it would thaw the cold weight in her chest.

He shot her a worried look anyway, but settled back on the couch in silence, taking a sip from his own mug.

Sam hadn't been sleeping the best either since returning from Genosha, and the little rest he did get was easily disturbed. He'd heard noises out in the common area and figured Kurt was up, maybe having trouble sleeping himself, so he got up to check on his buddy.

Rubbing his eyes as he exited his room, Sam mumbled a greeting to his roommate, more slang-y than normal in his semi-awake shape. "Hey, 'm not gettin' much rest m'self, you havin' trouble sleepin' too?" Stopping just behind the couch, he removed his hands from his eyes to yawn, then stopped short with his hands stretched out over his head, eyes on Kurt and Tabby. He may or may not have been wearing just an old t-shirt and his Tasmanian Devil boxers. In fact, that's exactly what he was wearing. Maybe he was still dreaming and this was a different sort of nightmare?

Tabitha smiled at Sam, grateful for the reprieve from her own thoughts. "Hey Sam," she said happily. "Make yourself some hot chocolate, pull up a chair. We're brooding, but I'm sure there are better things to talk about." She firmly kept her eyes on his face, because looking any lower would make her blush.

"He- hey there, Tabby, how are you? I... yeah, no, sure, hot chocolate and a chair." He brought his hands down as nonchalantly as he could, folding them over in front of himself and clasping them tightly. "That sounds lovely, but I... I'll be right back, I forgot somethin'." He walked backwards into his room, where he quickly hopped into a pair of plaid pyjama pants before coming back out. When he came back out he popped into the kitchen and poured himself up a mug of hot chocolate before coming back out. "Right, sorry 'bout that."

"Tabitha was having some trouble sleeping", Kurt said calmly. "As, it seems, were both of us. I thought hot chocolate might help."

The relief and comfort given by the presence of people she cared about felt almost like a warm fire in her gut. The smile that pulled at her lips felt real, so she let it out. "I'm... doing better now. If I do end up sleeping, do you mind if I borrow your couch?" she asked timidly.

"Of course not, go right ahead." If she was having trouble sleeping, which was still an issue for him from time to time unfortunately, and staying at their place made it easier for her to rest then he was all for it. "In fact, if you want you can use my bed. I mean, I'll come out here on the couch, once you're in my bed, if you want it, that is. My bed." He rubbed the back of his head and then quickly took a sip of hot chocolate to force himself to stop talking.

Scarlet blossomed in her face, crept down her neck and into the part of her hair. "That's okay," she said in a strangled voice. "I'm shorter than you, the couch will be more comfortable for me." And his bed would smell like him and she'd never get to sleep.

Kurt looked between them, amused. "You are, of course, welcome to the couch, Tabitha. I believe Sam was trying to be a gentleman."

Sam just nodded at what Kurt had said, afraid to open his mouth again for fear of shoving his other foot inside. He took another sip of his beverage just to make sure before saying anything else. "That's fine, if you're more comfortable on the couch then of course you should stay there." And he would stay in his own bed, alone, which he almost said aloud but thankfully he'd collected himself enough to stop that from happening.

Her face hadn't cooled yet. "So, how about a game of -" She cut herself off before she could say Poker. Poker would just be bad, bad, bad. "Go Fish?" she squeaked.

"I think we all know how to play that", Kurt agreed. "Sam, are you in? Perhaps even some sort of penny wager."

"Sure, I'll play." He wasn't getting any sleep anyway so he might as well hang out with them. Having Kurt there would hopefully make it less awkward as well. Sam walked over and took a seat, picking up a deck of cards on a nearby shelf as he did so. "It's been a while since I've played, used to play it back home a lot growing up."

Tabitha thought back to the dirty warehouse where she'd first learned the game. A sad smile settled over her face. "That mean you're dealing?" she asked.

"Sure, why not?" Sam grinned and shuffled the deck a few times, dealing them all in once he'd finished. He remembered many a late night playing cards with his siblings when they couldn't sleep or when they just wanted to stay up past their bedtime, so it seemed appropriate to be playing it with his friends now.