EDITED: Two logs.

[x-coldhands.livejournal.com]

After a thoughtless anti-mutant comment by his mother, Bobby returns to the school determined to profess his love to one of 'those people', specifically Alison. It...could have gone better. Thursday afternoon.


Bobby walks down the hallway to the suite that Alison and Lorna are once again sharing, hesitating right at the door and nearly turning away again, chickening out. But no, he can do this. Sam is no longer an issue, and after his mother's words at dinner the other night, he's determined to do this. He's found a nice girl, thank you very much. Now to just...let her know. He raps sharply on the door. "Al?"

"Inside!" a voice calls out merrily, the opening of the door revealing a few suitcases strewn on the floor and her guitar case propped up against the far wall. A few blouses fly through the air to land in the suitcase haphazardly, Alison crossing the threshold of her room to stride towards them, picking them and folding them neatly in a few economical gestures before laying them down again. "Leaving for a road trip with some of the kids this weekend, after our other lot comes back from London!" she beams at him, before flipping the suitcase shut.

Bobby nods, leaning against the wall and watching her for a few moments. "Hey. Can we talk?"

"Course we can," she rplies firmly, leaning one knee firmly against the case and flipping
the latches shut expertly. Stanging up and surveying her work with satisfaction, she leans down to re-open it. "I just wanted to make sure I knew how to pack still, mostly." Nudging the case aside, she smiles. "You ok? Sounds like the trip home was a bit hard on you..."

Bobby heaves a sigh, pushing off of the wall and taking a few setps toward her. "Yeah...wasn't all I'd hoped it'd be, that's for sure. It did make me realise a few things, though." He glances at her, shoving his rapidly cooling hands into his pockets. "Can we...sit down somewhere, or something?"

"Sure." She waves towards the couch at the end of the common room, eyes darkening a bit as she remembers only too well now, kissing Sam in that same spot what seems like so long ago. But that's over and done with now, and she still has a friend out of it... so she shouldn't complain. "Let's have a seat..."

Nodding, he crosses to the couch, sinking onto it with another small sigh as he looks at her. God, she's beautiful...I can't do this. Yes, I can. No...fuck. He pulls his hands out of his pockets, lacing his fingers together and letting them rest between his legs, staring down at them. "So." How to say this?

She joins him on the couch silently, curling one leg underneath her to sit sideways, facing
him. "Is everything ok?" she asks softly, head tilting to the side, brow creasing in worry.

Bobby looks up at her, scooting a bit closer. "Al...you're one of my best friends. I don't
know how I would have made it through the last few months, without you." He reaches an ice-cold hand out, taking hers loosely.

She smiles at that, unable to help the reaction. Hoping he's ready to take that step forward, finally stop hiding from everyone. Maybe join back the team on active duty soon, work on his power and control more intensively?

He returns the smile nervously, his eyes darting across her face, trying to figure out if she's caught on yet. "What I'm trying to say is...Alison....I..." Oh, what the hell? He leans in, eyes drifting closed, and presses cold, trembling lips to hers.

Alison stops breathing at he moves closer, not believe he might actually - oh but he is,
and as his cool lips touch hers, her eyes widen helplessly. She doesn't move, doesn't breathe, heart breaking at the realization of what she hasn't seen all this time. And what she'll have to do next.

Okay, she isn't kissing back, and that's a bad sign...and when he pulls back, the look on her face is an even worse one, but, well...in for a penny, and all. "I love you, Alison," he whispers, looking into her wide, shocked eyes.

"Oh Bobby," she murmurs, tears welling in her eyes, knowing her expression will tell him everythign he needs, wishing things were otherwise. And her hand tightens around his for a moment as she lets the silent apology show through.

He nods, closing his eyes against that look, seeing pity there, whether real or imagined.
"Yeah. I figured as much," he whispers, opening his eyes to stare at the floor. "No biggie." He takes a moment to try to pull his shattered heart together before looking at her again, with a wavering smile.

"Yes, it is. But you're my friend Bobby. And I don't want to lose that, God..." she
opens her hands, palms up - offering a hug but not imposing, understanding if that's too much for him right now. "You mean a lot to me, sweetie. Never forget that."

"Yeah, I know. Still friends." He nods, the smile brightening, as he forces it wider. "Hey, it was worth a shot, right?" Inject all the cheerfulness you can muster into that sentence, Drake. She'll SO not buy it, anyway.

"Stop... please. Don't pretend." She reaches out, holding his hand lightly. "Please? You
deserve better than that, Bobby."

But that's the only way Bobby knows how to deal with a situation like this. "No, really, I'm fine, Al." He stands up, pulling his still-cold hand from hers. "Anyway, I should let you get back to your packing. Didn't mean to interrupt, or anything..." He backs toward the door, that same 'I'm okay' smile plastered on his face.

She can't apologize, can't. And so she smiles back at him sadly, nodding, trying to keep from crying until he's out the room and out of sight. "Okay..."

"So, um...have fun on your trip,and...tell me all about it when you get back. Can't wait to
hear..." Bobby fishes behind him for the doorknob, the smile starting to make his face ache from the effort of keeping it in place. He finally grips the knob and turns it. "See you!" he calls, overly brightly, before slipping out the door.


Later, Doug finds Bobby wallowing and tries his best to give a pep talk on a subject he's painfully familiar with.


Bobby had returned to his room after leaving Alison's, changing into sweats before digging a pint of Haagen Dazs out of the kitchen fridge, tucked away behind some questionably old fish sticks. His own stuff was better, of course, but...he just didn't feel like making the effort. So he headed up to the rec room and curled up in a corner of the couch, turning on some obnoxious game show to drown out the need to think or feel, mindlessly spooning ice cream into his mouth.

Doug, for his part, wandered into the rec room hoping to find the video game systems free. Upon seeing Bobby and the game show, he thought momentarily about quietly leaving, given that he was still just a touch embarassed to be around Bobby since the potion. But the tightly leashed pain and anguish rolling off of the other mutant drew him inexorably to flop in a chair. "Heya, Mr. Freeze," Doug kept his tone casual.

Bobby looked up, automatically forcing a bright smile. "Hey Doug." Then he remembered that there was no point and let it fade some, going for the distraction route instead. "If there's something you want to watch, feel free to change it," he says, gesturing toward the screen with his spoon, freezing a drop of melted ice cream just as it was about to fall to the floor. He digs into the pint again, taking a large bite.

Doug shrugged. "Game show reruns are as good as anything when you're bored," he replied, and swung his legs up over the arm of the large overstuffed chair, lounging gracelessly. He smiled wryly. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Nope," Bobby replied matter-of-factly. After a few moments' contemplation of his ice cream, however, he relented with a small sigh. "Love sucks."

Doug let out a bark of laughter, full of self-mockery. "Doesn't it." He folded his hands behind his head and looked over at Bobby. "I'm not gonna push, but it usually helps me to talk it out."

Bobby sat forward, putting the ice cream on the coffee table, before slouching into the couch, his eyes on Doug. "I told...someone, that I loved them." He was embarrassed to admit precisely who, for the risk of looking like just another celebrity fanboy. "Needless to say, two plus two did NOT equal six."

Doug blinked at the reference to the "math" joke that Lorna had been teasing him with over Marie-Ange recently. ~Probably not Lorna...~ he thought to himself. He watched Bobby carefully. "Alison?" he asked quietly.

Bobby stiffened, as much as answering Doug's question. "Yeah," he admitted softly, staring down at his hands. "It wasn't just some silly crush on a rockstar, though." He gave Doug a sad smile. "I really love her. I should have known there was no chance, though."

Doug smiled reassuringly. "I never said it was, Bobby. You're a good person. Besides, I can see it in your body language now that we're talking about her. And you couldn't have known for sure until you told her."

"Yeah, so now what do I do?" He shook his head, feeling adrift. "I don't want to lose her friendship, but now that she knows...everything is gonna be different."

Doug opened his mouth, then closed it for a moment and blinked. Then, he smiled and chuckled dryly. "Jamie's been trying to hammer this into me for months, and now here I am about to give you the same advice. Pot and kettle much, Ramsey?" he said rhetorically to himself.

That at least brought a small smile to Bobby's face. He scooped up his ice cream again (no pun intended), refreezing the melted edges before digging up another spoonful. "So what's the advice, then?" he asked just before popping the spoon in his mouth.

Doug flipped his feet down off the arm of the chair and looked seriously at Bobby. "Jamie tried to convince me of this after I made a fool of myself over Paige, and then again after telling Marie how I felt. And the hard thing to understand from where you are right now, but trust me that it's true...friendship isn't second place. Especially not with someone as amazing as her." For a moment, Doug let his tight leash on his feelings go, and let Bobby see that maybe he wasn't the only one who idly wished for something more than friendship from Alison, now that he knew her as a person and not a rock star.

Bobby stared at Doug for a long moment, then nodded. "Yeah, Al's amazing, all right," he whispered. "I don't know how I would have made it through the past few months without her." Which is why the possibility of a future filled with awkward silences, looks of pity, or anything like that breaks his heart so completely. "Maybe Em was right, though...maybe I shouldn't have told her." He rolled his eyes. "And maybe it's too late for maybe, huh?"

"Definitely too late for maybe, Frosty. Not that I am much better on that score myself." Doug chuckled dryly. "I don't know how I would have made it through the past month without Ali, myself." He sobered. "And Em may be right or may be wrong, who knows. What's important is that you can't let this eat you up. Alison cares for you, I know it. Maybe things will be a little different, but she won't stop being your friend. And she wouldn't want you to feel so bad about it, I think."

"Yeah, I know. You're right, it's all true, but..." Bobby shrugged, dropping the spoon into the near-empty ice cream container, suddenly not hungry as a wave of repressed pain fought its way free. "But that doesn't make it any easier," he finished in a whisper, staring into the container as if he hoped to find all the answers he needed written in the mocha almond fudge still inside.

Doug slid over onto the couch to sit next to Bobby, and tentatively put a supportive hand on his shoulder. "No. It doesn't. I speak from personal experience. Em..." He shook his head. "She's been so patient with me and my neuroses ever since. I think Alison's the same sort of person."

"I don't want her to have to be patient, though." He just wants the hollow pain in his chest to go away, please. "But yeah, she probably is..." He took a breath, trying to push his misery aside again. "Anyway, I'll survive. What about you? Sounds like sir Doug has been doing much better in math than I have..."

Doug blushed slightly. "Maybe. I have a date. Other than that, I have no idea what might be going on. Not to mention I've never been on a date before, so I'm nervous about that too. Don't want to screw up."

"Oh, don't worry, you will," Bobby assured him cheerfully. "And you'll be horribly embarrassed, and she'll find it incredibly cute, and it'll all work out in the end."

Doug breathed out a ragged breath. "God, I hope so. I'm really nervous. I'm scared. I'll probably want to throw up on Monday, or whenever we have our date."

"You'll be fine," Bobby said, knowing the feeling. "And even if you're not, girls are used to us making idiots of themselves. Some of them seem to enjoy it, even. Just remember that."

Doug nodded. "I'll try. If you'll try and relax about Alison, and believe that friendship isn't second prize." With that, he leaned back and quietly continued watching the television, trying to simply comfort Bobby a bit with his quiet presence.

"Deal." Bobby flipped a few channels as he turned back to the TV as well, stopping on Cartoon Network and preparing to do some more notthinking, for now.

Comments

[x-rahne.livejournal.com]

"Maybe Em was right, though...maybe I shouldn't have told her."

Oh, now I'm confused. I thought she kept telling Doug that it was best to declare your feelings without regard to embarrassment or whether anybody has any business acting on them, or at least better than keeping them bottled up.

*is muddled*

[x-rogue.livejournal.com]

No, she did tell Bobby that it might be best to keep those romantic feelings under his hat. Yes, she's definitely one to say 'go ahead and say' but she was also taking into account the fact that (a) Bobby specifically said at the time that it was a crush and the friendship was most important, and (b) Alison was involved with someone else. It was based on his phrasing and the circumstances and the fact that she really, really didn't want to see Bobby get hurt unless it would hurt him more not to say. Make any sense?

[x-rahne.livejournal.com]

And (a) didn't exactly apply to Doug and Marie, even though of course (b) did. Gotcha.

[x-rahne.livejournal.com]

Oh, wait, (b) didn't quite yet at first either. I forgot. Never mind me.

[x-rogue.livejournal.com]

Hee. It means you've been paying some attention, how can I complain? :)