xp_logs | Sooraya and Maddie: backdated to yesterday

Sooraya and Maddie talk about what happened on Genosha.

Splash!

Mud sprayed Maddie's bare legs as she ran directly into the puddle before her, adding another layer to her already browned legs. Though the sky was clear, the ground was still wet from the storm the night before, a fact clearly exploited by the young girl as she continued to seek out puddles to run through. As another high energy song began on her iPod, Maddie cranked up the volume and drowned out the world around her.

There was something about being on horseback that almost instinctively made Sooraya feel a lot more tranquil inside. Only the moving animal and how she moved in conjunction with it existed. So after yet another restless night, she had chosen Hana and gone out for a long ride across the grounds. Water splashed here and there as she nudged Hana into a trot, moving rhythmically with the up and down motion of the pace. Only she and Hana existed...

Suddenly a small flash of red hair and pale skin appeared in the corner of Sooraya's eyes and she quickly signaled Hana to stop. "Ho Hana." The horse slowed to a walk and Sooraya quickly signaled her to turn around.

Lost in the music and the rhythmic sound of her feet hitting the ground, Maddie hadn't heard the approaching hoof beats. She didn't realize she was not alone until she turned her gaze from the ground just a few feet from the horse and its rider.

"Holy shit," she called out, her voice too loud from the music. "Sooraya. I didn't see you."

A sigh escaped from Sooraya as she looked over the young redhead from a distance to make sure no accidents had occurred. "Are you okay, Maddie?" Then she spotted the headphones in Maddie's ears and mimed removing them.

"What," the redhead continued to yell as she pulled the earphones from her ears. Music could be clearly heard streaming out of them even as they hung uselessly over her shoulders. There was a slight buzzing in her ears, and Maddie dug her finger around in her ear to try and make it go away. "Sorry. I was listening to music."

Sooraya lifted her leg and quickly slid to the ground, careful to miss the puddle nearby. "I was asking if you were okay, Maddie. That was quite a close call..." She grabbed one of the reins, making sure Hana didn't decide to get feisty and go exploring on her own.

Maddie smiled sheepishly and concentrated on fiddling with the screen of her iPod to pause the music. "Yeah. No. I'm fine I was just," she waved her hand, eyes still cast down. "You know. Running."

"I am glad to see you are unhurt." Sooraya replied. "I haven't seen you around much lately. I hope you have had some chance to ride though also. The weather has been too lovely not too since we got back." Sooraya carefully stuck to generalities, not really having spoken to Maddie since that evening on the roof of the broadcasting station.

As Sooraya talked, Maddie grabbed her ankle and began stretching. The horse, on the other hand, apparently had other ideas and began nudging the redhead until she pat its head. "Yeah. I have no food," she explained to the horse before turning her attention back to its rider. "I've been running, mostly. Sort of avoiding the weirdness. And you were at Muir for awhile. How are you doing?" Her tone softened. "I mean, you were really close to her, weren't you?"

Sooraya pulled a piece of carrot from her pocket and let Hana lip it off her hand. At Maddie's question she sighed a bit and looked around. Spotting a nearby bench, she gestured for a moment. "Why don't we sit down for a bit? The ground is far too wet to sit on." She quickly tied the reins to a handy nearby branch and took a seat.

Then she looked at Maddie. "It differs from day to day, Maddie. I am grieving. I loved her very much and her family as well. But I will be okay though in time." Sooraya paused for a moment, before returning the question to the young red head. "How have you been otherwise? You said you have been on your own much?"

"Yeah." Maddie shrugged and continued to stroke the horse's muzzle, matching its snorts one for one with her own. "Well I spent some time with Doug to make sure he wasn't totally kookoo for cocoa puffs. Been playing Civ 5 with my dad some, when we get the chance (I'm totally kicking his butt as the Queen of Maddieland), just sort of doing whatever. Basically giving people time to heal, since, you know, I got out of the whole thing pretty unscathed. It was a major suckfest, and it pisses me off to no end, but nothing really awful happened to me. So...," another shrug, "you know."

A thoughtful nod was Sooraya's only reply at first. Finally decided directness might be the best policy. "I would not say nothing awful happened to you. I can imagine staring in the barrel of a gun or being held by a Magistrate was pretty awful..." She paused for a beat before adding: "I know that evening has figured in my nightmares many times."

It felt to Maddie that all she was doing in this conversation was shrugging and sighing. It just wasn't something she felt like talking about. It had happened and it was over. She felt no reason to dwell on it, which was why she had been staying away from all of it. She had no feelings on the subject, not that she knew of at least. "You know it was fuckin' scary as shit, I'm not going to lie," Maddie replied, almost flippantly. "I thought I was going to die, but I didn't. No sense living in the past."

"I would have been very scared as well, I think. I was very scared there on that roof." Sooraya paused again, before continuing her being direct policy. "I personally have often wondered since that night if there was also something else that scared you..." Her throat blocked kinda suddenly though and her voice died away.

"'Raya?" The girl beside her reached out tentatively, and lay a hand on the Afghan girl's shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"I am sorry, Maddie..." A shaky smile flashed over Sooraya's face for a few moments. With a deep breath, she managed to continue. "I have spent a lot of time wondering if I maybe scared you..."

"Oh my g-d Sooraya." Maddie jumped onto the bench so she was crouching beside her friend. Her pale hands grasped Sooraya's as their eyes met, and the young redhead stared at her, unblinking. "Sooraya, you saved my life. You were so incredibly brave. I mean, I owe you my life. There aren't enough cookies in the world to even begin to repay what you did for me."

"I only did what each of us would have done. I couldn't let them hurt you." Sooraya shook her head and then met Maddie's eyes again. "I killed a man right in front of you, Maddie... I scared myself... You can't tell me..." Sooraya's voice choked again and she hurriedly whipped at her eyes.

"Oh 'Raya." The younger girl shook her head sadly. She hadn't thought how Sooraya may have been affected by the fight on the roof, but she was an X-Man and they were trained to handle situations like this, weren't they? The Afghan girl hadn't meant to kill the man, hadn't wanted to, Maddie knew, but sometimes the situation spirals out of your control and things happen. All Sooraya had done was try and save Maddie's life, but for the life of her, the telepath had no idea what to say to make the situation better.

"You. Saved. My. Life." Maddie repeated as she clutched the other girl's hands tighter. "You were defending me. You acted to prevent him from intentionally taking my life. You were doing good, but sometimes bad things happen. Maybe it had been planned from the beginning of time that he would die then, or some cosmic force was balancing out the good and evil, or whatever. You were brave, Sooraya. I admire what you did."

Sooraya met her eyes hesitantly, her eyes gleaming with tears. "That is still a little hard for me to believe..." She managed to get out before her voice choked again, this time by a restrained sob. She attempted to shuttle most of her feelings away, so she would not have to burden her young friend, but she had been pushing things away for too long and another restrained sob made it out.

"No no no no no." Pale arms encircled Sooraya, holding her tightly as the girl continued to cry. Maddie hadn't meant for this to happen; she owed her friend a debt she could never repay. She knew the peaceful, quiet Afghan girl had probably been at least a little shocked at her abilities, but even Islam said that killing in self-defense or in defense of another was not a bad thing, right? But holding her friend, and feeling her body shake as the tears slowly streamed over her face, Maddie could hear the jumble of thoughts and memories swirling in Sooraya's mind. They were so jumbled, so numerous, that all the telepath could sense was the ghost of a thought after it had already gone away, leaving her with a brief whisper of guilt, fear, blame. But there was one louder, stronger than the others that permeated into her mind; a memory of a man's arm, it's bone showing, as Sooraya had scrubbed away the layers of skin and muscle to keep the man from hurting Leyu.

"Oh Sooraya," the redhead whispered. Her hand reached up and began to caress the girl's cheek, wiping away the trickle of tears with her thumb. "Sooraya. You're not evil. You are a good, brave, strong woman. You saved me, and Leyu with what you did for us. You have to stop beating yourself up, honey."

"What?" Sooraya looked up a little, confusing visible under the tears. She whipped at her eyes and suddenly the puzzle pieces about Maddie mentioning Leyu's name clicked into place. "Not again..." She muttered softly, another bout of guilt surging through her. "I am sorry, Maddie... I didn't intend for you to see that... Or to cry on you..." With a deep breath, Sooraya harshly shoved the memories away... Her emotions were also settling down somewhat, as if the pressure had been let of the kettle by the tears she had shed.

"Hey," Maddie replied gently, wiping away one of the tears that were still trying to form in the other girl's eyes. "Don't apologize. Not for crying or for the memories. I didn't scan you, I promise, they were just loud thoughts. You need to go to the professor, and ask about talking to one of those people he brought in right after we got back." She offered a sad smile and squeezed Sooraya's shoulders. "This isn't just going to go away, sweetie. You've been through way more than anyone your age should ever have had to experience. But you can't just lock everything away and pretend it's fine." Maddie thought briefly of Doug, then shook the thought away.

"You need help. Promise me you will get some."

She knew the girl was sincere... She knew Maddie was right... But she could not... Not with while she still carried that burden. "I will go to talk to someone soon, Maddie... I promise... I just need to think about a few things a little more." She tried to smile encouragingly.

"No." The reply was firm, but still gentle. "Not soon. And if you keep thinking you will end up thinking worse. I will give you a few days before I start hounding you repeatedly and eventually drag you myself. For your own good. And you know I will."

"I will talk to someone, Maddie. I promise." Sooraya said again, this time a little firmer. "And with soon I mean very soon. And I promise you can drag me if I don't..."

This seemed like a suitable agreement. Maddie nodded her acceptance firmly and said, "Good. I'm glad. Now are you just starting or do you want to head back to the mansion and see if we can bother Lorna into showing us how to make some sort of delicious foodstuffs?"

"We can go back and look for Lorna. I had been riding for a while. First I need to care for Hana though. You want to give me a hand?" Sooraya stood up and untied the horse that had been waiting patiently all the time.

"Sure!" Maddie jumped up and waited for the horse and its rider. "But I'm not shoveling poop again. You get to do that part."