Angelo and Sooraya (backdated)
Jul. 12th, 2012 02:00 pmAngelo visits his little sister as soon as he is allowed.
After Jean had left after another quick check up, Sooraya had attempted to lay down and get some more rest... Sleep was not very forthcoming though and she could do little else then stare at the ceiling or walls. And think...
Looking back now she could see what she'd done was not the smartest thing. So she just lay there silently, contemplating what she should do now. She didn't attempt to restrain the occasional tear that made it's way down her cheeks.
The door opened quietly after a while and Angelo slipped into the room. He stopped midway between door and bed, just looking at her for a long moment.
"What've you been doing to yourself, little sister?"
She had been laying with her back to the door and turned over when she heard Angelo's voice. "Angelo?" With a quick movement she wiped away another tear that had appeared and she leaned up on one arm. "Being not very smart?" She attempted a feeble joke.
"So I hear." He crossed the rest of the distance to stand next to her, studying her drawn appearance. "I should've noticed you weren't doing so good."
"We have all had a lot on our minds..." Sooraya paused for a moment, lowering her eyes. "Please big brother, don't blame yourself. This was my own mistake. Not yours..."
"We're supposed to look out for each other, that's how it works", he said quietly. "But okay. I'm just gonna have to make up for it now."
"No blaming yourself... no making up..." Sooraya repeated, her eyes still lowered. "But I cannot do it alone, Angelo..." She admitted quietly. "I think I need a little help. I don't know how or what..."
"I'll be here when you figure it out", he promised instantly. "And before that, too, it's time somebody took care of you for once."
Her first instinct was to protest she could take care of herself just fine, but that was not really true, was it... At least not at the moment... So instead Sooraya raised her eyes and gave him a little smile. "Thank you." She said simply. "Though it feels a little strange... the idea of being taken care of..."
"Well, you're just going to have to get used to it", Angelo said firmly. "How'd you feel about moving into my place for a while when they let you out, so I can keep an eye on you?"
"Uhm... uhm..." Sooraya flushed a bright red, having no idea what to say. "I am supposed to talk to the professor..." was finally all she managed to get out.
"...oh right, small apartment, two guys, the whole modesty issue", he realized. "Well, with my mom, then. She'd feed you up good, and no men there. I think."
"Angelo, I cannot impose on your mother. She has her own things to do." Sooraya protested. "But I can come over for a few afternoons or evenings to your apartment if you'd want?" She suggested shyly, normally not the type to invite herself over. "Then I am still around?"
"She likes looking after people", he countered, but nodded. "However you're comfortable with it. But I might call you a few times a day to make sure you ate."
"I would enjoy coming over to your place, Angelo. I like spending time there, with you and the others. I can even join you for dinner if you want." Sooraya repeated her suggestion, still a little shyly. "And you can call if you want."
"Okay, then, it's settled", he said with a smile. "You'll come to mine and any mealtimes you're not there for, I get to call to remind you."
Sooraya gave him a real smile this time. "It's a deal." Suddenly she sobered a little and her eyes lowered again. "Can I ask you something?"
"Of course." He tilted his head in a little concern at the sudden change in her mood. "Anything."
"With the professor... Have you..." Sooraya was not quite sure how to formulate her concerns. "It's a little... scary..." She finally admitted honestly. And embarrassing, but she didn't say that out loud.
"Have I had the tea and chats with him?" Angelo guessed. "Yeah, more than once. After Tel Aviv, and there were... other times. It's really nothing to be scared of, he only wants us all to be okay."
"I know it's not supposed to be..." Sooraya shifted a little, leaning back against the pillows. "It's just... Itfeelsstupid..."
Angelo eyed her. "What, because it's just from running yourself into the ground, not some massive trauma? It's... well, okay, it was stupid to do it, but you didn't just make a completely rational decision to stop eating and sleeping."
"It just felt wrong..." Sooraya repeated what she had in her conversation with Dr. Grey. "It was not that bad for me, Angelo... Certainly if you look at Yvette... the others... And yet I am here..."
"Yvette's been spending half her time in the woods because she doesn't trust herself around people", he pointed out gently. "Besides, it's not about what happened to them. You shouldn't compare experiences, what happened to you matters because it happened to you."
"I try not too, but you know what I mean, Angelo... I take care of people, not being taken care of... It feels like I failed or something..."
"Listen to me now." He leaned forward, eyes intent and very serious. "You did not fail. Even the most dedicated person needs to let themselves be taken care of once in a while, or they'll... well, they'll break."
She just nodded, taking in the words, but not really believing them. "I am sorry... My head feels all messy... I don't know..." Sooraya furiously wiped away a few more tears.
"That's why you have to go and see the Professor", he said patiently. "He'll help you sort it all out, and maybe recommend someone else for you to talk to. Did you talk to anyone about what happened on the roof?"
"Dr. Grey, Angel and Yvette know what happened... And I asked Maddie if she was scared of me now... But not much..." Sooraya paused for a moment. "The roof... And Rachel... I just tried to push it away..."
"You can't do that, 'manita", Angelo told her softly. "It'll work for awhile, but what you try to push away is still there, and it just gets bigger and stronger the more you try to ignore it. Bring it out in the light."
"And not throw cheese at people..." Sooraya muttered softly to herself. "I don't think I have much of a choice now... I want to heal, Angelo... And do my part in making sure that no one ever has to suffer that again."
"That's the spirit." He raised an amused eyebrow at her. "Cheese? Really?"
She had to blush a little. "Kyle was teasing me last week... I kinda overreacted and threw cheese at him... He told me I needed to talk to someone since that was not like me..."
"Yeah, you're not the one I'd expect to be throwing stuff", he agreed. "But at least it was only cheese, huh?"
"It's what I grabbed at the time. Making lasagna in the kitchen... It was kinda stupid of me... " Sooraya's blush deepened a little...
"You need to stop saying that", he told her firmly. "Just because you do something without thinking, or you're trying to work yourself into not thinking about something else which is what brought us here, it doesn't make you stupid."
"Not eating, sleeping and throwing cheese at people are stupid things to do, Angelo." Sooraya countered. "And now I am confusing myself. I don't want to..."
"No, they're irrational things to do but excusable when you've just come out of a pretty traumatic time", he insisted. "And I think maybe we can blame the cheese throwing on the not sleeping, too."
"They were still stupid." Sooraya remained with her opinion stubbornly.
"I'm going to get you out of this habit of putting yourself down", he declared abruptly. "Haven't decided how yet, but I'm going to. Raise your head high, Sooraya, you deserve it."
"I think you're gonna have to save that for later..." Sooraya replied honestly. "I can't really do that or believe that at the moment."
"I can wait. And I can be very persistent."
Sooraya gave him another of her small smiles. "Thank you, big bro..." A cracking yawn escaping stopped her voice.
"You're welcome." He reached over to stroke her hair briefly. "Now go to sleep before Scary Doc throws me out. You need it."
She slid down, nestling herself under the sheets and trying to get comfortable. "I'll try... Could you... Could you stay for a few moments?"
"I'll be right here", he promised. "'cept for eating and sleeping time, I'll be right here as long as you want."
After Jean had left after another quick check up, Sooraya had attempted to lay down and get some more rest... Sleep was not very forthcoming though and she could do little else then stare at the ceiling or walls. And think...
Looking back now she could see what she'd done was not the smartest thing. So she just lay there silently, contemplating what she should do now. She didn't attempt to restrain the occasional tear that made it's way down her cheeks.
The door opened quietly after a while and Angelo slipped into the room. He stopped midway between door and bed, just looking at her for a long moment.
"What've you been doing to yourself, little sister?"
She had been laying with her back to the door and turned over when she heard Angelo's voice. "Angelo?" With a quick movement she wiped away another tear that had appeared and she leaned up on one arm. "Being not very smart?" She attempted a feeble joke.
"So I hear." He crossed the rest of the distance to stand next to her, studying her drawn appearance. "I should've noticed you weren't doing so good."
"We have all had a lot on our minds..." Sooraya paused for a moment, lowering her eyes. "Please big brother, don't blame yourself. This was my own mistake. Not yours..."
"We're supposed to look out for each other, that's how it works", he said quietly. "But okay. I'm just gonna have to make up for it now."
"No blaming yourself... no making up..." Sooraya repeated, her eyes still lowered. "But I cannot do it alone, Angelo..." She admitted quietly. "I think I need a little help. I don't know how or what..."
"I'll be here when you figure it out", he promised instantly. "And before that, too, it's time somebody took care of you for once."
Her first instinct was to protest she could take care of herself just fine, but that was not really true, was it... At least not at the moment... So instead Sooraya raised her eyes and gave him a little smile. "Thank you." She said simply. "Though it feels a little strange... the idea of being taken care of..."
"Well, you're just going to have to get used to it", Angelo said firmly. "How'd you feel about moving into my place for a while when they let you out, so I can keep an eye on you?"
"Uhm... uhm..." Sooraya flushed a bright red, having no idea what to say. "I am supposed to talk to the professor..." was finally all she managed to get out.
"...oh right, small apartment, two guys, the whole modesty issue", he realized. "Well, with my mom, then. She'd feed you up good, and no men there. I think."
"Angelo, I cannot impose on your mother. She has her own things to do." Sooraya protested. "But I can come over for a few afternoons or evenings to your apartment if you'd want?" She suggested shyly, normally not the type to invite herself over. "Then I am still around?"
"She likes looking after people", he countered, but nodded. "However you're comfortable with it. But I might call you a few times a day to make sure you ate."
"I would enjoy coming over to your place, Angelo. I like spending time there, with you and the others. I can even join you for dinner if you want." Sooraya repeated her suggestion, still a little shyly. "And you can call if you want."
"Okay, then, it's settled", he said with a smile. "You'll come to mine and any mealtimes you're not there for, I get to call to remind you."
Sooraya gave him a real smile this time. "It's a deal." Suddenly she sobered a little and her eyes lowered again. "Can I ask you something?"
"Of course." He tilted his head in a little concern at the sudden change in her mood. "Anything."
"With the professor... Have you..." Sooraya was not quite sure how to formulate her concerns. "It's a little... scary..." She finally admitted honestly. And embarrassing, but she didn't say that out loud.
"Have I had the tea and chats with him?" Angelo guessed. "Yeah, more than once. After Tel Aviv, and there were... other times. It's really nothing to be scared of, he only wants us all to be okay."
"I know it's not supposed to be..." Sooraya shifted a little, leaning back against the pillows. "It's just... Itfeelsstupid..."
Angelo eyed her. "What, because it's just from running yourself into the ground, not some massive trauma? It's... well, okay, it was stupid to do it, but you didn't just make a completely rational decision to stop eating and sleeping."
"It just felt wrong..." Sooraya repeated what she had in her conversation with Dr. Grey. "It was not that bad for me, Angelo... Certainly if you look at Yvette... the others... And yet I am here..."
"Yvette's been spending half her time in the woods because she doesn't trust herself around people", he pointed out gently. "Besides, it's not about what happened to them. You shouldn't compare experiences, what happened to you matters because it happened to you."
"I try not too, but you know what I mean, Angelo... I take care of people, not being taken care of... It feels like I failed or something..."
"Listen to me now." He leaned forward, eyes intent and very serious. "You did not fail. Even the most dedicated person needs to let themselves be taken care of once in a while, or they'll... well, they'll break."
She just nodded, taking in the words, but not really believing them. "I am sorry... My head feels all messy... I don't know..." Sooraya furiously wiped away a few more tears.
"That's why you have to go and see the Professor", he said patiently. "He'll help you sort it all out, and maybe recommend someone else for you to talk to. Did you talk to anyone about what happened on the roof?"
"Dr. Grey, Angel and Yvette know what happened... And I asked Maddie if she was scared of me now... But not much..." Sooraya paused for a moment. "The roof... And Rachel... I just tried to push it away..."
"You can't do that, 'manita", Angelo told her softly. "It'll work for awhile, but what you try to push away is still there, and it just gets bigger and stronger the more you try to ignore it. Bring it out in the light."
"And not throw cheese at people..." Sooraya muttered softly to herself. "I don't think I have much of a choice now... I want to heal, Angelo... And do my part in making sure that no one ever has to suffer that again."
"That's the spirit." He raised an amused eyebrow at her. "Cheese? Really?"
She had to blush a little. "Kyle was teasing me last week... I kinda overreacted and threw cheese at him... He told me I needed to talk to someone since that was not like me..."
"Yeah, you're not the one I'd expect to be throwing stuff", he agreed. "But at least it was only cheese, huh?"
"It's what I grabbed at the time. Making lasagna in the kitchen... It was kinda stupid of me... " Sooraya's blush deepened a little...
"You need to stop saying that", he told her firmly. "Just because you do something without thinking, or you're trying to work yourself into not thinking about something else which is what brought us here, it doesn't make you stupid."
"Not eating, sleeping and throwing cheese at people are stupid things to do, Angelo." Sooraya countered. "And now I am confusing myself. I don't want to..."
"No, they're irrational things to do but excusable when you've just come out of a pretty traumatic time", he insisted. "And I think maybe we can blame the cheese throwing on the not sleeping, too."
"They were still stupid." Sooraya remained with her opinion stubbornly.
"I'm going to get you out of this habit of putting yourself down", he declared abruptly. "Haven't decided how yet, but I'm going to. Raise your head high, Sooraya, you deserve it."
"I think you're gonna have to save that for later..." Sooraya replied honestly. "I can't really do that or believe that at the moment."
"I can wait. And I can be very persistent."
Sooraya gave him another of her small smiles. "Thank you, big bro..." A cracking yawn escaping stopped her voice.
"You're welcome." He reached over to stroke her hair briefly. "Now go to sleep before Scary Doc throws me out. You need it."
She slid down, nestling herself under the sheets and trying to get comfortable. "I'll try... Could you... Could you stay for a few moments?"
"I'll be right here", he promised. "'cept for eating and sleeping time, I'll be right here as long as you want."