Log: Jess and Sarah, Wednesday afternoon (backdated)

[x-network.livejournal.com]

Backdated to June 20. Sarah visits her twin after reading her latest journal post, and has somewhat of a breakdown as everything catches up with her. Jess is a great sister and helps her twin get through it.


Since returning home from Genosha, Sarah had been able to minimize reflecting on recent events by holing up with Layla and spending most of her waking time with her girlfriend. Now that her sister had arrived she'd also taken to spending time with Jess too, which was a Very Good Thing because she loved her sister very much and loved hanging out with her again.

Seeing talk on the journals of her sister applying to work with her at XFI, however, had been a little startling. She couldn't put a finger on it but it made her feel a little uneasy somehow. It wasn't that Jess was trying to replace her - she knew that wasn't the case - and it was a busy spot after all, so why shouldn't they entertain bringing someone else on after Sarah mailed Vanessa to tell her she'd be cutting back a bit? Maybe it was just that things were moving so quickly; Genosha happened and her mind had been thoroughly scrambled, from which she was still recovering, then Jessie was back in her life again, and she still wasn't near 100% normal yet.

Whatever she felt, she knew she had to talk with her sister about it, because if there was something there - jealousy, fear of being rejected or replaced by her bosses maybe, if not by Jess? - it had to be taken care of as soon as possible because she didn't want to feel awkward around her twin. So she popped over to Jessie's room and rapped lightly on the door frame.

"Hey sis, you around?"

Sarah had to ask for a couple of minutes before getting an answer.

"Come in!"

Sarah would find her sister lying on her bed, arms wide open and face staring at the ceiling. "I just had a vision. We were having ice cream somewhere in the city, so I guess we aren't doing that today." She looked a bit out of it, but otherwise peaceful. Waving a hand, she motioned her to sit by her side.

"Oh, sorry." She was about to ask if Jess wanted her to come back later but then he sister waved her in, so Sarah entered and took a seat on the bed. "How're you doing? Aside from the whole, you know." Motioning with her hand, she wasn't sure what the best gesture would be so she just shook her hand a little. "The whole vision thing?"

"Me? I'm doing fine, just fine." Jessie sat slowly, blinked a couple of times, and smiled at her sister. "It just takes a while to get used to it I guess." Not to mention it was not cool to lose her sense of self. "So, anything I can do for you? And before you ask no, I have no idea of how this conversation is going to go or anything."

Brushing back some of her hair, Sarah looked to her hands and then back up at Jessie again. She hadn't considered that maybe Jess's powers would've let her know how this was going to go, but it seemed like they hadn't, which was good. "Well, I guess... I dunno. It's stupid, I know, but I was just wondering... about the whole working thing, with XFI?" It was hard to put her questions into words because she wasn't sure how to express it in her own head, let alone aloud for someone else to understand, so she just started with that.

Jessie blinked at her sister, obviously not understanding right away. "What about it? I decided you and Layla could probably use more time without the twin being around making everything odd, so hey, the nice blue lady liked my spunk and had work to be done. Plus I get to see you over there." Jessie shrugged, not really giving it all the importance her twin was giving it. "I mean, I like it here, but I need to keep my brain occupied too, you know? And it's not like I'm going to steal your job or anything, that would be a bit too mean of me." And she laughed, because really?

"No, no, I know that, I just... I dunno." Sarah sighed, looking back down at her hands once again. "It's just me I think, I read about it on the journals and..." More hand waving followed, trying to express things she didn't know how to verbalize, before she sighed again. Jess's laughing at the idea was the appropriate reaction, and she tried to laugh herself but she felt more like crying. So her chuckle turned into a bit of a sob before she caught herself. "It's stupid. I'm being stupid. Don't mind me, sis." Leaning toward Jess, Sarah rested her head on the her sister's shoulder.

Without giving much of a signal, Jessie tackled her sister down on the bed, hugging her tightly with Sarah's head on her shoulder, one of Jessie's hands behind her twin's head and the other between her shoulders. "Then be stupid, alright? Come on, let all the stupid out. Yell, kick, but don't close yourself to me. I'm here, Sarah. I already told you that. So out with it."

Letting herself collapse into her sister's arms was far easier than she would've thought it could've been, but Sarah let herself go completely. Her visit had been precipitated by reading about Jess's sharing of her workplace with her but there was a plethora of other emotions with which to deal, and with her twin's prompting they'd finally reached their breaking point. Sarah was unable to continue to ignore them. Burying her head into her sister, she let the many tears associated with them flow. A great deal of her uneasiness seemed to stem from confusion, frustration, fear, all kinds of places, things that made her angry - not at Jess, just in general - which also came surging to the forefront along with the crying. Realizing how scared she'd been of losing Layla, of hurting her friends, not seeing her sister or family again, all of that came bubbling to the surface and she just clung tightly to her twin while she cried and let it all out.

After a solid minute or two of that she managed to catch her breath, still sniffling but able to at least communicate once again. Wiping her eyes, Sarah pulled back far enough to give her sister the tiniest of grins. "I was just... it was just stupid jealousy. About work and crap, but there was so much other stuff, I just... yeah. I'm sorry, sis." She went back in for another hug, not sobbing this time but tears still in her eyes as she clung tightly to Jess once more.

Jessie grinned back, patting the back of Sarah's head as she got hugged again. "You? Jealous? Sarah, I've been jealous of you since you started to have arguments with the hair dryer. But I've never wanted to replace you. Why don't we just put all that crap behind us and just enjoy ourselves?" She would hug her for as long as she needed to make sure of that.

Sarah snorted a bit at that. "Don't listen to a word the toaster here says, 'kay?" She just nodded to the idea of putting everything behind them because that sounded like an absolutely fantastic idea to her. "I like the sound of that. Thank you, Jess. I love you." She hugged back tightly once again, looking forward to the idea of putting bad things behind her once and for all.

"Pretty sure I can't, dummy. Love you too sis." The hug tighten a bit as Jessie closed her eyes, half wishing they could just stay like that forever. But alas, no such luck. She would silently hope for a few more minutes anyway.