Cammie & Tabitha: Bar Fights~

[x-scorpion.livejournal.com]

Early Sunday morning, Cammie and Tabitha go trolling for fights and trouble. Backdated a bit to Early Sunday morning.

Tabitha was distinctly divided between rubbing her hands together in glee, or fleeing in fear. She decided that was the perfect place to be as she stared at what appeared to be a quite literal hole in the wall that Cammie swore led to a "great dive."

"Well, you're right. This definitely wouldn't show up on Google."

"What did I say?" Cammie said, "The best places don't show up on Google maps. So, you ready for this?"

Tabitha checked to make sure she had taken her earrings out, made sure her boots where well-tied, and rolled her shoulders. "Let's see what they have to drink, huh?"

"This place has about everything. The guy even keeps anti-freeze behind the bar for me," Cammie pointed out, cracking her knuckles, "So, let's go in and cause some damage." Girls' nights out were the best.

"Inanely enough, I've heard about a kind of booze that tastes like licorice. If they really have everything, I want to try it." Tabs rubbed her hands together in anticipation.

"Go right ahead, I don't even remember what that shit tastes like," Cammie noted. Though she had more of a sense of taste now after her powers getting stripped and returned, things not somehow toxic still seemed...bland. And only worth the effort sometimes. Though she knew what kind of stuff felt the same rubbery way licorice did. And things like that were easy to come by.

"But the booze is a close second to the fisticuffs. ....I love that word. Fisticuffs."

Tabs pushed through the door with a sideways grin at Cammie. "You're a bad influence. I should buy you a shot of something vicious for that." The more vicious, the happier the Cammie, in her experience.

"Can it be engine cleaner? I like engine cleaner," Cammie returned with a grin, "Anyway, let's get our asses in there," she said, shoving Tabs through the door that marked the bar. It was flashing, one of the letters out for the count and the place seemed to ignore the NYC smoking ban.

Tabitha attempted not to stumble like she was already drunk on her way up to the bar, but with Ms. Enthusiasm behind her, it proved a challenge. "Hey, bartender, you got any engine cleaner?" she called out over the crowd. "She'll take rat poison or mutli-purpose cleaner in a pinch. I just want some whiskey."

The bartender looked up and caught a glimpse of Cammie and pulled a bottle that was clearly marked as being not safe for anyone else out and a couple of shot glasses. "She's not drinking this shit, is she?" he said in a gravely voice pointing to Tabitha.

"Nah, you know that shit's just for me. I don't share," Cammie returned.

She swiveled on the creaky bar stool to look at the other patrons of the bar. She ran a critical eye over each of them, assessing. "So Brain, what are we going to do tonight?" she asked Cammie.

"The same thing we do every night," Cammie said, knocking back her toxic drink, "Tear up a biker bar for fun and profit."

The biker next to Cammie started to get huffy, before he got a look at the woman speaking. His attitude changed abruptly. "Well, aren't you the cutest thing?" he smirked at her, positive he'd be getting tail tonight.

"Well, one of us has to be because you're as ugly as all fuck," Cammie said, knocking back another shot of poison and grinning at Tabs with an expression that said 'can you believe this guy?'

Tabs grinned into her drink. "Aw, he ain't so bad, if you like pot bellies."

Said pot-bellied man was turning an interesting shade of puce, and his buddies were taking interest.

"You know, I know some guys are like 'more to hold on to' and all, but no, not my thing," she said chuckling. Yeah, they were getting ready to start something, and bite off a bit more than they were expecting too.

Tabitha held a bottle of beer to her lips. "Y'know, I kind of think I should say something dirty here, but I can't think of a damned thing. Think we should just get on with it?"

"Yeah, why don't we," Cammie said grabbing the bartender, "Hey, you know that favor your owe me? Put this on and we'll call it even," Cammie said, handing him a CD. Though he raised his eyebrow he went and did it. Bad techno instantly filled the bar as the tender did a double take and then facepalmed.

She tilted her beer up to drain it when someone grabbed her boob.

The bottle was much better as a weapon anyway.

Cammie laughed as the fight started. It would've started anyway, it was that type of place, so when Tabs jumped in, she did too. She grabbed the nearest guy and kneed him in the groin.

"Oh noes, Tabs, I think they wanna play!"

Tabitha checked her beer bottle to find it was empty. She pouted at Cammie. "It's all gone," she mourned, before she tossed it into a trash can behind the bar. Broken glass was phase three of a bar fight.

Cammie was shoulders deep in burly types, some of them mutants, who were dropping like flies. Not dead, but in pain. It didn't stop them from keeping up the assault. It was like they came out of the walls in places like this. She laughed. This was a good time, to say the least.

"Forget the drink," she said, laughing at Tabitha, "Get over here and punch this asshole," said asshole was trying to grab her by the braid.

Tabs slid across the slick floor elbow first. She smashed the point into said asshole's spine and he folded like wet paper. "But I paid for that!" she protested as she shoved him out of the way with her foot.

Cammie hit another guy in the face, the bar was total chaos but that was a good thing. And at least the bad techno provided a good beat, "I'll pay you back. Jesus Christ, it's just beer!"

The blond woman ducked under a punch, slammed her shoulder into a gut. "Don't you know what happens to wasted beer?" she demanded in a high pitch.

"It gets mopped up," Cammie said simply, kneeing another guy in the stomach, "Look if it's a problem I'll buy you another fucking beer."

"Dude, no! All the beer you waste in your life gets put into a barrel, and when you die, you get stuffed into that barrel!" she explained as she dragged a biker around in a head lock.

"That is the most fucking stupid thing I have ever fucking heard in my fucking life," Cammie returned as someone started pulling on her hair and then they ate toxic fist. Vomit ensued.

Tabs dragged a head into her knee, felt a crunch. "Are you making fun of my booze mythology?"

"Yes," Cammie said, stepping out of the way of the ensuing vomit, "Because that's retarded."

Someone else didn't learn and tried pulling TABS' hair. She ducked under the clutching fist and spun her hair into a knot. Then she head-butted her assailant. "Meanie superstition mocker!"

"Still retarded," Cammie said, kneeing another guy in the groin and working her way around to Tabs. She avoided what must have been a bar stool at one point and it flew past her head.

Tabitha knocked the splintered wood to the floor and kicked it out of the way. Shrapnel bad, take it from an explosives expert. "Think we're getting into Stage Two, Your Badassness!"

"What was stage two again?" Cammie said, gesturing to the bar tender for a drink. She was thirsty.

The bartender put two more drinks on the bar and charged the double. He didn't much mind the violence, but he had to pay the bills somehow.

"Phase one: Fists and other body parts, phase two: improvised weapons, phase three: broken glass. I don't think we've ever gone beyond that one." Tabitha took a gulp of her drink as she caught her breath.

Cammie knocked back her shot, "Yeah, you're right. I think step four was profit? Fuck yeah, go us."

"I'm a little disappointed, though," Tabs said mournfully. "Nobody's landed a good punch on me tonight. It's like they're all wimps."

Cammie looked down at the guy at her feet, who was still puking, "Don't worry. I have a list of places we can hit tonight. Someone will punch you. If not, we can always go toe to toe," she suggested, "As friends. Who punch eachother."

Tabitha laughed out loud. "That's amazingly dysfunctional." She finished her beer. "If these assholes can't man up, I may take you up on that."

"I won't even use my arm," Cammie promised, turning back to order another shot of her poison, "So, what do you say? 'nother venue after this?" The bar tender just went about cleaning glasses, the fights here were normal and he knew Cammie enough to know she hadn't killed anyone.

Tabitha fished another twenty out of her bra and put it on the bar. She nodded. "Let's get while the getting is good."

Cammie nodded and pointed towards the exit, "Now, TO THE BAR! ...another bar. Over there. To punch things. Let's fucking leave now," she looked at the bar tender, "Feel free to keep the CD."

He grunted in reply.