Log: Matt & Hope (backdated)

[x-daredevil.livejournal.com]

Hope runs into Matt in the middle of withdrawals and learns more than she bargained for.



Laying outside in the sun wasn't helping Matt feel better. Nor was reading. Usually when he felt like crap, reading helped, especially his bible. Nothing helped right now, he couldn't concentrate for shit. He was tired, lacked motivation and had insomnia the night before. Damn withdrawal. He hated it. Maybe he should go inside? Except that was too much effort now too. Damn withdrawal. At least this was somewhat easier than when he'd gone off pain meds. That had fucking hurt.

Hope had decided the day was far too nice to stay inside, so instead of her usual skirt she had donned a pair of Capri's and a light shirt and had gone exploring outside. While she was getting quite familiar with the inside of the mansion, outside she only knew the basics. She has simply gone walking along some of the paths, keeping the mansion in sight for now. Suddenly she stopped the young man who had assisted her one her first day, so she changed course to at least say hello. "Good afternoon Matt."

Grunting and making a sort of half-intelligible greeting, Matt turned his head a little so she might understand him. Actually rolling over onto his back was too much effort now too. "Hi," he finally said. "Sup?" It probably looked as though he had been asleep, but he wasn't. Just lethargic and cranky. He had no idea if she knew he was an addict or not.

She looked a little closer and frowned a little. He didn't look very well in her opinion. "Nothing in particular... I merrily wished to say hello." She hesitated a moment before continuing. "Forgive me for asking, but are you alright? You seem unwell?"

Rolling over with a groan, Matt marked his place in his bible and closed it up. It wasn't as if he were reading it. "I'm fine," he assured her, absolutely failing to sound at all confident in that. Sighing, he added, "Withdrawal. It's actually not so bad this time."

Withdrawal? Her frown deepened as she remembered the post he had made to he his journal and she put the puzzle pieces together. The school and it's inhabitants did like to keep surprising her with things she has never dealt with before in an awfully short time. Nevertheless she sunk down to the grass, tucking her legs besides her. "You still do not seem fine to me. Are you sure you do not require any form of assistance?" She tried very hard to keep the shock and confusion she was feeling once more from her voice. "I could fetch someone from inside the mansion?"

"Really, I'm fine," Matt sat up with effort and smiled, "See? Fine. There's nothing anyone can do anyways. I just have to...let it happen. That's sort of how it works, at least physically. If I take anything to relieve the side effects I risk addiction to that." Once an addict, always an addict.

If he said so... She was still doubtful, but she could always change her mind later on if she did thought he needed assistance and alert someone. "Alright. I am afraid I have very little experience with these matters." Of course there had always been rumors in the town where she lived about men who seemed little too fond of alcohol or the occasional woman who used a little too much Valium, but mostly she had only heard about it in health class at school or seen on television.

Somehow, it didn't surprise Matt that she didn't have a clue. Hope was nice, but she seemed rather...sheltered. "Be glad," he replied dryly. "I came here from rehab, then...yeah," backslid, clearly. "Got lucky this time. They aren't making me go back to rehab and I don't gotta leave the school. Don't know what I'd do then." And he really didn't want to think about it because he was mostly out of options if that happened.

"I am sure they would only do that if there was absolutely no other resort and even then they would try to make sure there is a place for you to go." Hope attempted to be reassuring. "I may not have been here for long, but I have the impression the staff is extremely determined to assist us with various matters and problems."

That was true, "Yeah, but I got a social worker too. Xavier's just my guardian." The closer he got to 18 though...this was his life and his choice. "Not always up to me or them or whatever. "In my experience, that's not how people normally act unless there's something in it for them." Except here they were. It was hard to adapt to.

"I do not know, Matt..." Hope's voice trailed of. She had seen the behavior described often enough, but she preferred to think people could be better then that. "I generally prefer to believe the best of people."

"We come from different worlds," Matt pointed out. "You learn not to do that pretty quick where I grew up."

"It does sound like our worlds are very different." It was the only thing Hope could say to that. "May I ask what it was like where you grew up?"

It wasn't a criticism, merely a fact. Neither of them had had a choice about where and how they grew up. He made a vague gesture towards the front of the school, "Neighborhood in Manhattan known by most people as Hell's Kitchen. It's even on maps and stuff, but the official name is Clinton," he snorted at that, "They're revitalizing it and all that, but...it's old. Run down. People there are...hard. Layla's from there, too."

Hope nodded. "I believe you mentioned that briefly when we first met. I think saw a news report or documentary on the area once. From what I saw it was not a nice neighborhood."

"Not so much," Matt agreed, "It's...it's not a bad place. I mean, I liked living there and stuff. But it's not all roses and whatever. Not like where you lived, I'm sure. Tell me about it?"

How to explain what is was like where she lived? "The area was very beautiful with many things close by. People can live well there and most did..." Hope started hesitantly. "It could all look very well from the outside though, but I believe many things go on behind closet doors. Much like in Desperate Housewives?"

That made Matt smile. He'd never seen the show, but he was familiar with it. "Sounds like it's wild," he agreed. The show was pretty crazy, right? "I think everywhere is sort of like that though. Rough or pretty on the outside, but inside...there're all kinds of people. Good and bad. And bad people who do good things and good people who do bad things." He paused, thinking of Genosha. "Some places are just worse than others."

"Well, maybe not quite as crazy as the show, but I do believe you are right. People are... complicated..." That was the best word to find to summarize her feelings.

"Ain't that the truth!" Matt agreed. He was beginning to feel a little better now. Still tired, but less...sucky. "And the thing is, this isn't new.. It's always been complicated and sucky. And people have always been trying to deal with it."

"That is much of what our history shows. I still like to believe we can do better though."

Could they? Really? "It's...a nice hope," he agreed, "but....there's so much hurt and pain. I don't think it'll happen."

Hope spotted the book lying near him and she gently picked it up. Though it was mostly in braille, small letters somewhere on the cover did tell her it was a bible. "Doesn't this book teach us Faith and Hope are some of the most important qualities to have?" Her grandmother thought so, otherwise she would not have sent the set with the brush, comb and mirror.

"Guess that's why I won't be a priest," Matt replied cheekily, then turned more serious and nodded, "Yeah. It does. Not always easy though. Faith...that's okay. Hope though...I know it's your name, but that's harder."

"Perhaps it would not hurt to try." Hope shrugged a little. "I do not know much of such things, but it cannot hurt to attempt it."

Snorting, Matt thought she was an bleeding optimist who needed a dose of reality. He wasn't so pissed at everything to be the one to do it though. He wasn't that much of an ass. "You weren't there," he finally said. "You didn't.....you didn't see what we saw. And heard." And did.

Hope frowned a little. "There? Are you referring to some place specific?"

"You ever heard of Genosha?" Matt asked. "Little island country off Africa."

"Not really..." Hope shook her head. "The name does sound a little familiar though. I might have come across it in the news or my social studies classes though."

"Yeah, I'd never really heard of it either," Matt agreed. He took his sunglasses off and rubbed the bridge of his nose while he tried to compose his thoughts a little, "They use mutants as slaves. Take away their free will, brain wash them. They're considered property. About a month ago, they had a....well, sort of a civil war, I guess. New government now, new everything. See, they made this mistake," he put his sunglasses back on and turned to face where Hope was, "they kidnapped a bunch of students and stuff from here. Xavier's. And the teachers and other adults, they moonlight as these, I dunno, black ops sort of people. The X-Men. Some of us got made into those mutates. Some of us escaped partway through the process...like me," he admitted quietly. "We...did what we had to do to survive. And to take down Genosha."

"You were kidnapped? By the government of a foreign nation?" That was foremost fact that registered in Hope's mind and the only thing that got out. The whole stuff about enslaving and it happening to people she had begun to get to know registered, but only vaguely... The rest of her mind was occupied by trying to keep a sudden surge of shock and fear safely pushed behind walls. She could not stop herself from shaking though, her breath and heartbeat racing from the adrenaline surging through her. This was from a fantasy novel straight into a horror novel...

"They claimed we were terrorists," Matt explained, then stopped as he registered her heartbeat. Reaching out, he touched her shoulder gently. "Calm down. It's not going to happen again," he hoped. What was the likelihood of that happening!? "It's okay."

Hope closed her eyes, taking a deep breaths as she focused on some of the meditation exercises she had been learning. After what seemed forever, she was able to open her eyes, the overt shock gone, but tension still thrumming under the surface. "My apologies, Matt. I did not mean to panic. It was a bit of a.. shock."

"Yeah, no kidding," Matt wasn't upset at all. He left his hand on her leg easily, just in case. It had been a worse shock waking up there powerless like he had, "I'm kinda surprised you believed me. Sounds pretty far-fetched, you know? It's the truth, but sounds pretty out there and I was there."

Hope nodded thoughtfully, still keeping most of her focus on breathing deeply and calmly... in and out... "Perhaps because it sounds so out of there, it makes it easier to believe. It is too far-fetched to just come up with on a whim."

Good point. "Yeah. It wasn't fun," he paused, idly rubbing her leg, "That's why I started drugs again. I was addicted to painkillers trying to stop my powers 'cause no one knew I was a mutant, that was...not the greatest thing, but I guess it makes sense? This time, it's 'cause that stuff sucked pretty bad. I'll be okay though. Wasn't for that long. I got sloppy," sloppy or did he want to get caught unconsciously? Hard to know really.

She just nodded, then remembered he could not see that and hmm'ed to acknowledge what he had said while she thought. Her parents had always taught her that people who used drugs were weak and in the best cases subjects to be pitied while remaining distant. But this was not like any of those things they had told her about... This sounded like an attempt to deal with something that had turned someone's world upside down and not quite sure how to deal with it. And that was something Hope could relate too. So she smiled a little as she tried to be encouraging: "I am sure you will be able to manage this in the end."

People used drugs for all sorts of reasons, not all of them because they were weak or needed to be pitied. The thing with drugs was, and he knew this first hand, was that at first you thought you were in control and then it sort of gradually shifted so that the drugs were in control. Assuming of course that you didn't over dose or anything like that. "I hope so," he agreed softly. "Sorry. Side effect of withdrawal. Makes me depressed and really bad company," that he recognized that was probably a good thing, but he didn't think of that.

"I think you are doing very well so far." Hope replied kindly.. Here was at least an exception to the rules... "With the not being bad company at least..."

It was a good thing she explained what she meant by doing very well since by Matt's reckoning, he wasn't doing too well at all. "Well...thanks," he paused as he scratched his nose. "You're pretty cool too. Even if you're like...my complete opposite." He smiled awkwardly.

"Thank you." Hope simply replied, but her eyes were beaming. "Perhaps those differences will enable us to 'learn' from each other?"

Matt snorted, "Yeah, maybe," he agreed wryly.