xp_logs | Nathan and Moira, Sunday night

A snowflake floated lightly down through the air in front of him, and Nathan followed its progress almost absently, until it reached the surface of the lake and vanished. Then he looked around for another and did the same. It was only the odd flake--it really wasn't snowing, although it was cold out here on the dock. He didn't move to do up his jacket, even as the wind picked up. Quite honestly, he deserved to freeze something off, he thought dispassionately.

Moira walked down the wooden dock, hands tucked deep in her pockets. She had searched nearly the entire mansion for Nathan but when she ran out of places to look, she had decided on a whim to come out here. A snowflake landed on her nose and she blinked. She hadn't realized it had started to snow. All the more reason to drag Nathan back inside.

She stopped a step or two behind him and cleared her throat. Moira was, in turns, bemused, irritated and touched by his reaction to what Pym had done. The desire to shove him in the lake was at war with the desire to kiss him for it.

"Hey," Nathan muttered, not looking around at her. He didn't blush, he told himself. It was windburn, that was all.

"'ey yerself," she replied, rocking back on her heels slightly. "What th' bloody 'ell are ye doin' exactly?"

"Watching the snow," he said a bit lamely. "It's trying very hard."

An eyebrow twitched. "So I see." She paused. "Ye could 'ave done it inside...where I wouldna 'ave spent God only knows 'ow lon' tryin' ta locate ye." She was actually rather irritated by that.

He looked up at her tentatively as she sat down beside him, dangling her feet over the edge of the dock. "You read my, um--parable-thingy," he said. It wasn't really a question.

"O' course I did." Moira pushed him with her shoulder gently. "God, men are so bloody stupid. Even if 'twas cute in a bizarre way."

"I just--" He hesitated, swinging his feet for a moment before he found the courage to answer. It was a good thing that the voices were quiet and all the dead people had decided to take a brief sabbatical from watching him. He was having a hard enough time dealing with all of this as it was. "Are you sure that someone like him--well, he's part of your world, Moira. He could be enthusiastic about the things that you're enthusiastic about, could keep up with you intellectually--"

Moira stared at him for a second and then started to laugh hysterically. Nathan gave her an indignant look which only made her laugh harder. "Nathan, 'e's a bloody playboy! Why on eart' would I want 'im!" She reached over and clipped him upside his head. "An' ye keep up wit' me more than jus' fine. An' th' last time I checked, we like th' same thin's as well." Another giggle escaped as she thought about it for a second.

Nathan rubbed his head, giving her a baleful look that didn't have a whole lot of enthusiasm behind it. "I was just trying to--" He stopped again, shaking his head. "I have no idea what I was trying to do," he confessed. "No clue whatsoever. First I'm reading about him sending you coffee, then I'm writing a fairy tale about us, then I'm talking to Dom--"

Both eyebrows now joined each other in her hairline. "Oh?" she prompted, leaning back on her hands.

"She's in Seoul," he muttered. "She had her laptop, so we talked." He fell into a pensive silence, staring down at the surface of the lake again. "I'm a shit," he said finally.

She turned to face him and laid a hand on his arm. "Why?" She wondered if this had anything to do with -that- incident.

"I just am." He was feeling rather depressed about it, actually, if he admitted it to himself. "I never wanted to hurt her, Moira."

She blinked and gave his arm a squeeze. "Should I ask wha' 'appened?" Moira was a little hesitant about asking after Dom. Their e-mails had actually gotten quite polite the other day but still...

"We decided I was a shit. She's going to shoot me."

"She bloody well isna! I dinnae care if 'twas a mutual agreement, I'm damn well nay goin' ta be patchin' ye from bullet wounds!" That was it, he was edging closer to being tossed into the lake.

"I told her I made a mistake in Volgograd." Nathan looked up at Moira a bit uneasily.

The irritation left Moira rather quickly and understanding, some at least, came back. "Oohhh." She winced, feeling just a little bad for Domino. "Dinnae take it well...?"

"Better than I expected," he admitted, looking back at the lake. Nice, safe lake. Except that it was still rather insistently showing him his reflection, and if he'd wanted to be thinking about how he didn't want to look in the mirror he could have stayed inside. "Apart from the wanting to shoot me, I mean. But I should have told her that long ago. It's not like I didn't realize it was a mistake about two seconds after I was fully conscious again." He swiped restlessly at another snowflake.

She sighed. "'Tis a 'ard thin' ta say, Nathan, dinnae beat yerself up." A scowl crossed her face. "Yer gettin' ta good at doin' it lately. Domino, Pym...God, like ye 'ave anythin' ta worry 'bout wit' -him-. I thought I got 'im off followin' me at th' dinner after I turned 'im down for a date."

Nathan opened his mouth, then closed it again. Considering that what had been on its way out was just an inane repetition of Moira's last few words, that was probably for the best. "I make such a mess of things," he muttered fitfully. "I always have."

"Oh ye bloody well do not, Nathan Dayspring!" Moira snapped as she punched him in the shoulder. "God damn it, man, stop bein' so bloody...argh!" How on EARTH could a man that intelligent be this stupid?

He scowled at her. "I do," he insisted, not sure why he was being so persistent. But the self-flagellating felt right, so he was going to keep doing it. "I'm a lost cause. You shouldn't waste your time."

"I'm nay bloody wastin' my time!" Moira had certainly learned the bellowing lesson from her uncle. "God DAMN it, I dinnae want Pym! I dinnae want anyone else but YE an' if ye say tha' I'm wastin' me time once more, I'm fuckin' punchin' ye in th' jaw!" As it was... She was too furious to think about what she was doing as her hands shot out and *shoved* him off the dock.

He wasn't expecting it. Even with the link, it all happened too fast, and before he could even try to grab at the dock he was hitting the water. He had been gaping at her as she roared at him, too, so he got a mouthful of water before he could help himself. The lake was freezing, he thought dimly as he floundered beneath the water for a moment. Reminded him more than a little of the Volga river that time, actually.

Then he was breaking the surface again, coughing and sputtering. Moira was on her feet, hands clapped over her mouth as if she couldn't believe what she'd just done. "Are you t-trying to drown me?" he yelped between coughs as he tried to remember how to tread water.

"Oh God..." Moira dropped back down to her knees and leaned over. Her eyes widened but it was obvious she was trying not to laugh. "I really dinnae MEAN ta...got me so bloody mad..." She reached down to grab his arms, to give him the leverage he needed to pull himself out again and tried not to fall in after him.

Nathan paddled backwards instinctively, glaring at her. "N-Not letting you d-dunk me again," he grated mistrustfully.

"Oh stop bein' such a bi' baby," she snapped, offering her hand again. "I dinnae want ye ta freeze ta deat' on me."

He ignored the hand. "Y-You put me in the l-lake, I'll stay in the l-lake."

"Like bloody 'ell ye well!" Moira lunged for him and managed to get a hand full of jacket. "Stop bein' so petulant an' let me 'elp ye get out o' there!"

Nathan tried to pull away again. It didn't even occur to him that she wouldn't let go of his jacket if he did that, and Moira let out a shriek as she toppled forward off the dock. He swore, getting another mouthful of water as he was pulled under again.

Luckily for her, Moira had managed to shut her mouth a second before she had been pulled under. But the lake was so damned -cold- and the water tugged at her heavy jacket as she struggled to get to the top. Suddenly, an arm was around her waist and then she could breath again.

"B-bloody 'ell!" she chattered, clinging to Nathan's shoulders as she glared up at him again.

For some absurd, ridiculous reason, he was laughing, even as he tried to catch his breath. "U-Us and w-water, huh?" he managed, his teeth chattering, and then concentrated on getting them both to shore.

***

Her hands wouldn't stop shaking, Moira noticed, annoyed. The mansion was warm, thankfully and when she and Nathan got back to her rooms, she turned up the heater full blast. Giving Nathan a baleful look, she shrugged out of her jacket.

"Some bloody jacket," she muttered, realizing again she was soaked completely through. "Whose fault was this again?"

"You p-pushed," Nathan said, staggering a little as he came through the door and shut it behind him. His fingers didn't seem to want to work properly.

"Ye were b-bein' a moron," she retorted, heading towards the bedroom where dry clothes would be. Her socks seemed to be retaining an amazing amount of water and squished as she walked. She hated squishing.

Moira bent over and tried to get her shoes off. "God damn it, t' much squishin'." She shivered and wondered when she was going to feel warm again.

Nathan went over and stood by the window, staring out at the grounds. "It's s-snowing," he observed, only vaguely aware of the fact that he was dripping on the carpet. He should probably take his coat off, at least, but that would take effort. "F-For real."

The shoes, thankfully, came off easily and she got rid of the disgusting socks as soon as possible. "R-really?" Moira joined him at the window and wrapped her arms around herself as she shivered again. Even freezing, she couldn't help but marvel at the snow. It rarely snowed at Muir, so this was a sight she always enjoyed.

"P-Probably won't stick." Nathan concentrated on trying to take off his coat, but for some reason it would come. Then it struck him that the buttons were done up.

"Tha's sad, Nathan." She sighed and reached over to help him with the buttons. But, she admitted to herself, he had been in the lake longer than she had been and Moira was having dexterity problems. Moira suddenly paused and looked up at him. "Shit, Nathan, ye feelin' okay?" Her mind had suddenly remembered that a possible side effect of the drugs she had put him on was hypothermia. Guilt started to settle in her stomach.

"F-Fine," Nathan said as she helped him get the coat off. "W-wet, though." He stopped, blinking down at her. "Y-You dropped me in freezing water."

"P-pushed," she reminded him, still worried. "God, completely forgot...one o' th' possible side-effects of yer meds is hypothermia." She bit her lip and looked guilty. Maybe she ought to be taking him down to the medlab, just in case. "Damn it..."

"N-No, you're not getting it," he said, trying to smile. "Y-You dropped me in freezing water. Get it?"

"Wha'...OH!" Moira's mind suddenly flipped back to their talk from the other night and she felt a blush start to creep up her body. Well, at least it was warm... "S-so I did...d' I get ta see wha' 'appens now tha' I did?" She swallowed a little, suddenly more than a little nervous. He could still say "no"...

His hands were shaking harder, suddenly, but he reached out and brushed the wet hair out of her face. "You l-look like a drowned rat," he said softly. "I-It's really c-cute." She started to scowl at him, but before she could say anything he leaned in and kissed her.

All the indignation she had felt at that statement left her when he kissed her. Moira whimpered slightly and then kissed him back, wrapping her arms around him. When she shivered again, she honestly didn't think it was from the cold.

Oxygen deprivation was an issue, Nathan reflected dimly, and gently pulled back. Moira looked up at him, her eyes wide, and he finally managed a smile, though it was still wobbly. "I'm not s-sure--" He stopped at the stab of fear that traveled up the link from her end, flickering in those blue eyes. "I just--need you to b-bear with me, okay?" he went on unsteadily, framing her face with his hands for a moment. He could feel a different sort of trembling starting in his muscles, something that had to do with the conflicting fight-or-flee impulse that was trying to take over. Hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back close. "D-Don't let me forget where I am," he whispered into her hair.

Moira curled herself around him and shivered. "I willnae, I promise," she murmured into his chest, unconsciously rubbing his back. Moira hated to admit it but it -had- been a long time and she was starting to get a bit nervous.

"We're b-both still dripping on the carpet," Nathan pointed out after a moment, almost hesitantly.

She glanced down. "Aye, we are." Moira swallowed. "I, um...guess we need ta...change?" Moira really could have kicked herself at this point.

"Or j-just throw them all in a pile and, um--" Nathan stopped, reminding himself that he was not eighteen years old and did not need to be nearly so awkward about this. Really. But the thought made him smile again, and Moira's eyes brightened as she looked up at him. "You m-make me feel like a teenager," he said, and rather liked the delicate pink color her cheeks turned.

A shiver ran down her spine at how he looked at her. "Ye do th' same ta me..." A wicked gleam sudden appeared in Moira's eyes and she couldn't help but lean up to kiss him again. #O' course...I was a wild one in me teenage years...#

#That doesn't surprise me. If you can believe it, though, I wasn't.# They broke apart again, and he leaned his forehead against hers for a moment and just stood there, holding her. It felt right, and he told himself to listen to that voice, not his instincts.

It wasn't as hard as he thought it would be. There was nothing but trust on the link, and every time he felt himself slip, she was there, grounding him, bringing him back to the here and now and reminding him that it was just them. The world, this one and the one in his mind, were impossibly far away. There was just them, this room. The snow falling gently outside the window. All right, so maybe they both wound up on the floor in the process of removing the wet clothes and getting over to the bed, but he caught himself smiling as he steadied her, and the sparkle in her blue eyes as she looked up at him and wrapped his arms around his neck drove away the knot of ice that had settled in his chest long before he'd taken his header off the dock. This was Moira, he told himself, pulling the blankets over them both and smiling again, helplessly as he bent over her. This was Moira, and this was right, and everything else could go right to hell. And maybe it had been empty beds for him nearly as long as it had been for her, but he wasn't as out of practice as he'd feared.

To anyone else, the nerves and the start and stopping would have been too much. But Moira didn't mind. This was Nathan, who drove away her nerves and fears with a touch, both physical and mental. The shivers quickly turned from being a product of the cold to something else entirely. He was safe, he was home. There were a few times she felt him start to drift but he came back to her quickly when she persisted. He'd even had had the gall to tease her at one point but stopped that fairly quickly as she got her revenge. The link was ablaze with thoughts and feelings, and it enhanced everything by leaps and bounds. Moira had been so afraid of him not wanting her but Nathan quickly banished that fear.

She was sunlight and warmth and joy, dancing in his mind, and Nathan held to the link with everything he had, the last of his reserve, that protective distance he had kept for so long between himself and feelings like this, melting away. Somehow, he was both here with her and on Muir with her, holding her hand on the beach and lying sprawled on the floor of her study and on the roof, watching the stars. But here with her, most of all. "Love you," he whispered shakily, not sure where he stopped and she started, or whether there was any real separation between them any longer. He didn't have the breath to say the words, not after the first time, but he pushed them down the link, repeating them like a mantra. Meaning them, with everything that was in him.

It was almost overbearing but Moira welcomed it. Her body shook as she held onto him and she cried. #Love ye too.# Bouncing back and forth between their minds, gathering speed until it was one shared thought between them. They were all mixed up in each other's minds, but in a good way. Twisting around each other, mentally following the physical lead. He was everywhere, it seemed. Moira managed to get out "L-love ye" back at him once out of her mouth before her world exploded in color and thoughts and feelings. They held on, unwilling to let each other go.

When she stopped shaking, Moira sighed happily and twisted a little to look up at Nathan. She smiled a little fuzzily and placed a kiss on his shoulder. It was the only part of him that she could reach without a whole lot of effort and she was too tired to try and move much.

"Mmmm." The noise she made at him was very nearly a purr.

"Yeah," Nathan murmured, staring up at the ceiling. There were little stars in it, or maybe the stars were inside his head, he wasn't sure. His arms tightened around her, and he caught himself smiling again, helplessly, almost joyfully. "Feel like I'm going to float away," he whispered, kissing the top of her head.

"Jus' 'ave ta 'old on ta ye then," Moira replied, snuggling into him, unable to get the smile off her face. The link was still pulsing warmly, as if it had a heartbeat of its own. She tilted her head back, felt her hair spill over the arm wrapped around her shoulders.

A chuckle rumbled through his chest and he closed his eyes. The stars were still there. "Remind me why we didn't do this five years ago?" The urge that should have been there, the impulse to push her away to a safe distance, wasn't. He didn't feel even a flicker of unease, and he could have lost himself in that happy absence forever.

Moira tried to think. "...we're stupid an' stubborn." She managed to lift her head a little and she swallowed. "Love ye."

"Love you," he murmured back, the smile still playing on his lips. He did like the way that sounded.