Letter to Ms. Braddock

[x-cyclops.livejournal.com]

Slipped under Betsy's door in the medlab sometime Sunday night.

Scott held the envelope in his hands, turning it over and over. It was sealed, he couldn't change anything without opening it up, and getting another envelope. Which would be a waste, because he wouldn't change a single word of it.

He walked down the hallway and paused outside her door. He wasn't wanted, or so it seemed. He flipped the envelope over once more, examining the handwriting. Wondering if he should have written her nickname, or her full name, or even left it blank.

But in the end, he knew it was the right choice. A soft sigh, a grim smile, and he slid the envelope under her door.

Without waiting for a response, he turned on his heel and left the cold corridor.

---

Betsy,

I miss you.

I know you've put yourself in this exile, believing that you don't deserve to see anyone because of what happened while you were possessed.

Pardon my language, but I believe the situation calls for it.

To you, Ms. Braddock, I say: Bullshit.

Do you believe that we hold you responsible for the actions of that which possessed you? Of course not. Maybe a small portion of you does, but that's not why you've chosen to stay away.

It's that you hold yourself responsible for what Kwannon did.

And to that, I say again, Bullshit.

You are lying there in bed, thinking that you should have fought harder, you should have kept her from taking control, or once she had control, that you should have been able to wrest it from her.

There are all kinds of strength, Betsy. For some, it's the strength of battle. Of conquest. Of being stronger, more forceful, more powerful than your opponent.

For others, the strength comes in the ability to endure. To experience the pain, And to come through it all, to endure what others cannot, and still be there at the end.

Maybe not whole. Maybe not perfect. Maybe not even immediately stronger. But better for having endured.

Would it be better to not have gone through the pain? To have been able to fight at first, and won? I can't say. In some cases, yes. In others, no.

I think you'll come out stronger for this.

Don't let her win. Don't let her force you back into hiding again. You are better than her in so many ways; do you want me to list them? I will, if you but ask.

I fell in love with you, Elisabeth. With the woman who kissed me when she woke up from her coma. With the blind woman, who can now see. With the woman who ordered two glasses of wine and had a room key in her purse.

Don't leave me here alone. Take the time you need to recover, but whatever you do, don't hide. The dark has never become you. You are a creature of the light. Come and join me in it.

Yours,

Scott