Seek and Ye Shall Receive

[x-psylocke.livejournal.com]

Alison and Betsy

Alison visits the medlabs Sunday night. Hoping for contact with her friend before she leaves. And she gets it, not the happiest of encounters, but it is something.



Alison ghosted down the steps leading to the hallway towards the medlab, finding the same precise spot she'd been haunting for the past week, late at night. It was the wall closest to the room Betsy had all but locked herself into, refusing to see anyone, other than for medical treatment. Sighing she leaned on the wall and let herself slide to the ground until she was able to sit, indian fashion. Steadying her breathing she closed her eyes, trying to find her center slowly, grounding once steadily.

*Betsy?*

Dammit, why couldn't they leave her alone. If it wasn't Hank, Moira, or Madelyn. It was....Betsy rubbed her eyes, tiredly. All your fault. All your fault.

"Enough!" She screamed, her voice traveling down the hallway.

WEll. If the screaming made Betsy feel better, Alison certainly wasn't about to begrudge her that - and it wasn't as though any kind of loud sound would bother Alison anyway.

Eh. Miss you. Concern edged with worry, a quiet relief that Betsy was back underscoring it all. Alison wasn't a telepath, but it wasn't hard to focus her thoughts in such a quiet place, and... she could still feel Betsy sometimes. Or so she thought. Was that youin my dreams?

All Betsy wanted to do was sleep. Forever, if possible. Even after trying to block out everything, she still felt Alison, her concern. And it wore at every bit of her. Betsy sighed, her shoulders slumping just a bit more. Yes, it was.

Oh...

Anguish was there, but tightly controlled, carefully buried as deeply as possible for the moment. Self-blame was neatly set aside as well, though with a bit more difficulty. The anger was unchanged - hiding deep within whenever Betsy cared to look, unhidden but ferociously kept in check. Always.

I'm sorry I didn't hear you... well enough.

It was my fault....for not trying hard enough. There was definitely the resigned feeling, breaking through once more. Waves and waves of weariness washed over her. I'm so tired of fighting, everything.

You've been fighting so long you're forgetting that you don't need to fight everything, now... The thought slipped from her unbidden - not meant for Betsy, but not one Alison regretted even so.

And it was just as much my fault for not hearing you properly, mine for letting you break the link, Charles' for not spotting her... there's a lot of 'ifs' there... She tried to project quiet warmth and caring, offering support - a door that had always been opened to Betsy, even then. A flash of insight. You kept her from using the link we had, didn't you? Even when she was keeping you locked up inside your mind.

I tried to do alot of things, Alison. It didn't do much good....in the end She left it hanging there, the fact that /she/ hadn't been the one to finally bring everything to a close. Betsy leaned back on the bed, resting her head onto the pillows. Or perhaps trying to snuff out her existence. Perhaps, if I had started realizing what was happening sooner....

The thought slipped into Alison's, mirroring her own and she sighed. If you hadn't held on that long, if you hadn't slipped in to keep her from killing Miles, if you hadn't refused to give up and fought until the rest of us wised up... ALison leaned her head back on the wall, eyes closed, breathing slowly and steadily, reaching for that core of serenity the hour of meditation earlier had given her. There's always ifs...

Memories started to bleed out through the link. Images that refused to die. Betsy gasped. < i> No, please. Images of Manny and herself, collaborating. Logan's katana blade. Scott. It was hard to hold onto herself, to keep from being overwhelmed. Betsy grabbed at her head. All my fault.

Reaching out as best she could, Alison radiated as much calm and certainty towards Betsy as she could, letting the memories wash by her without even bothering to acknowledge them. Offering quiet and steady support as best she could, being there the only thing she could do - but refusing to believe that it meant nothing.

It took a moment, but she did break free from the trance-like state. Her hands falling limply to her sides. Alison, please. The need for isolation ever-present, but this time, the underlying feeling of appreciation was there.

Ok. Quiet but content, warmth edging towards Betsy in a quiet greeting for the night, lingering for a moment longer. Alison then opened her eyes without further words or thoughts aimed purposefully at Betsy, leaving it at that. Not quite daring to reach into the back of her mind to see if Betsy had left the link open this time, letting her friend decide when to make that clear, instead.

Thank you. Betsy let herself relax. Closing off from her telepathy, struggling to keep herself from breaking. She hoped Alison truly did forgive her for everything. Though, she had no room for forgiveness. She knew she was beyond it and maybe when they all found out the truth. She'll be dealt with accordingly, but until then. She rolled over on her side, away from the door.

Maybe they will forgive me....in time. </ i>