xp_logs | Doug calls Em for some reassurance before the date...

Doug sat quietly in one of the high-backed chairs in the lobby of whatever ritzy Minneapolis hotel Alison had gotten them reservations in. Everyone had been reassuring him that the date with Marie-Ange was going to go well, but he was still incredibly nervous. He turned a cell phone over and over in his hands before finally flipping it open and hitting a preset number. He drummed his fingers on the armrest and tapped a foot on the floor subconsciously, nervous energy filling him.

Marie was draped over her chair in Logan's room, back against one arm, legs over the other. She had an array of papers, including some charts and scans, and text books both in her lap and on the table beside her. When the phone rang, she had to feel for it under the mess, finally pulling it out and answering it. "Yes?"

Doug tried to maintain a conversational tone of voice, but even so, some of his nervousness leaked out into the greeting. "Hey, Em," he said quietly.

"Hey, honey," she said, smiling. "Nervous?" She closed the text she was reading and traded it for the cup of tea that was going cold on the table.

Doug leaned his head back against the chair he was in and chuckled dryly. "That obvious?" he asked. He ran his fingers through his hair and blew out a breath.

"Oh, you've only mentioned it in about every post or email you've made since she asked you out," Marie noted. "You're kind of giving it away." Her smile was almost audible, the suppressed amusement and obvious affection for Doug coming across clearly.

Doug's fingers started drumming on the armrest again as he smiled. "I just...she's...and I..." he stammered. Attempting to slow down, he said "Jamie and you and everyone have been so reassuring, but I'm still scared of messing up or embarassing her or something."

"Well, you just go ahead and be nervous, then," Marie suggested. "She knows you enough that she's expecting you to be pretty wound up, I'm sure. Even if you do mess up Doug, you'll get forgiven because you're worth another chance or ten."

Doug concentrated on breathing normally and rolled his shoulders to try and get some of the tension out. "I am?" he asked tentatively. "I...worry."

"I know you do." Marie cleared her papers out of her lap so that she could sit up. "But you are worth a lot of chances, Doug. Can you trust me about that?"

Doug sighed. "I'm trying, Em. I just...what does she see in me? What do _you_ see in me, that I deserve so many chances?"

"Oh, honey." Marie got up, stretching, and crossed to sit at the window, pulling the blanket there around her and looking out at the grounds. "I see that you give a damn about the world around you, that you listen to people when they speak. I see someone trying to be good for the people he loves, who's loyal and strong when they need him. I see someone willing to grow and change. I can't say a lot better about someone. Can you?"

Doug sniffled quietly. "You see all that?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah, I do." Marie smiled and waved at Artie who was down below, splashing in puddles with a few other students who had stayed over the break. "I always have."

Doug stammered for a moment, trying to quash down his instinctive response. But then he sighed. No facades meant no facades. It meant not holding in his feelings. "It just wasn't enough for anyone to want to date me until now. What does she see that's different?" He sighed.

"Well, people kind of match in certain ways. She just sees that you and she match up in a way that feels right to her, I suppose." Marie was silent for a moment and then continued quietly. "It wasn't that I couldn't have been interested in you, you know. It wasn't some failure on your part. You were pretty damn wonderful. It was me. I know that probably doesn't help, but it's true."

Doug dragged his feet up underneath himself and curled up. "I still love you, you know that, right?" He sighed. "And I feel bad for that."

"I know," Marie said, sounding a bit sad. "Feelings change and evolve in their own time. And even if it doesn't ever change, it doesn't mean you love anyone else less for it."

Doug sat quietly on the other end, not really sure of what to say, just content to know that Marie was on the other end listening. After a minute or so, he decided to change the subject. "So how's Artie handling being without his partners in crime?"

"I can see him from here." Marie was smiling again. "It's wet out back, there's mud, and there's still some other kids. He's happy... well, happy as a little boy in mud. He's not so little these days, though. I can't believe how fast he's growing."

Doug laughed. "Jamie and I are just waiting for the day that he and Miles realize that girls aren't so icky after all. And then there will be laughing and mockery."

Marie laughed. "Oh, yes, I'm sure. That day's not so far off, you know."

Doug grinned. "Oh, I know. It's going to be so much _fun_."

"Meanie. You know there's going to be late nights and need of a lot of cookies and video games and everything else to mend broken hearts. ...is it bad that I kind of can't wait?" Marie grabbed her tea and took another drink.

Doug smiled gently. "No, it's not. Matter of fact, I imagine we'll probably be doing a lot of that with the boys ourselves once we get over the initial laughing. I mean, I know how hard it's been for me, I wouldn't be a very good friend and roommate if I weren't there for them."

"It's... maybe it's just because I was home or something, but I can see more than ever that we have a family here too." Marie pulled the blanket closer around herself, looking out the window still. "In our own strange way, at least. I feel lucky. Even when I'm faced with cleaning Manny up and hardly knowing what to do about all the hurt and wanting to cry, I can still feel it, at least when I get a breath of air and a bit of perspective."

Doug sighed at the mention of Manuel. "Perspective is good. Don't...don't run yourself into the ground, Em. And you're right. We are a family. Dysfunction, infighting, and everything." He chuckled.

"I won't." Marie laughed a little. "I've got at least one person making sure that doesn't happen, other than me. And, yeah... you can kind of see it, can't you? I've missed you, in case I forgot to say it, Doug. More than just over break."

Doug smiled gently, forgetting that Marie couldn't see it. "I know what you mean, Em. I've missed you too."

"Think your girlfriend will let me come around when you get back?" she teased.

Doug spluttered. "Girl...girlfriend? No, she...I...it's just...one date..." he stammered.

"Oh dear." Marie giggled. "Well, we'll see, won't we?"

Doug continued to stammer, all his nervousness and self-consciousness back in full force.

"Oh, honey," Marie said gently. "Cut that out. I'm teasing. She's your friend first. You weren't this nervous going skating with me, were you?"

Doug chuckled. "Actually, I was."

"And how did that go?"

Doug sighed. "It went fine."

"Well, then? What does that tell you?" Marie asked patiently.

Doug sighed again. "That this will probably be fine, and I'm worrying over nothing."

"Bingo." Marie shook her head. "Honey, this is a good thing and it's a fun thing and I can promise you that Angie is probably pleased as punch to get to do this. This is a happy thing for her, remember. And, no matter what you do, it'll be good. You both deserve it."

Doug nodded. "I'll try to remember that, Em." He grumbled. "But speaking of that, I should probably think about going and getting ready. Tell Artie that I miss him, and we'll bring him something fun back?"

"I will. I promise everything will be fine. Try and relax and trust me. If I'm wrong, I'll make it up to you. Wish I could give you a hug, but you'll have to settle for a mental one." Marie carried her empty cup to the kitchen and poured another cup of tea.

Doug chuckled. "Thanks for listening to my neurotic behavior, Em."

"What are friends for? Go have fun," she ordered.

"Yes'm," he replied jokingly. With that, he hung up and wandered back to his room, chuckling to himself.