Log: Matt & Amanda - Checking in

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Amanda goes to check on Matt after the Slenders and finds Matt on the gymnastics high bar.

Warning: Discussion of drug abuse/addiction



Gymnastics and other physical activities helped to keep Matt clean and sober. Action was better than inaction and doing something meant that dwelling was harder. Unsurprisingly, he was working the high bar especially aggressively today. After what had happened with those Slendermen things...he was over it all, but he was determined not to deal with his problems with drugs. That was sometimes easier said than done though. Clad in form-fitting spandex, leather grips on his hands and sweat beading on his skin, Matt swung below the bar, each time gaining more momentum before he flew over the bar into a handstand. Without warning he dropped again, this time with his knees pressed nearly against his forehead as he swung around again into another handstand as he turned around. Over and over, around and around, each group of skills growing more daring than the maneuver before. As he worked, he muttered to himself naming each skill, half for his sonar, but mostly just to keep focused.

The door opened and Amanda came in. She was checking on all the kids after their brush with the supernatural, but she had to admit Matt was an especial concern. For a moment, however, she just watched him go through his routine, impressed by the fearlessness as he flew on the bars and not wanting to distract him by talking, at least not until he was done.

At first, he didn't notice Amanda as he worked on the bars, but hear heartbeat began to invade his concentration and after a while Matt couldn't block it out anymore. Dismounting with a flip, he was breathing hard, muscles feeling like jello as he knelt on the padded mat. "Amanda," he gasped, pushing his long hair from his face, but not moving.

"Impressive bit of work there, Matt," she replied with a smile. "I didn't want to interrupt, but I wanted to see how you were doing. Got a sec?"

Nodding, he waited a moment before continuing, "Yeah," he agreed, sitting there. "Thanks. It ah...helps keep me focused."

"Focused is good," she replied, picking up the towel and water bottle he'd left by the door and bringing them over as she came to join him on the mats. "Here, I think you might need these first," she continued, handing both over. "You were pushing yourself pretty hard."

Taking the offered items, Matt sucked on some water and felt better, "Thanks. Yeah. I...it's been tough. Not gonna lie. The focus helps," Go gymnastics. "Those Slenderman things weren't the best."

"I figured. How bad are the cravings?" she asked, knowing exactly what he meant. This time, at least, she wouldn't let him down.

"Gets worse at night. Can't sleep. I just keep hearing those things, like nails on a chalk board. How I'm a failure. They put me on trial, my dad..." He choked, not intending to say that much. "Keep trying to focus and wear myself out in the day. Hasn't worked."

"Have you talked to the docs at all? They might be able to help with the sleeping thing." Amanda dug in her pocket and pulled out a pack of the mild flavoured gum she supplied him with. "Here. Thought you could use more. It'll save your fingernails, at least."

"No," Matt shook his head slightly, taking the gum and popping it in his mouth, "I don't want anything to make me sleep. I...told a couple students though, to keep an eye out. Just telling them though makes me not want to let them down. My friends, I mean. The Slendermen, they said my word was worthless, that I was an addict and could never be trusted. I'm gonna prove those slimy things wrong."

"Being an addict doesn't mean you can't use medication ever," Amanda pointed out. "It just means we need to be supervised more. Fuck, if I couldn't have painkillers, I'd be in a right state after some of our missions. But it's good you're getting friends to keep an eye out - I get the not letting anyone down thing. Just remember, if you're having trouble, you can tell someone. There's professionals here for a reason."

"I don't WANT any," Matt replied forcefully. "I'm not...I'm not in pain. Just insomnia, which I've had for forever and a day now. And I don't want to take pain meds if I can't sleep. That's stupid. And I don't want sleep meds because they're potentially addicting. And I don't need some sort of anti-anxiety med because I'm having a bad day because of some stupid demon thing!" he was annoyed now. It wasn't supposed to be so difficult to understand!

"All right, calm down." Amanda shrugged. "Sleep dep is as bad as being on drugs, in its own way - I just wanted to make sure you weren't being dumb about actually getting help with the insomnia 'cause you were scared of the idea of needing meds."

"I'm okay," Matt assured Amanda. "It'll last for a few days and I'll nap after classes, then I'll sleep and be okay. It's nothing new. It's actually a lot better over all than it used to be," being off drugs and in control of his powers did wonders for it actually. "If it goes more than three or four days, I promise I'll see a doctor, but it usually doesn't last longer than that."

"I'll hold you to that promise," she replied, satisfied. "'S too easy to go too much the other way, sometimes, especially when we've fucked up before and it feels like everyone's waiting for you to do it again."

Matt nodded, this wasn't his first time on the rehab horse. "I just...I don't want to fall off again. I already did it once. And it's so easy to slip...even if no one else is waiting to laugh."

"You won't, not if you're sensible about it and know when to ask for help." Amanda couldn't resist one last reiteration - teens generally were bad at asking for help, and Xavier's teens even worse. "But I'll lay off on the advice for now. I just wanted to make sure you were doing as well as could be expected after the Slenders."

Matt nodded, getting up and retrieving his towel to wipe the sweat away, "Thanks for checking up," he replied. "I'm gonna go shower and all that. Maybe try to go to bed at a reasonable hour for once," hey, stranger things had happened.

"I've kind of dropped the ball lately, so 'm trying to make up for it," she admitted, climbing to her feet as well. "But you're doing all right, Matt. I think you'll make it."

That he'd make it felt good to hear, especially right now. Nodding with a small smile, he paused a moment. "You want a hug? I'm all gross." "You're talking to the person who wound up with Slenderman goo in her hair. Sweaty boy will be a breeze." She opened her arms. "Just don't make me feel short with the picking me up and swinging me around thing." It was said with a grin.

"Awww," Matt protested, giving her a hug - and picking her up to swing her around just because Amanda said not to. But Matt put her on the ground again fairly quickly. "Shorty."

"Smartarse," she replied in much the same vein, punching him in a friendly way on the arm. "Now go have a shower and clean up - you pong."