Angelo and Fred (BACKDATED to Jan 27)
Jan. 27th, 2013 07:45 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
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Angelo helps the rusty Fred and getting as presentable as the large mutant can manage.
Fred opened the door to his room for Angelo, nodding to him and letting him in. He had told his older friend about Yvette and what had happened. Amazingly, Angelo hadn't seemed likely to kill him...though he may have been lulling his chubby victim into a false sense of security. If so, it was a lost cause: Fred was pretty anxious to begin with, "Hey Jello. Ah, uh, yah didn't have tah come by or nuthin, Ah just..."
"Sure I did", Angelo said matter-of-factly, but grinning. "If I left you to it, you'd be going on a date in one of those old T-shirts you love so much."
Fred looked indignant, jerking a thumb at a pile of dark tshirts he had on his bed. "What's wrong with mah shirts? Ah got plenty of black ones. Black's formal, ain't it?"
"A black shirt is formal", was the patient response. "A nice one. With buttons. You can bet Yvette's got her girls getting her all prettied up, you want to match her, don't you?"
Fred rubbed his temples, "Prettied up...? Yah gotta be kiddin me. Tha hell have Ah got mahself into...?" Fred reached into his Clean Laundy Pile, and pulled up a black plaid flannel button up, "Way ahead of yah. Got a black shirt. 'S got buttons and shit..."
"You're taking a girl out on her very first date ever, not to mention your first date together", Angelo reminded him with some amusement. "I'm not gonna make you wear a suit, it's not a job interview, but you've got to look smart." He eyed the shirt critically. "I guess it'll do, still a little bit casual but she knows your taste already and it'd be hard to find a better one that fits you on this notice... so, pants next."
"That's a lot easier."Fred reache into his closet. Out came a worn and ripped pair or oil and grease covered jeans, a pair of brown work pants that weren't dirty, a pair of sweatpants and the bottom half of his trainee uniform. Fred looked at Angelo, to the pile, and back. He scratched the back of his head, "Ah, uh, only own like four pairs of pants..."
"Good enough for most guys", Angelo agreed. The jeans and sweatpants were rejected and thrown back into the closet immediately, leaving only the other two. "OK, I don't think leather pants is really the image we're going for here, so it'll have to be these. Black shirt and brown pants go together well enough, I think."
Fred frowned a little, "Those are tha closest thing Ah got tah church pants, an Ah don't even go tah church. Ah can't just...wear these?" He points at the relatively stain-free jeans he was wearing.
"Fred. Buddy. Don't make me go and get Adrienne in here."
Angelo may as well have threatened Fred with lobotomy, "Yah wouldn't do that tah me again. Yah don't have that much evil in yah."
"Then do what your uncle Angelo tells you and wear the church pants", he said firmly. "Jeans might be OK for the future, the clean ones anyway, but not for a nice restaurant. You are taking her to a nice restaurant, right?"
"Okay, for one? Never call yourself Uncle Angelo tah me ever again. Serious. Gave me tha jibblies. For two, what counts as a nice restaurant? There's an Italian joint next to the Drive-In couple ah miles out. Ah mean, Ah'm sure it's clean..." Fred scratched his head. Apparently, he was the worst dater in mutant history...
Angelo laughed, then stopped laughing and facepalmed.
"...maybe you should just let Yvette pick where you go."
Fred threw up his arms, doing his best Muppet impersonation, "Ah don't know how tah do this, Jello! Not now, not with Callie, not with..." Fred trailed off, "look, point is Ah suck ass at datin, man. It ain't Mah strong suit, Ah guess..."
"The thing you've gotta remember", Angelo told him more reassuringly, "is just be you. Yvette knows who you are and likes that, or we wouldn't be here. It's not like it's a blind date. The other thing is you've got to treat her like the most important person in the world. The rest is window dressing, and I can help with that."
"Ah can't just be me, Angelo. Ah'm crude, huge, Ah have bad taste, dumb, and fairly borin'."
"And brave, loyal, and you care about her", Angelo countered, meeting his friend's eyes dead on. "She knows you, Fred, good and bad, and you can't be anybody else."
Fred sighed, and pulled a rabbits foot keychain from a bowl of keys on his nightstand, "Wish Ah was. Most others got more to their name than a couple of old Chevys an, like, 200 tshirts."
"You don't think she cares about that? Seriously?" He sighed. "Fred... you got a steady job, a roof over your head, and Yvette's never been the social climbing type."
Fred looked serious for a moment, before snorting, genuinely overtaken by laughter, "Jello, Ah work at a secret mutant commando base, as a secret mutant commando, an occasional janitor. And the roof over my head is the roof to a secret mutant commando base ! Ah can't exactly say this is just the usual set-up folks have...!"
Angelo stuck his tongue out. "You know what I meant. Anyway, she's right there with you in the secret mutant commando stuff. Easier than trying to date someone from outside."
Fred grinned at Angelo's tongue, holding the key up for his friend to inspect, "What do yah think: take the Bel-Air? She runs fine now, but Ah hadn't fixed the paint or the chrome yet..."
"Yeah, go for it", Angelo decided. "It's clean inside and the seats are in one piece, she'll do fine."
Fred nodded, walking into the bathroom with what passes as his nice clothing, "Gimmie some ideas, man? Ah know some nice places tah eat that Ah took Callie to, but Ah could use some ideas..."
"Do you know what kind of food Yvette likes? Maybe Albanian, there's bound to be a place in the city that serves it. A little taste of home for her."
Fred's voice came with a mild panic out of the bathroom, "Ah...Albanian...? Ah got no idea, man. That sumthin Ah could google...?"
"I'll take care of it", Angelo promised reassuringly. "Get you a reservation and everything. And I promise not to pick anywhere too fancy."
Fred came out of the bathroom, trying (and spectacularly failing) to tie a red tie under the collar of his flannel shirt, "Ah, uh...damn!... uh, Ah appreciate it, Jello..." Somehow, he managed to tie his finger into the tie, "Dammit, these things are built the be impossible...!"
"Come here." He unfastened the tie and began redoing it. "I got used to this years ago,you learn... why do you even own a tie?"
Fred did his best not to fidget, "...Mah Uncle Frank told me always be ready for a funeral. Same reason ah got anythin close tah church pants. Morbid, but...uh, Frank's an odd guy..."
"Not a bad idea with the lives we live", Angelo said distractedly, then stepped back. "There we go."
Fred thumbed at the tie, doing his damnedest to only loosen it a little and not remove it entirely. "Thanks, Jello. Ah really appreciate the, uh...well...all of it, Ah guess..."
"You can pay me back later with something you're good at", he answered cheerfully. "Or call it payback for Africa, if you like."
Fred grunted a little at the mention of Africa, "Ah'll...no repayment needed. Ah'll help yah with you're car, or somethin..."
"It's a deal."
Fred opened the door to his room for Angelo, nodding to him and letting him in. He had told his older friend about Yvette and what had happened. Amazingly, Angelo hadn't seemed likely to kill him...though he may have been lulling his chubby victim into a false sense of security. If so, it was a lost cause: Fred was pretty anxious to begin with, "Hey Jello. Ah, uh, yah didn't have tah come by or nuthin, Ah just..."
"Sure I did", Angelo said matter-of-factly, but grinning. "If I left you to it, you'd be going on a date in one of those old T-shirts you love so much."
Fred looked indignant, jerking a thumb at a pile of dark tshirts he had on his bed. "What's wrong with mah shirts? Ah got plenty of black ones. Black's formal, ain't it?"
"A black shirt is formal", was the patient response. "A nice one. With buttons. You can bet Yvette's got her girls getting her all prettied up, you want to match her, don't you?"
Fred rubbed his temples, "Prettied up...? Yah gotta be kiddin me. Tha hell have Ah got mahself into...?" Fred reached into his Clean Laundy Pile, and pulled up a black plaid flannel button up, "Way ahead of yah. Got a black shirt. 'S got buttons and shit..."
"You're taking a girl out on her very first date ever, not to mention your first date together", Angelo reminded him with some amusement. "I'm not gonna make you wear a suit, it's not a job interview, but you've got to look smart." He eyed the shirt critically. "I guess it'll do, still a little bit casual but she knows your taste already and it'd be hard to find a better one that fits you on this notice... so, pants next."
"That's a lot easier."Fred reache into his closet. Out came a worn and ripped pair or oil and grease covered jeans, a pair of brown work pants that weren't dirty, a pair of sweatpants and the bottom half of his trainee uniform. Fred looked at Angelo, to the pile, and back. He scratched the back of his head, "Ah, uh, only own like four pairs of pants..."
"Good enough for most guys", Angelo agreed. The jeans and sweatpants were rejected and thrown back into the closet immediately, leaving only the other two. "OK, I don't think leather pants is really the image we're going for here, so it'll have to be these. Black shirt and brown pants go together well enough, I think."
Fred frowned a little, "Those are tha closest thing Ah got tah church pants, an Ah don't even go tah church. Ah can't just...wear these?" He points at the relatively stain-free jeans he was wearing.
"Fred. Buddy. Don't make me go and get Adrienne in here."
Angelo may as well have threatened Fred with lobotomy, "Yah wouldn't do that tah me again. Yah don't have that much evil in yah."
"Then do what your uncle Angelo tells you and wear the church pants", he said firmly. "Jeans might be OK for the future, the clean ones anyway, but not for a nice restaurant. You are taking her to a nice restaurant, right?"
"Okay, for one? Never call yourself Uncle Angelo tah me ever again. Serious. Gave me tha jibblies. For two, what counts as a nice restaurant? There's an Italian joint next to the Drive-In couple ah miles out. Ah mean, Ah'm sure it's clean..." Fred scratched his head. Apparently, he was the worst dater in mutant history...
Angelo laughed, then stopped laughing and facepalmed.
"...maybe you should just let Yvette pick where you go."
Fred threw up his arms, doing his best Muppet impersonation, "Ah don't know how tah do this, Jello! Not now, not with Callie, not with..." Fred trailed off, "look, point is Ah suck ass at datin, man. It ain't Mah strong suit, Ah guess..."
"The thing you've gotta remember", Angelo told him more reassuringly, "is just be you. Yvette knows who you are and likes that, or we wouldn't be here. It's not like it's a blind date. The other thing is you've got to treat her like the most important person in the world. The rest is window dressing, and I can help with that."
"Ah can't just be me, Angelo. Ah'm crude, huge, Ah have bad taste, dumb, and fairly borin'."
"And brave, loyal, and you care about her", Angelo countered, meeting his friend's eyes dead on. "She knows you, Fred, good and bad, and you can't be anybody else."
Fred sighed, and pulled a rabbits foot keychain from a bowl of keys on his nightstand, "Wish Ah was. Most others got more to their name than a couple of old Chevys an, like, 200 tshirts."
"You don't think she cares about that? Seriously?" He sighed. "Fred... you got a steady job, a roof over your head, and Yvette's never been the social climbing type."
Fred looked serious for a moment, before snorting, genuinely overtaken by laughter, "Jello, Ah work at a secret mutant commando base, as a secret mutant commando, an occasional janitor. And the roof over my head is the roof to a secret mutant commando base ! Ah can't exactly say this is just the usual set-up folks have...!"
Angelo stuck his tongue out. "You know what I meant. Anyway, she's right there with you in the secret mutant commando stuff. Easier than trying to date someone from outside."
Fred grinned at Angelo's tongue, holding the key up for his friend to inspect, "What do yah think: take the Bel-Air? She runs fine now, but Ah hadn't fixed the paint or the chrome yet..."
"Yeah, go for it", Angelo decided. "It's clean inside and the seats are in one piece, she'll do fine."
Fred nodded, walking into the bathroom with what passes as his nice clothing, "Gimmie some ideas, man? Ah know some nice places tah eat that Ah took Callie to, but Ah could use some ideas..."
"Do you know what kind of food Yvette likes? Maybe Albanian, there's bound to be a place in the city that serves it. A little taste of home for her."
Fred's voice came with a mild panic out of the bathroom, "Ah...Albanian...? Ah got no idea, man. That sumthin Ah could google...?"
"I'll take care of it", Angelo promised reassuringly. "Get you a reservation and everything. And I promise not to pick anywhere too fancy."
Fred came out of the bathroom, trying (and spectacularly failing) to tie a red tie under the collar of his flannel shirt, "Ah, uh...damn!... uh, Ah appreciate it, Jello..." Somehow, he managed to tie his finger into the tie, "Dammit, these things are built the be impossible...!"
"Come here." He unfastened the tie and began redoing it. "I got used to this years ago,you learn... why do you even own a tie?"
Fred did his best not to fidget, "...Mah Uncle Frank told me always be ready for a funeral. Same reason ah got anythin close tah church pants. Morbid, but...uh, Frank's an odd guy..."
"Not a bad idea with the lives we live", Angelo said distractedly, then stepped back. "There we go."
Fred thumbed at the tie, doing his damnedest to only loosen it a little and not remove it entirely. "Thanks, Jello. Ah really appreciate the, uh...well...all of it, Ah guess..."
"You can pay me back later with something you're good at", he answered cheerfully. "Or call it payback for Africa, if you like."
Fred grunted a little at the mention of Africa, "Ah'll...no repayment needed. Ah'll help yah with you're car, or somethin..."
"It's a deal."