Jean and Hope: Saturday Afternoon

[x-jeangrey.livejournal.com]

After a discussion with Scott, Jean goes to Hope to apologize.

Potential Trigger Warning in Relation to Loss of a Child




It had taken a few moments, but after moving her favorite stuffed chair around somewhat Hope was nestled in exactly the right position to catch most of the wintery sun, while it didn't hinder her reading the pages. School, violin and powers training might not give her the time to pull another all nighter, but the final work of Robert Jordan and Brandon Sanderson deserved another read through. Even is she still secretly disagreed with them in the decision to kill Egwene and Gawyn.

A knock sounded on the sun room door, as Jean poked her head in. "Mind if I come in?" she said. While it was a public room she felt like it was more polite, given she was the only one in the room.

It took a little while for her to get to Hope, not because she had to find her---she usually knew where everyone was--it was mostly because she had to work up the nerve. She was getting there. Being able to speak to her again in the first place showed progress. She found ironic that she could talk to foreign dignitaries with ease and had trouble with a 15 year old girl.

Hope looked up from her book, her eyes widening slightly. "Of course not, Dr. Grey-Summers." She quickly placed a small mark in the book before putting it down on a side table table and standing up. She had not really spoken to the red-haired doctor since the strange incident in the hallways at night and after she had spoken with Ms. Frost nothing had been mentioned about it. "Is there anything I can assist you with, ma'am?"

Jean slipped into the room and leaned against one of the nearby couches, glancing around.

"I used to study in here when I was your age too," she said. She liked to find the interesting places, places that she didn't get bored in. She had secret places everywhere and knew the mansion almost as well as Charles did. Almost. There were still some places she suspected he knew of that he didn't tell anyone about.

She nodded to the chair. "Please, you can sit back down if you'd like. I felt like we needed to talk. I wanted to...apologize for my earlier behavior."

"I think it is me who should apologize, Dr. Grey-Summers. I think I was the one who really startled you. I assure you that wasn't my intention." Hope replied after she sat down, crossing her ankles and folding her hands neatly in her lap. She tilted her head a little, trying to figure out why the doctor had approached her. "Did I truly startle you that badly, ma'am?" She ventured a little hesitantly.

After a moment or two, Jean pulled up a chair and sank into it. Towering over the girl was probably not going to put her at ease so she wanted to get more on her level.

"It's not your fault," Jean said, quietly at first, then with more resonance, and assurance, in an attempt to get the both of them to believe. Because it wasn't her fault.

She lowered her eyes, brushing a few strands of hair behind one ear.

"I know you didn't mean it. I do. You just... remind of...something that happened. Something I had been trying to come to terms with, and spent most of my time avoiding. So when I saw you....it surprised me more than I anticipated. And I ran away, which is not fair to you. And which is why I wanted to say I was sorry for putting you in that position."

She reminded the doctor of something that had happened? Hope strongly got the idea that it was something bad, but she had learned in her time in the mansion that many people who lived here each carried their own set of scars. Her fellow students stories of Genosha and what had happened there had shown that much to her.

"Thank you, Dr. Grey-Summers." Hope nodded politely. "Not just the apology, but also for the trouble of coming to find me." She didn't quite know what else to say and bit her lip a little. Or... she did know what she wanted to say but it was so presumptuous...

"You're welcome," Jean said. She realized it was hazy but she didn't want to make the girl uncomfortable. She studied Hope for a moment, there were unspoken words brimming behind her eyes.

"You can talk to me," she said gently, tilting her head.

Hope's eyes drifted downward, her gaze firmly fixed on her hands, searching for words as she tried to express what she wish to convey. Finally she asked hesitantly: "Was it something in particular I did, ma'am? I could try to desist if that would be of assistance?"

Jean blinked at her, quickly leaning forward to get a bit closer as she shook her head.

"No. No, it's nothing you did at all," she said. She reached out, hesitating for a moment, but gave in as she squeezed her hand.

"Honestly. You don't need to do anything differently. And please, call me Jean. Or...Doc...Or Hey You....whichever." She smiled.

She looked up, a surprised look in her eyes, as Jean squeezed her hand. "Thank you..." Hope searched for a suitable form of address for a moment. "... Dr. Jean." Addressing adults without proper honorifics still made her uneasy, but she quickly returned the smile. "I am glad that... things are better. I did not mean to intrude when I went to Ms. Frost, but I was worried."

Jean nodded. "It's okay. I know it must've been hard to say something. And I'm....glad you did," she said. Would she have apologized if Scott hadn't come to her? Eventually. It probably would've taken a lot more time, though.

"Well," she said, rising. "I'd better let you get back to reading. I need to do some grading."

Hope smiled a little as she chanced a small joke: "Good luck. I hope the stack is not too high."

"It is...a little," Jean allowed with a slow nod, then laughed. "Okay, a lot. I suppose I should go a little easier on you guys. But learning is important."

"I have met quite a few people who enjoy learning, but I do not believe I have ever met someone who is fond of taking tests." Hope ventured a little further, even though she did not want to delay the doctor too much.

"I think that's a given. I didn't either when I was your age. But....it's one of the ways you learn," Jean said. She supposed the same thing was to be said about life lessons as well.

She smiled. "I'll see you Monday," she added, then headed for the door.

"Till Monday." Hope picked up her book, but she didn't open it yet. "Good luck with grading, Doctor."

Jean paused in the doorway, soft smile lingering as she gave her a nod.

"Thank you," she said, then slipped out. It had felt like climbing a mountain, but it was progress.