Ritualistic Hazing

[x-pinnochio.livejournal.com]

Maddie catches Frank at an awkward moment!

The suite was empty when Frank sank down onto the couch, clad in boxer shorts and a t-shirt and nothing else. A copy of Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail sat half open next to him, and he started to leaf through it half-heartedly. It had been a long day- as all first days are- and all he wanted was a little peace and privacy. His book was a welcome relief.

But peace and privacy were in short supply within the walls of Xavier's mansion, a reality which Frank was quickly faced with as the door to his suite flung open. "Clint!" The red haired intruder bellowed as she swept in. Matt's room was soundproofed enough that she didn't feel bad raising her voice so much, and even if he did hear her, these were extenuating circumstances. "Hey jackass. You have my... book."

At the sight of someone other than the suite's regular occupants, however, Maddie's voice trailed off and her approach stopped. Brow furrowed in befuddlement and thought, she eyed the stranger warily as if trying to decide her feelings on the situation. This, obviously, must be the new kid. But the suite was full up. She really hoped he hadn't killed Billy or Clint for their bed.

"Who're you?"

Frank did not quite jump and Maddie entered on a metaphorical tide of sound and fury and a literal pair of legs. Neither (to his credit) did he squeal girlishly. It was more of a manly grunt. He stared (or perhaps more accurately squinted) at her, before rising slowly, walking into the kitchen and putting his glasses on.

"I'm going to turn around now," he said. "When I do, we're going to pretend I'm not wearing no pants. Does that work for you? Because if it doesn't, I really don't see how this conversation is going to continue."

"One cannot unsee the sight of such lovely legs," Maddie teased, leaning on the couch and watching his retreat. "Really. That is like asking a zombie to turn away from the scent of untainted flesh. It is to deny unto to me that which cannot by nature be denied."

"You still didn't answer my question: Who're you?"

"I'm Frank. I'm the new guy. This is not normally how I make my first impressions." He was NOT blushing, damn it. Neither was he hiding behind the counter. "Okay. So that's me out of the way. Who are you? Besides the crazy chick who just kicked in my front door and scared the poor pantsless tree man?"

With a flick of her wrist Maddie dismissed the reference to Frank's pantsless state constituted a bad first impression. He was wearing boxers and a shirt, probably his sleep clothes, which was fairly innocuous by Xavier's standards. But focusing on the new kid's attire was a total snooze fest. Now, the "tree man" comment, well that piqued Maddie's interest enough to inquire further.

"Tree man," she sounded incredulous, and rightly so, since the boy before her looked definitely humanoid. "What? Is that some thinly veiled reference to your" airquotes "'wood'?" Her eyes pointedly traveled to his crotch and back up again, eyebrows raised in question.

Frank cursed internally. God damn it, he really needed to learn how to shut up- or at least start censoring what he said. "No, I try not to insert references to my penis into everyday conversation. It tends to lower the tone." How to change the topic, how to change the topic... ah. Yes. "You want a drink or something? I think we have juice in the fridge." Hopefully she'd back off.

The redhead snorted in amusement. "Must not be anything worth talking about then," she deadpanned with a shrug. This boy was way too easy to get riled up. She probably shouldn't be having as much fun embarrassing him as she was, but he was making it so easy. "Most guys I know like to brag about how awesome their package is."

Okay. That was the last of it. She was not supposed to torture the new kids. "No thanks on the beverage. I'm just here looking for Clint. And my book."

Frank relaxed a little. "Well, last I checked Clint wasn't around. I could go look, if you want." He paused, realising he was still without pants, and then sighed. "Or possibly I could get some jeans or something first. Hang on." He moved strategically around the counter to minimise the possibility of... exposure... and wandered into the spare room, returning after a moment clad in a pair of tracksuit bottoms and socks. "Never got your name, by the way."

"Power of technology." Maddie glanced up and held her cell phone aloft. "We'd be lost without them." She smiled and continued on as she made her way to the doorway. "Sent him a text message. It's just easier to check here first instead of going on a wild goose chase. But I got a location now, so I'm going to go harass him and let you enjoy pantsless time."

"Nice meet you Frank. See you around."