Frank and Sue: Ruminations on a Prank War

[x-pinnochio.livejournal.com]

In which Sue talks about her family and Frank emphatically doesn't.

The rec room on the second floor was Frank’s second favourite place in Xaviers. The first was the library, but there was only so
long he could hang around in there before he went a little crazy. Besides, he was still recovering from that Holi thing. Could you get PTSD from coloured powder and cackling students?

This was Frank’s train of thought as he thumbed idly through the DVD collection. Solitude is a strange beast.

"You realize you're actually going to have to choose a DVD right? The right movie isn't just going to jump out at you, well not unless someone hid some springs back there I don't know about," Sue commented from the doorway, "That's not your plan is it? hide a spring trap to surprise the next poor unfortunate soul who gets a hankering to watch a movie?" The blonde had originally come to the rec room looking for somewhere quiet she could relax after the weekend. She would have tried the library, but it was just so crowded these days.

Frank turned to look over his shoulder, pointedly not sighing in annoyance. He couldn't afford to keep being so ludicrously misanthropic towards his new schoolmates. Besides- cute girl. "It wasn't until you suggested it," he said by way of greeting. "Now I'm gonna have to. What do you think I should rig first, the Lord of the Rings extended editions or Batman Begins?"

"Ah, one of the truly deep questions of life. Up there with who am I, and why are we,here," Sue replied with a grin. "Why choose? You could set up a trap with both of them. After all if you have two times the pranks then you get two times the fun," she pointed out. "And if you get lucky think of hte awesome one two combo you could hit someone with."

"Oh, don't worry, I'm going to. I'm just going to do it slowly. First, one DVD. Poor Mr Haller gets a close-up view of Aragorn's chiseled jaw. Then next week Casablanca starts a beautiful friendship with his face. Weeks pass. He can no longer enter this place without the fear of movie-related mishaps. His every second is spent in fear. THEN... we rig one in his office." Frank smirked. "Then again, I could be overthinking it."

"You realize you're talking about perhaps one of the most imperturbable men I've even met," Sue pointed out with a laugh, "and I've met generals and politicians. You really don't set your sights low do you?" The blonde stopped and considered the DVD collection. "On the other hand that might not be a bad thing, something like that would make you a legend around here if you actually managed to prank one of the staff and get a reaction. Frank the woodboy, legendary pranker of Xavier's school. Has a nice ring to it don't you think?" she teased.

"Frank the Treeman, Sue. Frank the God-Damned Treeman," he replied, grinning to take the sting out of it. "So. Politicians and generals, huh? Your life is clearly a lot more interesting then mine." He filed the stuff about Mr. Haller away for future reference. His teachers had been an interesting bunch so far; clearly this one was no exception.

"Treeman, woodboy, it's all the same," Sue countered waving her hand dismissively, a teasing smile playing across her lips. "besides trees have leaves and roots. Last time I checked you were distinctly un-entlike. Unless you're trying to tell me you're actually hundreds of years old and can never agree on anything, or you know do anything fast." The teenager shrugged, "Well my dad's life is interesting enough anyway. I just kinda tag along."

"Tagging along can be interesting. Hunter S. Thompson tagged along with the Hell's Angels, and he got a freakin' pullitzer for it, man." A beat. "Okay, I don't know if that's true, but it so should be." He sat down, grinning at her. "And I am SO Entlike. Maybe not so much the facial hair made out of leaves, or the ridiculous age, but I have the argument stuff down. Seriously. Read my essays some time, it's just me screaming at the teacher."

"You've never tagged along to a business meeting have you?" the girl pointed out with a grimace, "Old men sitting around arguing over money. Ok the stuff they were...haggling...over is pretty interesting; and getting what you want does have a charm to it but still..." Sue collapsed onto the couch and grimaced, "It's really boring when you're just sitting there watching." She grinned and examined Frank's face carefully, "Facial hair made out of leaves? What facial hair?"

"Exactly! No facial hair at all, of any description! Just the arguing bit." He grinned again. "I'll take your word for it about the business meetings. I try to avoid anything that ludicrously boring on health grounds. So." He turned to survey the DVD collection. "Before we prank the hell out of everyone, what do you wanna watch? Gotta be something worth looking at."

"You argumentative? Never, you're as meek and mild as a newborn lamb. Although a lamb probably has more facial hair than you do," Sue replied innocently. "You're allergic to boring then?" the girl asked as she curled up on the couch, "I'll watch anything apart from a horror movie. Although if it's there I vote Tangled. and if you even think about setting a trap on that movie I swear I'll exact a cruel and terrible revenge."

"Sure. Tell me what to aim for. That'll work out well." He smirked over his shoulder at her. "We have Tangled, in any case." He took the aforementioned movie and slapped it into the DVD player. "You enjoy this, Sue. You enjoy this little oasis of safety. I'm sure you're not going to get pranked to hell from here on in." Frank grinned his evil grin.

Sue arched an eyebrow as she gave Frank an amused look, "I have a little brother whose every waking hour was spent dreaming up ways to torture people and I can honestly tell you I'm shaking in fear over here." The blonde held up a steady hand, "See, totally terrified."

"Dude. I had a big brother. That is so much worse. It's like a little brother, but with power and physical body strength." He smirked, watching the opening credits role. "Besides. Your brother didn't live in a mansions full of hormonal super-powered people. Gives me so many more opportunities."

"More opportunities for you to get your ass kicked?" Sue asked with a grin. "Older siblings always hold back; they wanna be responsible and grown up, They have to look after their younger siblings." she pointed out. "I mean I could have set up exploding ketchup, or switch out his cutlery so it melts, But I would never do anything like that...to my brother."

"Hah! Typical older sibling rhetoric! Y'all can say you look out for us all you want. We are SO just your metaphorical punching bags." He smirked a little as he said that. "After all. I'd dust my brother's sock drawer with itching powder any day. Or maybe flipped the background on his laptop so he spends the next week trying to figure out how to make the damn thing work. How hard would it be to do to someone else?"

That got a laugh out of Sue, "Me use someone as a punching bag? Please have you met me," she objected. "I'd never beat someone up, it's so much more my speed to get them to do it themselves. Or get someone else to do it for me. Isn't that what we keep you around for?" she asked with a teasing grin. "You messed with his laptop?" Sue shook her head, "Why are younger brothers always so evil?" she asked rhetorically.

"Because older brothers are just as bad and older sisters are worse. You bring us up scary, we're gonna be scary!" He sat back, watching the film for a bit. "Besides, I'm sure it's all just a subconscious plea for your attention. We're all just Freud's playthings, you know?" Another pause. "...How come her hair isn't ludicrously dirty? I mean, all that time in the tower. Shouldn't she have prehensile dreadlocks?"

I think it's got to be some kinda super power, her hair probably repels dirt and leaves and stuff. Well either that or I really really wanna know what shampoo she uses. I mean she's using her hair as a rope, it must be full of split ends." Sue turned to look at Frank, "It's your parents job to bring you up not your siblings. We have enough problems, it's not fair to expect us to raise you ontop of everything." the girl sighed and turned back to the TV. "But since when has life been fair." she muttered.

"Fucking preach it, sister." Frank sat back in the couch, and looked at her. "Still. Could be worse. Gotta be worse things out there then family, right?" But how true was that, he wondered? He hadn't heard from his own brother for years. God knows families could be rough.

Sue stopped to consider that for a moment, "I don't know about that, I guess it depends on the family. If someone wants to hurt you that's a few minutes of pain, but a family can leave you with years and years of pain to deal with. And that's not really an even comparison for the most part."

"I guess," said Frank, looking at her sidelong. This was a little deeper then he thought this conversation was going to be. They sat in silence for a moment. Then, "You okay?"

Sue gave a small shrug, "Yeah, I'm over it," she grimaced as she realized her previous outburst gave lie to that., "ok, so maybe almost over it." Sue gave Frank a small smile, "Welcome to Xavier's, home to kids with messed up families. I really shouldn't complain, I never wanted for anything growing up, but sometimes that not enough. You kinda feel just like a princess trapped in a tower," she noted nodding at the TV.

Frank looked away. "Yeah," he said, eventually. "That's... yeah." An uncomfortable silence fell for a moment. "I'm sorry, I can't really- this is the part where we share, right?" he muttered, abruptly changing tack. "I get that. We've all got scars, even before we turned out to be mutants. But I can't- I'm sorry. It's just personal stuff." He stared at the TV fiercely, avoiding eye-contact. "I'm sorry."

Sue smiled sadly at Frank, "You don't have to talk about it if it makes you uncomfortable," she noted. "I don't wanna push you or anything, but if you ever wanna talk?" she offered turning back to the screen.

"Yeah. I'll... well, I guess maybe it'd be Angel first. She got me to promise by setting a ferret on me. But after that, you, I swear." He managed a grin that's not altogether forced. "I may possibly just demand we get really drunk, though. Fair warning."

"So then you've already met the furry twin terrors of the mansion," Sue observed with a laugh, "It's pretty hard to say no when she pulls them out, it's her secret weapon in the ongoing fight against teenagers. It's pretty much effective on everyone they meet, even if they do end up stealing anything shiny they see."

He grinned again, a little more easily this time. "I was warned about their kleptomania, yeah. Seems kinda like they've got some sparrow in their genepool. You know, for shinies?" He turned back to the movie. "...Damn cute, though."

"It's like a rite of passage," Sue commented, "you're not truly one of us until you're suffered through an attack of the furry shiny stealers." She turned to Frank and grinned, "So you made sure that all your valuables to tightly locked away right? I mean those two can squeeze through the smallest gaps to get to something they want."

"Uh huh. Locked up, hidden, and in some cases dulled with boot polish. There will be no ferreting of my shinies. Little furry bitches aren't as cunning as me!"

"You mean those empty dull cases I saw lying outside your suite on the way here?" Sue asked, "The one's with scratches all over the broken locks?"

"Ah hah! They fell for my decoys!"

"Your decoys? Have you considered you're putting too much thought into how to out-think 2 furry rodents?" Sue asked with a grin.

"Hell no! Have you met those little guys? Defending my shinies from them is the most fun I've had in years! Besides," he said, turning to Sue, "what else am I gonna do?"

"The most fun you've had in years?" Sue echoes in amazement, "Wow, you must really have been bored before you arrived at the mansion." The girl shook her head and smiled, "You get that there is a whole town out there, and like the biggest city in the world less than an hour away right? You should never run out of things to do around here. Besides if someone hears you say that you'll probably pick up chores or extra classes."

"Hence my ongoing battle with Slinkie and Twinkie. Sooooo much easier then actually doing anything!" Frank sat up, and considered. "So. We're half way through this movie, and we have had no snacks. This must be remedied. Come to the kitchen?"

"Why Mr Ludlum," Sue said turning to Frank with a smile, "That might be the smartest idea anyone has said all night."