xp_logs | Sooraya and Sam

Wrestling with her faith and Angelo recent revelations, she seeks out someone who might be able to help her figure things out.

How about that? Why was it always when you were puzzling about things, you ran into something that could be seen as a sign. Sooraya tilted her head as she saw Sam sitting at the table with what she suspected was a large pile of History homework. She had planned on emailing him, figuring he might be willing to talk to her.

But out right approaching him was not the way she worked, though it's didn't stop her from pulling out one of her college texts and settling in close by to study.

Sam was in fact researching some information for an English assignment he was preparing. He'd been steadily pulling back from his teaching obligations, as per his discussions with the Professor and his increasing work with Angelo's X-Corps project, but he still hadn't finished teaching completely.

When Sooraya approached the table and sat down nearby, he looked up and smiled. "Hey there, Sooraya. How are you doin'?"

"Oh hey Sam." She quickly held up her text book. "I have to do some wresting with Intro to Economy. It's proving to be some rather dry material." Sooraya continued as she pulled out her notebook where she had been outlining the text in a multitude of colors.

"Ahhh, economics, yeah, I can see how that might be the case, heh." It wasn't exactly his cup of tea, but to each their own. "You'll get through it though, just stick with it." There wasn't much else he could offer in the way of advice, sadly, though he was confident Sooraya would be ok. "How's everything else going, other than havin' to trudge through Economics readings?"

"Rather busy, but that is not so different from normal. And I seriously think Mr. Summers despairs of me even getting the basics down of the Blackbird." She blushed a little at the memories of her adventures in the simulator.

"Ahh, yeah, it's not easy to learn but I'm sure you'll do just fine," replied Sam with a grin. "'Sides, flying's a lot more fun than studying at least, in my humble yet biased opinion, anyway. Glad to hear things are going all right with you, then, by the sound of it, that's good."

"I hope I get the hang of it eventually. I mean, one day I should theoretically stop crashing it." Sooraya muttered, shaking her head ruefully. She paused for a moment, literally having no idea how to breach the topic she wanted to ask him about, her eyes flitting back and forth between her textbook and Sam.

"You will, I'm sure of it." Sam said, nodding confidently. "It just takes a lot of practice, is all, but all the hard work will pay off in the end. Kinda like a lot of things in life, I suppose." he added thoughtfully. The movement of her eyes hadn't escaped him, and he paused for a second before continuing. "Anything else on your mind that I can help you with by any chance?"

Busted... Sooraya sighed. "Actually, there is. Do you think we could perhaps find a slightly more private place to talk?" She remembered Angelo's words about not wanting the whole mansion to know yet, though she was sure he would not object to her talking if she was working out her... issues. But that still didn't mean she wanted to discuss it in a place where everyone could overhear.

"Oh, sure, if you'd like." He wasn't in the middle of anything important, certainly nothing that couldn't wait anyway if she needed to talk about something in private. Marking his place in a book with his pen, Sam shut the text and got to his feet, ready to follow Sooraya to somewhere they could talk.

Sooraya guided them to the sun room, hoping there wouldn't be anyone at this time. The students were all in class and most of the other mansion inhabitants were either working or away. After taking a seat, she stared at her hands for a moment. "It's kinda personal though..." She started hesitantly.

"That's ok, I won't tell anyone, promise." Sam gave Sooraya the old Boy Scout salute as he took a seat opposite her. Given her statement that it was something personal he assumed it wouldn't be information of the mandatory reporting variety, at least, but he'd cross that bridge if they got there, which hopefully they wouldn't have to cross. He sat back in his chair, letting Sooraya put her question together in her own time and words.

"Recently a... friend of mine told me he is dating someone of the same sex." Sooraya started hesitantly. "My faith... very strongly disapproves of this... and I am finding this difficult to deal with."

"Ahh, I see." Sam took that in, carefully thinking of what to say before replying. "That does sound like it can be difficult to deal with, when your religion disapproves of such a thing. I know, I've been there." It had been something he'd struggled with personally as well, given his own feelings and experiences in the past along with his religious upbringing. "Your faith disapproves, but what do you think yourself, Sooraya? Outside of the context of religion, I mean."

"It just... feels wrong..." Sooraya's voice trailed off, not quite sure how to explain herself. "But how much of that is me and how much is my faith.... For me it's all interwoven and I don't know how to separate the two."

"It's tough to know sometimes, I can relate to that." Sam replied. "The important thing to remember, in my humble opinion anyway, whether your disapproval stems from personal reasons, religious ones, or a combination of them, is to be respectful about it. Everyone's entitled to their own views and beliefs, but not to force 'em on anyone else, you know?" He shifted in his seat, closing the book he'd opened for the time being. "That being said, it can be hard to figure out how to separate those things, if you even can. And that's something you'll have to figure out for yourself, I think. Which, heh, isn't much help to you, I'm afraid, but something like that takes time and reflection to wrap your head around, I reckon."

Sooraya nodded thoughtfully. "I have found a book or two about what my faith teaches about it. But it all confirms what I had heard before... Can I ask how you managed to make peace with... this?"

"You can, yeah, but I dunno if I can explain it." He shrugged as he shifted in his seat. "Not that I don't want to, mind, but it's just... difficult. It took a lot of thinkin', and reflectin', things other people can't really help you with, I suppose." There was also some personal experiences in his own past but he wasn't about to mention those, and besides, Sam figured, that counted as more of the private reflecting at any rate.

"I also looked what the Bible said about the topic... It seemed fairly definite answer to the question if it's a good or a bad thing... Did you just put that to the side?"

"I kinda had to I guess, yeah, along with a lot of other things that the Bible says, heh." Sam rubbed the back of his head as he thought of how to best phrase things. "It's a complicated situation, I suppose, and there's a lot of conflicting information, both, you now, in things like the Bible, and in your own experiences and thoughts."

"Doesn't Christianity teach that the Bible is the word of God? How can someone put that to the side?" Sooraya finally aired the question that had her quite worried.

"Because things have changed. I mean, if we were to follow word for word what's in the Bible, uh." Sam scratched the back of his head some more. "There's a lot of stuff there that's just not applicable today, I don't think. In my mind, I just try to follow the main message of it, you know? The Golden Rule, trying to be a good person, the most important parts. Or, rather, what are the most important parts to me, which gets back to it all being subjective, I suppose."

"Can you just pick and choose? Doesn't defeat that the whole point?"

"You could argue that, I suppose. There's a lot of inconsistencies in there, though, so in some cases you have no choice but to pick and choose. It's kinda complicated, I guess."

"It often is... Would be nice if it weren't sometimes?" Sooraya muttered as she thought over what Sam had said. The idea of picking and choosing went against some of the most important keystones she had been taught. "You really think we are supposed to pick and choose?"

"Your guess is as good as mine, heh." Sam grinned, shrugging a little. "I can only speak as to my own experiences, and my own religion, I suppose. I think the important thing is that you do what you think is right, while abiding by your own beliefs as best you can. It's tricky as all get out, I know, but for me at least that's what works."

"Say we pick and choose... what is there to stop us from discarding it all?" Sooraya ventured carefully, voicing the immediately concern that came to her with the whole idea after some thought. "If you pull away once building block, what is there to stop the whole building from crumbling?"

"Well, nothing, I guess. People walk away from faiths sometimes, or convert to another, which would essentially be the same thing." Sam replied. "Though depending on what blocks you're taking away, if I can continue the metaphor, you can still leave the foundation and other key structures intact, I reckon. It depends on what you wanna take away from it, really. Or what you want to leave in place, I guess, heh."

Sooraya let out another sigh. 'It sounds like I might need to contemplate some other things first before I can find answers." Like which building blocks of her faith were absolute foundations for her and if those answers allowed her to find an alternative way of looking at things. "Thank you, Sam." She added gratefully.

"Anytime, Sooraya, glad to help." He grinned at her, reaching out to pat her hand. Glancing at the watch on said hand, Sam let out a soft, low whistle - they were still in a library, after all - and started to get up. "On that note, though, I should run and let you get started on that, since I've got to run for a meeting. It was great talkin' with you, though, and if you ever want to chat about this or anythin' else again, just say the word, ok?"

She rose as well, giving him a brief smile. "Of course. I did mean to delay you. Again thank you, Sam." She waited till he had left before she sank back in her chair again, her eyes unfocusing as she lost herself in her thoughts.