Topaz and Maddie: A Detente?

[x-pryor.livejournal.com]

Maddie and Topaz make nice. No really, they do.






Maddie sat on the ground, back pressing against the door, legs crossed, elbow resting on knee, fist propping up her chin, staring at the open book in her lap, her brow furrowed deep in concentration. But it wasn't the book that had her attention, no. That glassy eyed stare was her thinking face, the look she acquired when pondering the mysteries of the universe.

And this was quite a mystery indeed.

As much as Topaz had longed to be out of the Box, now she was starting to miss it. Being out in the mansion made her feel jumpy - and just a little bit like a walking target. But at least she could retreat to her suite for a bit, she'd be safe there. Or safer, at least.

Or maybe not.

Topaz raised an eyebrow when she saw the redhead against hers and Molly's door. Well, better than finding her on her bed, she supposed. She wasn't quite sure what Maddie was doing here, but there were only a few options since Sue was elsewhere. And none of them were good. "Would you like some tea?" She asked dryly.

The pair of green eyes flicked upwards, focusing on the face of the girl standing over her. Unblinking, Maddie stared at Topaz wide-eyed, head tilted at an angle, studying the girl. "I'm not going to attack you," the redhead calmly assured the girl before her. The girl looked like a deer who knew it was being hunted, who had already been shot at once, like at any moment a hunter would come along to finish the job. Well, it wasn't deer season, not today.

"Are you really sorry?"

It wasn't even that she was worried about being attacked. She just...wasn't sure she had it in her to deal with it. Still, the questioning could be just as dangerous as any attack.

"Yeah," Topaz said softly, shoving her hands into her pockets as she stepped back to lean against the couch, meeting Maddie's gaze head-on. No more avoiding. "I am." Whether Maddie believed that was another story, of course. "What I did was wrong, and no one else deserved to get caught up in my mental issues. I screwed up."

"You've hurt people before," Maddie's tone was even, devoid of any emotion. It was curiosity, not any sort of personal involvement, that brought her to this place. She planned to hear Topaz out, the problem was getting the other girl to talk. "You haven't seemed to care when your actions could hurt someone before. What changed?"

"I learned," Topaz returned, just as evenly. "I know how to admit when I've done something wrong. I make a mistake, I learn from it, and I move on. That doesn't mean I don't care." She just didn't express it in a way others would find acceptable.

That earned Topaz a quirk of the eyebrow. "It's not so much admitting when you've done something wrong, it's what you consider to be wrong, or what you consider not to be a big deal. You sit there in Ethics," Maddie slowly began to stand, "and treat it like it's completely beneath you. Like all of us, this entire place and the people in it, are beneath you. You sit there on your throne, looking down on the rest of us, like we're not worthy of your presence and your time. That you are above such trivial matters as right and wrong, and when you speak, when you are forced to participate with us mere mortals, well, you say as little as possible, in words and in meaning."

"This place is probably the best thing to ever happen to you in your life. People are trying to help you, with no ulterior motive, except to keep us from hurting ourselves and others because we don't know how to control our powers or understand that we are smoking guns, that what we may do without thinking could cause more damage than we could ever imagine."

Topaz let Maddie go, watched her stand without interrupting, her hands in her pockets as the redhead spoke. She waited until she was sure Maddie was done to speak. "You're right, first of all. This place is the best thing that's happened to me in a long time. You're wrong assuming I think I'm above everyone, though." Her opinion of herself was almost laughable, really, especially right then. "Words are dangerous. You put too much of yourself out there, you put yourself at risk. And yeah, maybe that sounds paranoid, but it's also safe." She pulled her hands out of her pockets and straightened up to her full height - which was saying absolutely nothing considering she was shorter than Maddie.

"You want to know what I think on a daily basis? What I'm thinking when I'm sitting in Ethics listening to you and Hope and Professor Xavier? I'm looking around the circle and I'm thinking about all the things I could say, and all the ways those things could ever be used against me. I'm thinking about all the things I could say wrong and how quickly you all could turn on me if I do. How badly I can screw something up." It was surprisingly easy to say all this. Possibly because she knew Maddie's opinion of her wouldn't change either way by hearing it. "This place is all I've got left, and I've already done enough damage. I'm not going to hang myself completely by saying the wrong thing."

All Maddie could do was stand there, hands on her hips, and stare, even after her classmate had finished speaking. This was probably the most she had ever heard Topaz speak, and for the first time ever, it seemed sincere. This was a breakthrough, if not an outright miracle.

And Maddie had to go and ruin it by bursting into laughter.

"Oh my G-d are you serious," she asked, breathless. Determining that Topaz was indeed serious, Maddie continued. "First of all, we got this thing here in America guaranteeing a little something called 'freedom of expression'. Unless you're being a total dick and bullying someone to the point where they hurt themselves or threatening to go out and kill someone, shit like that, that's a different story. And secondly, who's gonna use what you say against you? Let's just cut to the chase because I know you're thinking about me, 'cause The Prof and Hope sure aren't going to do that. And I hate to break it to you, sunshine, but you ain't that special. You are not nearly important enough for me to put in the effort it would require to blackmail you."

Topaz shook her head. "Maddie of everyone here, you're probably the last person I would worry about trying to hurt me." She readjusted her bag on her shoulder. "You asked a question and I answered it. So, can I get into my room, please? I'd like to drop my stuff." She didn't like leaving anything in the main part of the suite, it was unnecessary clutter. And she wanted tea.

"Look." Maddie squared herself, preventing Topaz from reaching the door. "After the shit you've pulled, they're not going to kick you out for saying something like 'God hates fags' or whatever. They're not. Okay?" Resisting the normal urge to reach out and rest her hands on Topaz's shoulders in a comforting way, the redhead instead shoved her thumbs through the belt loops of her shorts. "They're not. So cut that shit out. You ain't going nowhere, lady. Not from anyone kicking you out at least."

"So you might as well accept that you're here for the duration. And let me tell you, your time served is a hell of a lot easier if you got people there at your side. And if you can't trust your fellow Wayward Mutant Youths, who can you trust? We fought the Slendermen together, for Pete's sake. So give us a chance, and I'll give you a chance. That thing with Tandy? Forgotten. Which might not matter to you, but I am an awesome ally. You'll have a ton more fun with me on your side."

"And I promise to never bombard you for a conversation like this again."

Topaz leaned back against the couch as she considered Maddie's words. Well the idea of never having to go this deep into her personal problems ever again was certainly appealing. "I'll try." She finally said. And she meant it. Never mind that being social was a part of her..."recovery," or whatever they wanted to call it, she...really did want to try. "I swear I will try." It was the best she could do. She couldn't promise any miracles or sudden overnight transformations.

But she could try.

"So." She finally let her bag just drop off her shoulder, and it clunked against the floor. "Would you like some tea?"

And that was all Maddie could ask. Satisfied with the conversation's outcome, the redhead stepped aside and swept her arm toward the bedroom door. "I'll take a raincheck. Go on and settle down some. And get some rest, you look like shit."

Topaz quirked an eyebrow, a faint smile pulling at her lips. She was well aware of how she looked - Maddie wasn't wrong. "I'll do that. Thanks."