Age of Apocalypse: Dead or Alive?

[x-eidolon.livejournal.com]

Still in the Astral plane, Rachel manifests before Xorn.



She had been floating for some time - what seemed like several days - little more than a ball of consciousness aimlessly wandering the astral plane – and the weightlessness felt good. There was nothing left for her to worry about; nothing really mattered any more.

Then, someone reached out and picked her up between their thumb and index finger, and with a simple tug, Rachel found herself free-falling down the spiral again.

"I see things worked out." It was odd to see Xorn without his helmet; a bland middle-aged Asian man about as memorable as a paving stone. He was floating, upside down to her perspective, as the dimensions slowly orbited around him. "As I said, it would cost you a life."

Slowly, the consciousness shifted, moving particle by particle until Rachel had fully manifested in front of him, head full of hair, bare slender body, consternated frown and all. She shook her head, as though to dislodge the feeling of airiness and lethargy from her brain.

“I thought I died.”

"You did. Much like that whole world, that life is gone forever."

Green eyes narrowed at him in a baleful stare. “I’m right here. Unless you’re tellin’ me this is the afterlife.”

"Life is often a matter of perception, Rachel. In a thousand echoes and a million variants."

“So… the sacrifice was my past life? My little world of lies?” Rachel arched a brow, crossed her arms and frowned heavily. “But how can I sacrifice something that wasn’t even real in the first place?”.

"You would be surprised how little is real. Or at least real under those conditions."

“No, not really,” she said. “I’m thinking nothing is real.”

"True. And not. You might not want to go down that avenue with someone who sees in 38 dimensions simultaneously." Xorn nodded. "Your body is getting rained on right now."

“Kinda weird conversation to have with anyone. And if you see in 38 dimensions, I should think that makes you the best person to ask.” It could have been petulance or stubbornness that made her argumentative at that point, but fact of the matter was, she just wanted to know, because anything less than that would have her questioning everything she thought she had known for the past couple of years… months… Fuck.

“Aren’t I supposed to be six?”

"You are. And you aren't. And you are," Xorn said. "This is how this works."

It shouldn’t be a surprise that such a conversation with such a person would be frustrating. And he had warned her. So the lesson learned at the end of the day was… ‘don’t think about it’? Rachel sighed and brought her legs up so that she was seated cross-legged, and then deliberately spun so the both of them were the wrong way down. Or the right way up. Basically, the side where she wasn’t peering at an upside down face.

“You saved me, right?” She asked finally, propping her chip up on a palm. “So… I’ve paid the price and fulfilled our bargain, right? Well, then. What now? Do I go on being dead?”

"That's your choice, Rachel. You can choose to end with your old life, or you can go on with your new one. I can't say which will be easier."

“What happens if I choose not to go on with my old… new..” The redhead rolled her eyes. “The life that I was supposed to have? Do you kill me? Or what?”

"I don't kill, Rachel. If you choose not to go on, you won't. Eventually, your psionic form will discorporate and you'll merge with the noosphere. But before then, you'll have the chance to see wonders. A million worlds squared, where every imaginable change has happened. You'll see paradises and nightmares; every happiness you could want and every cruelty you could imagine. It will be a full life at the very least."

“There’s a downside to that, though, isn’t there? There always is.”

"It means a life like mine; always connected but always apart; alone. For some, that is the attraction. For others, not."

“Do I have to decide, like, now? Can I just hang around for a bit before making my decision?”

"The window is closing, Rachel. I'm afraid your time is rapidly running out."

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you? If you were one to enjoy such things, that is,” Rachel grumbled half-heartedly.

She didn’t know what made it so easy for her to give up her life for what she thought was a worthy cause, but so difficult to ask for it back. Maybe she just didn’t want to face up to what waited for her back on the world she had visited so briefly. Rachel looked around her. Was choosing to remain here and experience all that Xorn described the easy way out? Did she owe something to the people from her original life? Even as a psionic creature here, she could feel something sad and painful playing on her heartstrings.

“… Send me home then, wherever that is,” she sighed, gathering her resolve even as she attempted another joke. “Sorry I can’t keep you company here, dude.”

"In many places you have and will. That is the nature of this existence." He said, and his eyes looked up into a flaring light that grew ever closer to them. "Goodbye Rachel. Enjoy your life, because in all that dimensions of the world, it is the only one that is yours alone."

Rachel wanted to thank him, but it was not clear whether she managed to before the light completely engulfed her. Then again, at the end of the day, it mattered very little. He probably knew it anyway, and was, at the end of the day, far above such petty concerns. Still, Rachel thought, as she freefell through the space that was not really space, he was pretty cool, and had been as accommodating as he could have been.

All inane thought, however, was jarred out of her head as she was slammed painfully against dirt ground. Clad fully in her combat gear, the redhead rolled over onto her side to take in the sight of Charles Xavier’s mansion in its full, undamaged glory -- Home. Perhaps.