Doug & Wade | Sunday Afternoon

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

Wade has a brilliant plan. Obviously Doug has to be involved. And food. Definitely food.


"Doug!" Wade called, popping his head into his friend's apartment through the window attached to the fire escape. "Hey, I have an idea!"

"An idea?" Doug looked up from where he sat on his couch. At this point he was blase about Wade's tendency to come in through the window, regardless of time of day, weather conditions, etc. "What kind of idea are we talking about here?" He smirked. "And how much pursuit by the authorities are we potentially looking at?"

"Moderate pursuit," Wade answered, grinning as he came in the rest of the way through the window. "Or none, if we do this right." He waggled his eyebrows before plopping down on the couch next to Doug. "Either way, it'll be fun!"

Doug snickered. "Fun is a pretty broad descriptor, what's the game?" Of course they would do it right, they were a pair of men who took pride in being among the very best at their respective skillsets.

Rubbing his hands together in obvious anticipation, Wade said, "We are going to Pizza a Casa Pizza School. I booked us as a private event, so if anybody asks, you're the president of Illz, Inc. It's your job to figure out what the company does. I'm your lowly assistant, forced to make arrangements last minute."

"Illz, Inc? What, are we a try-too-hard white guy pharma company that makes opiates?" Doug shook his head in bemusement at his friend. "Is this just you and me, or should Illz, Inc have a few more employees for this event?"

Wade grinned. "Logan and Kyle are gonna meet us there. That way at least we'll use up all the pizza ingredients and the owners won't actually attempt to have us arrested for wasting their time or whatever. Also, I like the opiate idea. Let's run with that."

"So I'm the president, and you're my PA? What does that make Logan, the guy from Accounting?" Doug snorted in disbelief. He stood and grabbed a coffee cup to better accentuate his impression. "Yeah...we're gonna need you to come in on Saturday. Yeah, that would be great..." He pointed the mug at Wade like a weapon. "You better not be expecting an end-of-year performance bonus."

Wade grinned. "Awesome. Let me borrow a pair of your glasses. I do a really good 'harried' and 'under appreciated' when I have to. Also, I need a leather paper carrier. I left Logan and Kyle to figure out their own parts in the company. But a short, hairy Canadian from Accounting would be hilarious."

"Yeah, just make sure they aren't one of my actual prescription pairs." Doug's vision was better than it used to be - an odd ancillary effect of what his body had undergone inside of Mastermold, but he was definitely a pack rat, and still kept the glasses and contacts around in case he needed them again. These days, if he wanted to look a part, he went with plain no-prescription reading glasses. "I vote we make Kyle be our guy from Legal, then, if we're going for maximum ridiculousness."

"I'm good with that. I'll text them to see how they feel about it." Wade pulled open the drawer on the end table next to the couch and rummaged around until he found a non-prescription pair of glasses. "Excellent." Putting them on, he raised his eyebrows at his friends. "Do I pass?"

Doug took a look at Wade and then collapsed on the arm of his chair at the effect of the glasses and attempted serious expression. "I just can't even with you," he wheezed out. "You look absolutely ridiculous."

"What?" Wade said, half-indignant. "I bet I look debonair." He walked through to the bathroom, then cracked up, himself. "Wow, God - no. You're right. Still, it's better than nothing."

"Suave and debonair, all right," Doug replied through his giggles, pronouncing it 'swave' and 'deboner'.

Reaching over, Wade pulled Doug up and half-dragged him to the door. "C'mon, we've got a massive pizza date and I plan to take advantage of it. Those pizza dudes won't know what hit 'em."