Dear Moron Diary
Jun. 17th, 2003 08:52 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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xp_logsLeave a girl alone with a pen, paper and some angst and sooner or later, she'll write herself a letter. Or at least, that's what happened to Lorna.
Lorna, my idiotic darling,
Who precisely do you think you are fooling? Jamie, the self named immensely dense thinks you're in love--you think everyone else doesn't as well? Jamie who thought that Alison and Kurt were dating? Kitty's asked about it. Alison heckles you about it. ANd what with your super chic meltdown every single time you speak to Alex even he can't be that far from six.
Not to mention all the gratuitous touching. Ye saints and angels! Are you going for the least subtle ever award? The boy isn't a rock--he get's it okay?
Now set that aside and let's just look at the immensity of the mistake you're making in the first place.
Problem one--he is seven-frickin-teen! Not even out of high school and there are these nasty little laws that apply to just these situations. You should know them--they're a Regent's favorite phrase. Say it with me now, "statuatory what?"
But let's pretend /that/ isn't insurmountable and skip right along into bliss...I mean, Problem Two.
Professor Summer's little brother. In fact, Prof. Summer's long lost presumed dead prodigal no way in hell he is going to lose him again brother. Now in what warped version of reality do you exist that Mr. Rules and Regs Summer's is going to be all bunnies and puppies about his little brother dating you? yeah, right. But okay sure, so maybe you'll drug Scott into agreeing--what then? What happens when you hit Problem Three?
Yeah, that's the one. Surfer boy, Valley girl. Talk about something that only works in the movie. You think he's going to understand /at all/ that you hate going into the ocean? You think eh's going to be entertained by shopping trips and makeup? Is there a single cell in your brain deluded enough to imagine that you have even six interests in common?
But one more time, okay, let's pretend that you two are a matched set and you'll spend your days in happy yahtzee bliss. Let's even skip over the next hundred things wrong with the very idea of the two of you and skip right to the end. We'll call this one Problem Four, even though we both know it's more like 400.
Total incapacitation. Face it, hon, you've been doing a gorgeous zombie impression since you were smacked between the eyes. You think that those ten pounds you've dropped are from training? Ha! Try the fact that you can't eat but for thoughts of him and the thoughts are better than the food. Just try to tell me that your sleeplessness isn't due to dreams of him. Go ahead. No one will buy it for a bent nickel.
Think about it. Do you really want to be in love with a boy who can do that to you? Are you seriously considering that there is any chance that this is a good idea? You would give up every independence if he asked. You would willingly hand over the power to break you. Are you going to trust him with that?
Be smart for half a moment, girl! Use that lump of grey matter for something other than racking up high scores on the SATs. You don't believe in this love at first sight crap and you certainly aren't going to give in to a stupid and overworn cliche. Think about it logically for a minute and you'll see I'm right. This whole thing is hopeless and a one way ticket to painsville. Get over it now. It's for your own good.
Love and stuff,
Your common sense.
***ooc--this was highly entertaining. You all should do the same. Soon. Really. You should. Like now. *fails miserably at subtlety*
Lorna, my idiotic darling,
Who precisely do you think you are fooling? Jamie, the self named immensely dense thinks you're in love--you think everyone else doesn't as well? Jamie who thought that Alison and Kurt were dating? Kitty's asked about it. Alison heckles you about it. ANd what with your super chic meltdown every single time you speak to Alex even he can't be that far from six.
Not to mention all the gratuitous touching. Ye saints and angels! Are you going for the least subtle ever award? The boy isn't a rock--he get's it okay?
Now set that aside and let's just look at the immensity of the mistake you're making in the first place.
Problem one--he is seven-frickin-teen! Not even out of high school and there are these nasty little laws that apply to just these situations. You should know them--they're a Regent's favorite phrase. Say it with me now, "statuatory what?"
But let's pretend /that/ isn't insurmountable and skip right along into bliss...I mean, Problem Two.
Professor Summer's little brother. In fact, Prof. Summer's long lost presumed dead prodigal no way in hell he is going to lose him again brother. Now in what warped version of reality do you exist that Mr. Rules and Regs Summer's is going to be all bunnies and puppies about his little brother dating you? yeah, right. But okay sure, so maybe you'll drug Scott into agreeing--what then? What happens when you hit Problem Three?
Yeah, that's the one. Surfer boy, Valley girl. Talk about something that only works in the movie. You think he's going to understand /at all/ that you hate going into the ocean? You think eh's going to be entertained by shopping trips and makeup? Is there a single cell in your brain deluded enough to imagine that you have even six interests in common?
But one more time, okay, let's pretend that you two are a matched set and you'll spend your days in happy yahtzee bliss. Let's even skip over the next hundred things wrong with the very idea of the two of you and skip right to the end. We'll call this one Problem Four, even though we both know it's more like 400.
Total incapacitation. Face it, hon, you've been doing a gorgeous zombie impression since you were smacked between the eyes. You think that those ten pounds you've dropped are from training? Ha! Try the fact that you can't eat but for thoughts of him and the thoughts are better than the food. Just try to tell me that your sleeplessness isn't due to dreams of him. Go ahead. No one will buy it for a bent nickel.
Think about it. Do you really want to be in love with a boy who can do that to you? Are you seriously considering that there is any chance that this is a good idea? You would give up every independence if he asked. You would willingly hand over the power to break you. Are you going to trust him with that?
Be smart for half a moment, girl! Use that lump of grey matter for something other than racking up high scores on the SATs. You don't believe in this love at first sight crap and you certainly aren't going to give in to a stupid and overworn cliche. Think about it logically for a minute and you'll see I'm right. This whole thing is hopeless and a one way ticket to painsville. Get over it now. It's for your own good.
Love and stuff,
Your common sense.
***ooc--this was highly entertaining. You all should do the same. Soon. Really. You should. Like now. *fails miserably at subtlety*
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Date: 2003-06-19 06:23 pm (UTC)