David & Wade | Tuesday Afternoon

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

David gets back from somewhere, possibly Serbia, and Wade gives him a 'welcome home' present.


"No, seriously," Wade said, braking as he took the road to the left that would lead them even further out into the middle of nowhere. "You're not allowed to open that very nicely wrapped box until we get where we're going. I know your curiosity is killing you, but it's important."

The box that Wade was referring to was small enough to rest in David's palm, but was currently resting on North's thigh. It was wrapped in butcher's paper and made no noise when shook despite the fact that it certainly was not empty if its weight was anything to go by. So one could not really fault David for the suspicious look he shot Wade over the top of his shades.

"I do not like surprises, dummkopf. They have a habit of blowing up in my face."

"This is totally not going to blow up in your face," Wade promised, holding up one hand in the traditional boy scout hand sign despite the fact that he was driving stick. "Boy scout's honor." That oath would probably have had more impact if either of them actually believed in that kind of thing - and if Wade had ever actually been a boy scout.

They drove for a few more minutes, the area around them getting even more barren, before pulling onto a lot that held nothing but a rickety shack. "Ta da!"

Up went his right eyebrow and off came the shades. He eyed the shack for a moment before David tilted his head at Wade and jerked his chin at the box in his hands.

"Something's going to blow up, ja?"

"But not in your face," Wade said, putting special emphasis on the words. He parked and got out of the car, then headed for the shack, turning to walk backward so he could continue talking to North. "C'mon, you gotta see this, it's gonna be epic."

Never one to begrudge the older man his fun, David obligingly followed him into the shack, immediately mapping the place out in his head. There were no electrical lights in the shack, just natural sunlight filtering through the cracks between the planks. It was also very flimsy and mostly empty. Too empty.

David hefted his 'present' from Wade and took a slow tour of the room, aware that Wade was tracking his movements with excitement bubbling under his skin. The precog paused at one side of the room and tapped his foot against the floor, blue eyes looking pointedly at the ground. The ground which was a bit too even and too solid. "Well?"

Grinning, Wade walked back over to the door and crouched, running his fingers along the barely-there baseboard. He paused, having found what he was looking for, then glanced over at North and said, "You'll want to step back a bit." Once the German had complied, he pushed a small, concealed button and watched as the floor where North had been standing popped up about an inch.

Wade stood up and walked over to the area, fitting his fingers beneath the edge as he lifted. "C'mon, you'll love this." He headed down the stairs revealed by the trapdoor, hitting the light switch on the wall to the left. "Pull that closed, behind you."

The room downstairs turned out to be a compact rectangle - but a comfortable one. There was a couch and a mini refrigerator as well as several locked trunks, an electrical panel, and a desk with a laptop and various other electronics. There was also an open doorway next to the electrical panel on the opposite wall. "Grab a beer - I'm gonna make sure everything's where I left it, c'mon through whenever you want. Don't forget your box."

David did as he was told, scouting out the room with a beer in his hand without actually touching any of Wade’s stuff because he knew better than to try. It was a strangely elaborate place, and it was more than feasible for someone to camp out there for a couple of days if the fridge and dry rations were anything to go by.

He followed Wade after a last sweeping glance around the room, imprinting its general layout in his head out of habit. But it appeared that the ex-mercenary, true to his usual tendencies – had not pulled any stops with this shindig.

The door that Wade had disappeared behind revealed a short hallway that led to another room, similar to the one they had just left – except that the wall opposite the door housed a long, horizontal window that appeared to be hidden from the dusty road by the shack itself. David let out a long whistle, retrieving the package from his trenchcoat pocket and waving it at Wade.

“Will you now put me out of my misery?” He asked dryly. He could perhaps count on one hand the number of people he would trust to hand him an unknown, mysterious package to keep on his person without asking too many questions. Wade was one of them, apparently. But it did not mean he was any less antsy about it.

"Yup," Wade said, hefting a heavier, rectangular box onto his shoulder from where it had been leaning against one of the second room's bare walls. "You can go ahead and open that, then you can open this one - and figure out which one you actually want to use." There was no furniture in this room, though the walls were visibly reinforced with steel beams and half of the window could be removed by hand if desired.

The butcher's paper came off with a few neat rips along the seam and the box opened up to reveal a lot of packing foams, which littered the floor as he dug through them to get at the real prize. Calloused fingers met a small metal device and David frowned down at it as he pulled it out of its hiding place.

A remote detonator.

The spy narrowed his eyes at it, examining it carefully before arching a brow at his companion in silent question. One should never jump to obvious conclusions with Wade Wilson.

Working the box off the rocket propelled grenade launcher on his shoulder, Wade turned to the side so North could see it. "Welcome back from where ever they sent you this time - it was probably someplace very gray and dull with people you didn't like. So now you get to choose - remotely detonate the bombs out there," he lifted his chin to indicate the barren land beyond the window. "Or you can use the RPG. Spy's choice."

David held his present out for a swap, with a look that distinctly told Wade that he was asking a question with the most obvious answer in the world.

Wade handed the RPG over with a grin. "I had to give you the detonator because I didn't want to carry the RPG around in my car in case the police pulled me over for whatever trumped up reason they might have. So, my friend, if you look out this window over here, you'll see a really cute little white flag stuck in the ground all the way over there." Wade gestured out into the barren wasteland outside the bunker. "Aim for that."

David returned Wade's grin with a smirk of his own as he slid open the window and hefted the RPG over his shoulder. He cocked his head at the target and gave the outlay a long, assessing look.

He did not hesitate long after that though, merely aimed the launcher at the target and fired it, a very large grin stretching across his face as he watched it arc through the air. Those who knew the spy knew that there were very few occasions on which he displayed that amount of emotions. Which was probably unhealthy, especially considering the reason behind his delight. But, well. Wade was hardly in the position to judge him for that.

Detonation was almost immediate, the explosion ripping dirt and stone up into the air as fire mushroomed outward and the aftershock of force and sound rippling through the ground caused the bunker to shiver. It held, though, a bit of dust falling from the ceiling as Wade grinned. A moment later and the heat hit, causing Wade to close the window to avoid the majority of the debris now pattering down around them. "Dude," Wade said, grinning. "Wait for it..." A few seconds later there was another explosion, farther away. "Chain reaction." Peering out the window, he pointed past the smoking hold where the first bomb went off. "See?"

"Those look familiar," David noted, carefully disengaging the RPG before lowering it to the floor. Spectacularly familiar butterfly bombs. From the war. "You went to such expense, my friend. You should not have."

"You can't really see the thingies that pop open and make them look like butterflies, but I figured - oh, wait. There goes one, a late bloomer, apparently." Wade turned to grin at North. "What're you talking about, do you even know me? Of course I should've. Who else would appreciate it?"

"Who indeed?" North murmured, partially shielding this eyes as he watched the explosions slowly die down, the noises still ringing in his ears. "Thank you. Is this going to become a habit? Because then I will volunteer to spend two weeks in godforsaken Serbia more often."

"You're welcome," Wade said, grinning. "And I can make it a habit. Because damn, that was pretty."