Kane and Adrienne (Backdated)

[x-adrienne.livejournal.com]

Garrison nurses Adrienne through a meltdown triggered by a discussion of fantasy baseball, which leads to a conversation about her path in life.

"12 points between us babe. Winner goes to the finals, loser goes to the closet for a sexy outfit." Kane said from the bed, grinning at her over her iPad where he was checking their scores. Adrienne and Kane had once again come out near the top of the fantasy league, fighting it out over the top spot.

"I also haven't set my rotation in over a month," Adrienne mumbled, putting the finishing touches on a report she'd been writing and closing her laptop. "So while you're probably going to win, I don't feel as bad about it."

"You take all the fun out of gloating sometimes, you know?" He flopped back on to the pillows, iPad on his chest.

"Gee, I'm so sorry that I forgot to maintain my fantasy team between Tandy getting kidnapped, possessed, and falling out with her bestie and you getting roasted like a coffee bean, not to mention back-to-school, Fashion Week, and managing two businesses," she muttered, rolling her eyes. "Not to mention the fact that when your team's in the shitter baseball, as a whole, is not very much fun."

"Message received. Sorry to have brought it up." Obviously Adrienne was not in a mood to be playful tonight.

"Don't be sorry," she muttered, instantly contrite. "It's not you, it's me. Or, rather. this place. It's just... been a really shitty few weeks, and when you look at it in the context of fantasy baseball, I mean... we've been doing this, what? Three seasons now?" She wrinkled her nose, sitting on the end of the bed, arms wrapped around herself. "Have we ever had a season where we can actually set our lineups each week? Genosha... all the kidnappings... all the violence. All the times you've nearly died. It just never seems to end, y'know? And sometimes it irritates the hell out of me that we can't just play fantasy baseball like... normal people."

Kane levered himself up and slid down the bed to her. "On the other hand, that's no reason to stop trying. Let's be honest, babe, we're not normal people. And we likely won't ever be."

Without any warning, Adrienne burst into tears.

"Oh geez." Garrison put his arms around her, so she could bury her face in his chest.

Crying was so rare for Adrienne that after a couple minutes of sobs wracking her body, she was crying over the fact that she wasn't entirely sure how to stop crying. It seemed like she might never stop. Then she was hiccuping and gasping for breath, making a mess of his shirt as she tried to figure out how to regain her composure, getting more and more panicked over the fact that she didn't know how.

"Hey, hey..." He said, stroking her hair as she shook against him. He had never seen her like this; scared, angry, sick with worry. But bursting into tears like this was beyond him. "It's okay, babe. I'm here."

Trying to focus on Garrison's voice, Adrienne managed to stop hyperventilating enough to form words. "Why... why am I-I crying and w-why can't I st-stop?"

"Stress release, babe." He kissed the side of her head, just trying to support her. He remembered his psychological schooling, and could recognize something that had been building a long time. "You take all the time you need."

His explanation gave her a different emotion to focus on, which allowed her to gradually regain control over herself. After another minute or two she was sniffling into his shirt and then progressed to straightening up and wiping her face with her sleeve. "Stress release is supposed to be sex, not crying," she muttered, sounding angry with herself now. "What the fuck is wrong with me?"

"Different kinds of stress. Believe me, I'd be happy to fuck you better if I thought it would work." Kane said, his voice kindly. "But fear and anxiety and not knowing whether or not the people you care about are safe, after years of training yourself not to care at all? I think that deserves a good cry."

"Can we pretend the crying was a ploy to make you feel bad about most likely beating me in fantasy baseball?" Adrienne asked, pulling his tear-stained shirt off of him and leaning against his chest once again.

"I think the last thing we should do is pretend about things that are bothering you." He smoothed her hand, fingers running down her neck and shoulder, probing at the tension. "Just, you know, talk to me."

Adrienne had never had a problem talking, except when it came to things that were bothering her or trouble she was in. But she was trying to get better at it, and knowing that Garrison wanted her to talk things through with him helped a great deal. She traced his abs with an idle finger as she tried to get a handle on what exactly had prompted her meltdown. "It's silly. I've been a mutant since I was eleven, but I guess I've always still thought of myself as 'normal.' But... like you said. We're not normal people, and we probably never will be. When Tandy and I were talking," she tried to explain, "after her kidnapping, we kind of touched on that. I said something about how the things that happened to her, would probably still happen whether she was at the mansion or not. That her connection to the mansion just meant having a bigger group of people who cared about her and would come rescue her. I said that stuff to her. Basically told her she could never be normal, no matter where on Earth she was. I said it, but I guess I didn't really comprehend what I was saying. Until you said it. We're not normal people, and we probably never will be," she repeated wryly.

"So many of you here, you go out every day and you use what you've got," she added, building up momentum now. "Your powers. You don't pretend to be normal. I do. I always have. I mean, I help you guys out with my powers. When I can. I worked with Vanessa and Bishop sometimes. But I've always seen myself as a businesswoman first. As a super kickass awesome businesswoman," she pointed out, "but a normal businesswoman. And a teacher. Math, for fuck's sake. And yeah, maybe I help kids learn shit. But really? I'm hiding. I'm hiding at the mansion, pretending to be normal, pretending to be ordinary, while everyone else I care about is out there, being extraordinary. Getting themselves kidnapped and hurt. And what if I could have helped if I'd been there? Part of me keeps thinking I'm fucking nuts to even comprehend putting myself in danger. But the other part wonders if I could do more good... if I wasn't a teacher anymore."

"I think what you do is pretty important, babe. Don't discount the importance that a good teacher and businesswoman can do." Garrison took a deep breath. "But, if you think that you could help out there, you're right. Your powers are incredibly useful in a lot of situations and you've never disappointed in the field, But that's a huge, huge step. It's not one that you should take because you feel like you're letting people down with what you're doing now. It's one you should only take because you believe you need to do more and this is the way."

"I do feel like I need to do more," Adrienne answered immediately, though she kept her tone light. "But I'm not going to rush into anything. I mean, five minutes ago I didn't even know that this was why I was crying. I'm not gonna go quit my job today and backpack around Europe to find myself or anything. We're gonna have a lot more conversations about this before I do anything about it, believe me," she promised him. "Although," she added, poking him in the ribs, "I think we can both agree that's a lie about me never disappointing in the field. Remember when I shot you in the ass?"

"True, but you looked fantastic in the outfit you shot me in. So, you know, that counts as a win." He grinned at her. "That might mean you need to upgrade your training regimen a bit. Do you want me to put you through the paces in the Danger Room? I've had a couple of ideas for your powers and hand to hand."

Adrienne laughed warmly at his quip, feeling much more at ease now. "Definitely a win." She picked up the iPad so she could see for herself how the fantasy teams were shaking out. "I always want you to put me through the paces. Even when that's not sexual innuendo," she shrugged good-naturedly. "Are the Blue Jays mathematically eliminated from the playoffs yet?"

"Nah, four back in the wild card. Oakland's collapse put everything back into the realm of the possible." He flopped back on the bed, shirtless, and teased the back of her knees, making her squirm. "So, you feel better? A little more like being put through the paces?"

Adrienne squealed and fell back onto him melodramatically, trying to knock the wind out of him. "I guess we should do some paces now, because if your team does make it into the playoffs, I don't know if you're ever going to get sex again. Lucky for you," she added, "you guys are playing Baltimore next, so I'm sure you'll tank."

"I'm not going to get sex if the Jays make the playoffs? Damn, now I have to go back to dating Marie." He jibed, rolling her over so she was trapped by his arm while he started to tickle her sides.

"Riiiight," Adrienne mumbled, trying to evade the tickling onslaught with a lot of squirming and squealing. "I forgot! I gotta watch myself now that your ex is back on the premises. Now that you have other options, I should probably stop abusing you and threatening your life and generally mistreating you all the time." She then started to chew on his arm in a fake attempt to get free, though, so clearly she didn't really mean what she said.

"Exactly! Ouch!" He shook her off as she nipped deeper. "But you can totally make it up to me now."

"You may have missed your window," Adrienne teased. "You brought up your ex's return, and now I want you to talk to me about your feelings about it."

"It's a very stressful situation. Want to help me release it first?"

"If I ever answer 'no' to that question," Adrienne informed him matter-of-factly, "you have permission to kill me."