Jean and Adrienne: The Room

[x-jeangrey.livejournal.com]

Jean meets Adrienne down in the rec room very late (or early in the morning).


The smell of garlic, cheese, and tomato sauce wafted from the rec room as Jean Grey sat on the couch, having started on a slice of pizza from a place she'd discovered recently: Fat Tony's. It perfectly complimented the movie on TV in competition for what was considered 'bad' for you: The Room.

Most people had gone to bed, but Jean herself couldn't sleep. She had an interview the next day for a hospital in the city to start a fellowship. Charles had pulled some strings, much to her chagrin. She had wanted to make it on her own steam but if she was going to stay here then she needed something to do. And being a medlab doctor full time wouldn't get her the experience she needed.

Adrienne couldn't sleep either. She'd been having a lot of trouble with that lately. Usually she would just do her work or exercise until she literally collapsed in sleep. But tonight she was restless. She'd been working so much that she'd finally hit the point where she couldn't think of anything else to do, work-wise. And her body was a mess of aches from all the working out.

Not wanting to wake Garrison by playing the television in his suite, the common room seemed like the best idea for some distraction of the mindless, lazy variety. Her ears perked up as she recognized the awful dialogue from The Room, one of her favourite awful movies. "Hey, I thought there was a rule around here that no one watched The Room without telling-" Coming around the couch and spotting who was sitting on it, Adrienne stopped dead in her tracks, mouth gaping open. "Oh. I guess I should have known," she muttered under her breath when she could form thoughts again. How stupid had it been for her to forget that the old rules she'd known did not apply any longer.

"You're TEARING me APAAAT, LISA!" the TV bellowed as the man on the screen awkwardly flailed his arms about. Jean pushed pause almost at the same time as she noticed the woman enter the room, then freeze.

"It's hard to resist the very bad classics," Jean mused with a laugh as she put her plate down, and wiped a bit of pizza residue off on a napkin. She was pretty sure it was marinated in grease. Delicious, delicious heart disease.

"Quotable, but for all the wrong reasons."

She turned around a bit more to face her, studying the look in her eyes. This new person looked uncomfortable and annoyed for some reason, but the expression didn't sit well on her face. It looked unnatural, like she had confidence but was caught unawares.

"I can absolutely go if you wanted the TV. The movie's almost over, though. They were showing it on Adult Swim. I can't imagine anyone really owning it on DVD but then again, it could be purely out of irony."

Just as Adrienne felt like the vice grips around her heart were letting up a little now that she'd finally seen this new version of one of her best friends, and eating pizza from Fat Tony's, to boot, they constricted once again. "I own a copy." Tandy had given it to her, and her annoyed expression flickered to sadness before the annoyance and discomfort reasserted itself. "Though I can assure you it was given to me as a joke. And please, don't feel inclined to leave." Adrienne could leave any time she wanted. But she knew she'd have to meet this new Jean eventually, so she might as well get it over with and size her up properly.

Jean nodded. "I figured I'd extend the offer, though. Just in case. I know it's a busy mansion so people keep odd hours," she said. She scooted over a little on the couch.

"You're welcome to join me, if you'd like? I know I'm not going to eat the rest of this pizza, if you're feeling like a late night snack. Apparently they stay open 24 hours."

Grabbing the pizza, Jean took another bite. There was enough cheese to make an entire cow. Chewing thoughtfully, she added after a moment.

"So...are you the odd hours type, or are you having trouble sleeping too?"

The invitation to join her sent Adrienne's emotions roiling within her; a turbulent sea of thoughts, of feelings all pushing for prominence at once. She recalled the pain and worry she'd felt about Jean- her Jean- going missing after Muir. Being imprisoned. The pride at being able to help rescue her. And the plethora of feelings that had come afterwards, culminating in the monstrous sense of loss when she'd realized that Jean wasn't coming back.

And yet here she was, in a way. It was impossible to deny that fact, though Adrienne desperately wanted to. This woman wasn't the Jean that Adrienne had shared secrets with, been on spa days and to the opera with, or explored her own head with. This woman wasn't a copy of her friend, not a forged painting. It was like this Jean was a different painting by the same artist, using the same model. Adrienne could see the similarities in the features, in the light behind the eyes. But the voice, the mannerisms, everything she projected, so much else was different.

Adrienne wanted to scream. She wanted to rage at this Jean about the injustice of it all, about how she'd let this other woman into her heart and now the piece of herself that she'd given to Jean would never come back. She, Adrienne, would never be whole again. And what? Did that asshole Xorn, did the universe just expect that this new painting they'd found could fill the spot on the wall where the other one had been? It was utterly ridiculous.

But it wasn't this person's fault. And she knew that, somewhere within the tumult of thoughts and feelings inside her.

She wanted to run away, to go to the gym and beat the everloving shit out of something. It was all too much.

And then suddenly it was as if her legs went out from under her and she found herself folding onto a couch cushion. Her hands rested on her knees; her face went into her hands and she started to cry, sobbing uncontrollably. The thousands of times she'd berated herself lately to keep her shit together were forgotten in an instant. It was as if the walls she'd thrown up around herself since hearing that a Jean was now living at the mansion had suddenly crashed down around her, and there was nothing she could do to put them back up.

Jean watched the woman break down, collapsing beside her in a storm of tears. She could sense the avalanche of emotions behind her mental walls, pounding on them like a battering ram.A tempest in a teapot.

Obviously something had happened. Likely something to do with whatever the others didn't talk about, M-Day. An emotional trigger. The idea of not being able to do anything to comfort her--she didn't even know her name--didn't settle well with her. She wanted to help. And Jean felt helpless.

Instinctively, Jean reached out to gently put her hand on Adrienne's shoulder. But then she realized she wasn't sure if that would help or not and pulled her hand away. She let her cry it out, not wanting to make her feel pressured.

Adrienne sobbed until she was worn out, almost relieved when she finally stopped, leaning back against the couch in exhaustion. She wiped at her face with the sleeve of her long-sleeved t-shirt. "Shit," she said, sounding raw and shaky, bringing her sock feet up onto the couch so she could pull her knees up to her chest. "Shit. Sorry. It's... it's not you, it's me."

Jean shook her head. "Hey, no judgment here," she said with sincerity and a soft smile. A box of tissues floated into her hands from the side table. She offered her one, then another in case that one got used up.

"I heard you guys lost a lot of people. It's understandable to have a shitload of feelings after a traumatic event. You can't just...turn those feelings off and pretend everything's okay. It's kind of like closing a firecracker in your hand and hoping for the best. I don't mind, really."

After Annie died she'd went to some dark places but she'd eventually pulled through with the help of Charles and her family. And when she'd had to leave everything she ever knew to go to the UK, Moira was there to calm her down and guide her after her telekinesis manifested and she feared hurting people.

She'd seen the same reaction in some of the people she helped. People shunned from their families, hunted. People with powers so dangerous they had to run. Their eyes were haunted, forever turned to the past, like this woman's were now.

Adrienne flinched at Jean's use of the word 'shitload.' That really didn't seem like a Jean kind of word. "Yeah, well. I was doing pretty good for a while keeping everything turned off and pretending everything was okay." She took the tissue from Jean, careful not to touch her, worried that if she did she'd lose it again.

Jean left the tissue box between the two of them, pulling her legs underneath her.

"And then you couldn't anymore," she said, setting the pizza aside entirely. Someone else would eat it, she had no doubt. She'd spotted enough men here that they'd probably descend upon it like locusts and devour it in under 5 seconds.

"I'm sorry," she said, resting her head back against the couch. "I wish there was a magic cure all. It'd make things so much easier."

She lowered her eyes, then smiled with a bit of a glimmer in her eyes.

"I hear there's a punching bag in the gym."

Looking up, Adrienne's hazel eyes met this eerie woman's green ones for the first time. They were so similar to Jean's. Another sob escaped her before she could stop it, but she dug her fingernails into her palms and halted herself from drowning in her emotions once again. Keep your fucking shit together, she ordered herself angrily. "Uhh, yeah. There is." It was so strange to be talking to a version of Jean who didn't know the mansion inside and out. "You... you haven't been to the gym yet?"

Jean laughed, tilting her head with a squint of consideration. "Well...I have, actually. So I guess that should be....'I know there's a punching bag in the gym because I've punched it a couple of times.' I've done some exploring already. Haven't been everywhere yet but...I hit the popular destinations first. The medlab's amazing," she said, the excitement practically radiating off her body. She was fangirling, she knew it.

"I hope they'll let me spend more time down there. It kind of just...felt like home, y'know? I don't know why. It's far too clean than what I'm used to. Not that hospitals aren't clean...they just don't look like something out of a scifi movie."

"Excuse me if I don't share your enthusiasm for the medlab," Adrienne answered, wrinkling her nose. Again, how weird was it that Jean was hoping Cece would let her spend time in the medlab? What a weird Twilight Zone universe this was. "Must be something about the fact that going there, for me, means I've either had a massive psychotic break or broken my leg falling off my motorcycle or that my boyfriend's been mostly-killed by a god and is on death's doorstep." All things this Jean had no recollection of. Adrienne stared at her hands to keep herself from crying any more.

Blinking, Jean paused to make sure she heard what the woman said correctly. "A...god? Huh," she said, quirking a brow.

"That one's new." While she did want to hear about it, about all those things, she instead studied her again, marking the silences, noting the way the woman's emotions seemed to be on a roller coaster. She wasn't sure what would bring her to another twist or turn. But she found herself wanting to comfort her any way she could.

And she didn't even know her name yet.

She smiled softly. "I know that hospitals are always a place where people go when they're at their most dire. And it's life or death. Or they're in pain. After my best friend died when I was a girl...I...felt...helpless. And I wanted to find a way to help stop that feeling. I wanted to heal people, make them better. And so...I know the medlab is somewhere no one wants to go. I absolutely understand. But for me, it's a place where...if a person has to go...I can help them. To be on the other side, knowing that in this place I can make a difference, is why I'm so excited."

She shrugged. "Just like any job, it does have it's problems, though. I'm not going to lie. But the good outweighs the bad, mostly. I can run a caffeine drip if needed."

It was a slight comfort to know that Jean still loved caffeine. And that she still had the same philosophy about her career, her calling, as Adrienne thought of it. Her friend had still died when she was a child. What a world this was. "Have you been to Coffee Quake yet?" she asked, managing to look this Jean in the eyes again, making sure her mental walls were solid.

Jean shook her head. "I've not gotten around to exploring the entirety of Salem Center yet. I figure I'd allow myself some more surprises. I found the pizza place and a doughnut shop, Donutulas, but it was closed by the time I went to go get the pizza. It sounds good, though. I foresee it facilitating a lot of all nighters. Are they open late?"

She smirked. "I have an interview tomorrow for a fellowship at one of the city hospitals. I should be sleeping but my brain has decided that pizza and bad movies are the better way to go."

Despite the objections of the petty part of her brain, which was still warning her to run away and not befriend this OtherJean, Adrienne found herself relaxing slightly, uncurling from the ball she'd put herself into and snagging a piece of pizza after ascertaining that it was a margherita. It would appear that Kane was right once again. She couldn't go back to being the cold hearted mega-bitch she'd been before, keeping everyone at arm's length to avoid her own pain. She was no longer that person. And even if she sometimes hated that fact, she couldn't go backwards. Only forwards. "Maybe that's not your brain. Maybe that's your subconscious telling you that you don't want to work in the city.

"And Donutula's is usually open stoner-hours," she informed the redhead with a smirk, before realizing that it might be different here. "At least, they used to be. Maybe that's changed since... New Year's Eve."

Jean quirked a brow. Ah, M-Day. It was possible people could have gotten scared and a bit more rigid with their schedules. But that wasn't the only reason why she was looking at her funny.

She laughed. "Why wouldn't I want to work in the city? I have to get more experience somehow. And I'd rather get that with complete strangers before I have to work on my fellow mansioneers. God forbid, of course." She knew it could happen. It'd apparently happened before. So she wanted to be ready.

"I'm general surgery already, with an unofficial emphasis in mutant related care. I'd like to branch out into more forms of medicine."

She paused after a moment.

"And I'm suddenly craving donuts."

"I suppose, as someone who tends to need to get 'worked on' with a completely unacceptable frequency, I should thank you for wanting to get experience on strangers." Adrienne paused and looked at the other woman again. It was getting easier to look at her. Easier to keep the memories of her deceased friend close by in her thoughts but recognize that she was now talking to a different person. And easier to understand that she shouldn't feel guilty about that. Her friend would want her to make new connections, to keep the walls around her heart down and make new friends, right? It seemed like something Jean would say. Jean had definitely had a sappy side. Wasn't that why she and Kane had been friends?

"I happen to know firsthand that there's a cupcake ATM in the city," Adrienne told her with a crook of her eyebrow. "Would a cupcake serve your donut craving instead?"

Tilting her head, Jean grinned. "Wow, I can tell it's been awhile since I've lived in Manhattan. Cupcakes will absolutely substitute," she said. She thought about it a moment.

"Though by the time we got back the sun would probably be up and I do need to get some sleep. My chances would dwindle significantly if they thought they were potentially employing a zombie. Raincheck for after the interview's over? The subsequent sugar high and crash would help." Or do the opposite, but she was trying to be realistic.

Adrienne nodded, polishing off the piece of pizza and getting up off the couch. "Rain cheque it is. I'm Adrienne, by the way," she said, pushing down the last vestiges of her own heartache and offering a hand to the redhead. "Frost. Nice to meet you."

Rising to meet her level, Jean took Adrienne's hand with a smile. "Jean Grey. Nice to meet you as well, Adrienne Frost. I should probably be heading to bed. Good night," she said, then eyed the clock. "Er..morning."

She could function on three hours of sleep. She'd done it before. It was just like preparing for work, right?