Scott and Kitty - New Beginnings (Backdated to 3-18)

[xp-shadowcat.livejournal.com]

Kitty returns to the mansion. When she sees Scott, she realizes how little--and how much--things have changed.

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Falling.

The word popped into Kitty's head as the yellow cab pulled into the circular drive. Snow was falling from the sky, large flakes swirling and drifting as they trembled down from the late winter sky. The crystals made her think not of ice but of leaves. Years ago, when she had come to this place for the first time, it had been leaves that were falling all around her and her parents as they walked up the long sidewalk. Brown, yellow, red... some like the shady oaks in Deerfield, others that she hadn't recognized. But the sensation of floating, of falling--that was familiar then, as it was familiar now.

She paid the driver and stepped out of the taxi. The door handle was so cold it stung her fingers when she shut the door but Kitty barely noticed. Her eyes were on the grounds, looking for traces of snow angels or footfalls. Anything to tell her that while she had grown up, the last place she thought of as eternal hadn't changed. That students still dashed across the fields and threw snowballs, or built snowmen with three arms or psychic helmets. Kitty blinked with the memory and smiled.

"Well, just because you didn't see it doesn't mean it's not there," she said bravely, tugging her backpack up on her left shoulder and marching forward. Gone was the three-piece pink luggage set she had drug angrily down the sidewalk the first time she came. She brought little with her this time. After all, there was no guarantee she could stay.

Kitty touched the Star of David at her throat, rubbing it against her thumb for a moment before she lifted her hand and knocked.

Please answer, she thought. Her hand dropped, her mouth suddenly dry as she realized she no longer was certain of who was behind that door.

"You know you're 10 minutes late, that means we get our pizza for free right?" Scott asked distractedly as he pulled the door open. Things around the mansion had been, well strained was probably underselling it, people really didn't know what to make of everything. It was like most people were walking around in a daze half the time trying to wrap their heads around all the changes,but he figured a nice relaxing activity, something like pizza and a movie was just what the...his brain shied away from the thought, what everyone needed to get their feet under them. Only the woman standing in front of him definitely wasn't the pizza lady.

The X-man's brow furrowed in concentration as he looked at he, there was something about the woman that was familiar. "I'm sorry, I was expecting the pizza man, can I help you Ms..." his voice tailed off, "Kitty? is that you?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't bring any pizza but..." Her voice grew small as her courage failed her. "Yeah. It's me."

She looked up at Scott, her eyes wide and wondering.

"Hey stranger, long time no see, come on in," he stepped back from the doorway, "you shoulda rung, we could have picked you up, saved you the cab fare. What are you doing back in the old digs?" Something wasn't right about this, "is everything ok?" Scott was still getting used to the memories Xorn had planted in his head but there was definitely something off about Kitty, she seemed fragile, prone to break at any minute. That wasn't something Scott was used to seeing from the woman.

"Everything is..." She hesitated. How do I answer that? Kitty just stood there for a moment, shaking her head. Pull yourself back together, Pryde.

She gave her necklace one last tug, then forced her face to brighten. "I just thought I'd pay the old stomping grounds a visit, 's all. How've you been?"

"Oh you know how life around here is, it never really changes," Scott noted with a wry smile.. "Different faces but the same problems. That's the nice thing about the mansion, it's kinda steady place in all the craziness around us. Although it's good to see you. You're always welcome to come back, we've missed seeing you around the mansion," Scott noted with a smile, "It's always nice to catch up and see how you're doing in the world out there. you know how it is, living vicariously through others, the curse of the teacher."

"Yeah." She let her arm relax and set her backpack down by the door. There was still a little tremble in her step though there was something about Scott that soothed her. He was a rock, always had been. She thought to herself that perhaps there was a little of Charles in him.

Kitty smiled up at Scott, then asked, "Think we could go somewhere a little more private to talk? I'd like to catch up but-" Her hand circled aimlessly in the air as a little choke cut off the words.

"Sure," Scott gave Kitty a questioning look, "My office is just up this way, we can talk in there. People don't really like to come and bug the man who makes the danger room schedule in his office," he noted with a laugh.

She took a breath, then nodded. There were thirteen years of distance between her and this place, yet the halls transported her back as if she'd never left. The problem was, that Kitty wasn't someone she knew very well either, anymore. She'd gone into the world and it had changed her but not in the ways that she'd wanted to change.

Kitty opened her mouth to try and tell Scott some of that when a knock interrupted. Instead of a frown, she found her lips twisting upward as she said, "I think your pizza's finally here."

Scott laughed, "Took him long enough," he noted reaching for the front door to pick up the pizza, "No way are they getting paid for this delivery. I nearly died of starvation." Scott winked at Kitty before he pulled open the door.

It was apparent from the dazed look on the driver's face that the pizza had been a few places before it ever came near the mansion. Kitty kept her mouth closed until the transaction had concluded and the door shut once again.

"Maybe he had to go pick it up from another dimension," Kitty offered. "Open that box and you'll find out it's like Cthulu pizza. Little tentacles everywhere." Her brown ponytail bobbed as she shook her head. "Should've held the anchovies, Scott."

"Well you know how it is, my father is a pirate I've got the sea fever in my veins, gotta get my helping of that sea salt," Scott grinned at hte younger woman, "It's what gives me my pep and get up and go in the morning."

She sniffed the box. "Pretty sure this get up and go already got up and went." She grinned for a minute, then said, "You going to lead me to your office? I don't know if I remember where it is. It's been..." She hesitated. "What? Thirteen years? I hope that's not unlucky."

"If anyone at the mansion finds out I've got pizza it will definitely be up and gone before you realize it," Scott countered with a grin, "I don't think you've seen my office here have you?" Thirteen years, he'd barely gotten back from college when she left the mansion, it certainly didn't feel that long. "I'm just down the hall, opposite side of the building from Charles."

"No, I guess I haven't seen it." She shook her head. "It's a little odd to think that you have an office. Then again, I was just a kid when I left here."

"It is a big mansion, I think everyone has an office these days," Scott noted before smiling, "Of course mine is the best of the lot, I have the most comfortable couch in the corner. THere have to be some perks after all."

"True, that." Kitty waited until after they were in his office to say anything more. Her eyes lingered on the walls for a moment as she stood there, wondering who the man was that she was next to. Even if they had been close

Scott dropped the pizza onto the coffee table, pulling out some paper napkins and gesturing at the comfortable couch he'd positioned in the corner, "Grab a seat and a slice," he offered taking his own advice and sinking into the couch, "So, what's on your mind?"

She hesitated, then took a slice, curling herself into the corner. It wasn't until after she'd taken a bite that Kitty spoke. "I'm here because I decided that I couldn't hide anymore."

The woman fell silent, staring into a dimpled piece of pepperoni.

"You couldn't hide anymore?" Scott echoed giving Kitty a concerned look, "Hide from what or whome?" he put down his slice of pizza and slide forward, "What's wrong Kitty? What's going on?"

"I..." She stared down at her hands. "You know, I thought when I left that I could sort of pretend that I wasn't a mutant and that would make me happy. Kind of like Pinocchio wanting to be a real boy."

Her face lifted to his, her eyes shining. "It doesn't work like that, Scott."

Kitty swallowed, shaking her head. "New Year's Eve... something happened. I can't explain it, maybe no one can. It doesn't make any sense and yet, when I was told, I knew it was true. But I couldn't tell anyone how I knew, not where I was, because they didn't know I was...this." She let her hand drop, sliding it through the couch and pulling it back up again to go solid on her lap.

"Kitty..." Scott looked over at her tracing the pain on her face and in her voice. He had lived through the pheonix, but she, and the others, had lived through the entire world as they knew it ending. In the midst of his own grief, it had been too easy to over look that. "I'm sorry, I...all of us hoped that you could find that happiness. Your letters, they let us see that someone could make it." The X-man sighed, "I'm sorry for...I'm just sorry." he reached over to hold her hand, "What happened?"

She felt his fingers close over hers. Without even thinking, her hand slipped through his.

Kitty gulped as she watched it rise, almost as though it was detached from the rest of her phased body and forced herself to focus. Closing her eyes for a moment, she pushed through her fear and managed to go solid again.

"It's okay," she said and found that saying the words made it feel almost like it was. Or perhaps it was just that Scott was so ready to comfort her, without judging or assuming that it was all somehow her fault. Her mind flashed to her mother and she forced it back again, before she could slide back down into the guilt. Her fingers reached up to toy with her necklace before she said, "A... friend of mine was driving home from a party and a car on the road--the person in it just disappeared." Her mouth tightened, then she said, "I guess you know the rest. Can figure it out anyhow."

"You it isn't your fault right" Scott asked her softly, she had no part, no blame if what had really happened. "It's," Scott's voice faded as he leaned back in his chair, his thoughts racing. He wanted nothing more to tell Kitty the truth and hope that that knowledge would alleviate some of the suffering he saw in her, as if all the suffering of the world had crystallized into the woman opposite him. But he couldn't do that, the truth now and forever was only something that would be locked in the darkest depths of his mind. "In one second, one mad terrible second the whole world turned upside down," he told her quietly. "We saw our friends, our loved ones, our hopes and dreams all fade and wither and turn to ash. But we're still here, and somehow we have to pick ourselves up. 'The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy'" he quoted, "True then, and true now, But you have friends and family here Kitty, willing to grieve with you, be there for you and move forward together if you want."

"Thanks, Scott." Kitty looked up at him.

It was the part "if you want" that squeezed her heart just a little bit. She'd spent the past few months being told how she was--or wasn't--supposed to grieve, the past decade being told how to act. And here was Scott telling her that her feelings were her own. It shouldn't have been an epiphany and yet... it was.

Swallowing, she crossed her arms and leaned back. "For now...could I just come here...as I'm able, as I feel able...maybe stay a while? Not all the nights maybe but..." Her voice trailed off, not sure how to ask what she wanted to ask. I want to come home but I don't know how.

"Of course, you know that. You can always come back for as long as you want whenever you need, one thing about this place, the doors are always open to family. And you'e part of this family Kitty, whatever you need, that's what we're here for." Scott gave the younger woman a concerned look, "Do you need some help getting your stuff and moving in?"

Kitty took a deep breath, then managed a grin. "Nope." She kicked the backpack at her feet. "I travel light."

Leaning forward, she said, her eyes quietly grateful, "Thanks, Scott. Family... that means a lot."