Adrienne & Wade | Late Friday Morning (backdated)

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

Adrienne and Wade decide to buy out the cupcake ATM.


"If we were really smart," Adrienne murmured as Wade swung his car up Lexington towards the cupcake ATM, "we would have come here before the sparring session. Take advantage of the earlier hour. Because they may not be fully stocked anymore. And then the brilliant plan to buy out the dispenser would be foiled, and where would we be?"

"In possession of lots of cupcakes but not as wide a variety of cupcakes?" Wade offered. "Speaking of, where are we going to deliver all these cupcakes once we have them? I mean, I can eat all of them, sure, but couldn't we take them somewhere and give them to people?"

"Uhh, yeah I figured that was the plan." Adrienne smirked at him. "I know you have crazy metabolism or whatever, but I still have a model's vanity in regards to my figure. And no jokes about me needing to carb up so I can beat you in our next sparring match," she warned him, pointing a finger threateningly. "Cuz just so you know, I totally let you win. Being repeatedly hurled to the mat makes me feel better about life for some reason," she mused. "Therapeutic or some shit."

"Cathartic," Wade said, nodding. "So are we doing like. A school or a homeless shelter or just dropping them all in the kitchen at the mansion?"

"You're driving so you can decide," Adrienne acquiesced. "We could always take them to... her uncle's soup kitchen." She'd been having trouble mentioning Tandy by name lately, which she was sure Rogue would have some comments about if she found out about it.

Wade didn't say anything for a few long moments, taking a right at a red light before saying, "Yeah, we could do that. Is it... in the same place where it was?"

Adrienne toyed with her lighter. "Yeah. I... I was over there last week. We needed to talk about... some of her things." She pulled a cigarette out of the silver case in her purse and then remembered she was in Wade's car and put it behind her ear, though she continued to flick her Zippo open and shut. "The will reading's held up by the fact that there's no... she's just..." There was no body, no confirmation that she was actually dead other than the fact that the Tandy they'd known hadn't come with them to the new universe and Julian had heard from a Sue Storm none of them knew that a Tandy Bowen she'd vaguely heard of had gone missing in the New Year events.

"Yeah," Wade said, nodding his understanding. He had no idea what had actually happened to Molly. He'd had confirmation of death for Matt, at least. Not that it made him happy. But for all he knew, Molly had gotten buried in rubble somewhere and suffocated or inhaled some sort of gas when the mansion was blowing up and just passed out - gotten left behind. His grip on the steering wheel tightened, knuckles whitening. "So what kind of cupcakes does this miraculous confectionery dispenser offer?"

"It rotates throughout the week," Adrienne explained, happy to change the subject to something benign. "Red velvet is their signature so they always have that. Then there are always a couple gluten-free options. In terms of regular, there are always black-and-white, vanilla, vanilla milk chocolate, dark chocolate triple cinnamon, and cinnamon sugar. Hopefully they aren't sold out of chocolate marshmallow today. Those are my favourite. Depending on the day of the week, there'll be banana, coconut, Cuban coffee, chocolate coconut, lemon, peanut butter chocolate, milk chocolate, chai latte, pumpkin, and carrot. Then there are seasonal specials each month. This month there's raspberry chocolate chip and salty caramel." She rattled all this information off without thinking twice, and only then realized that it probably wasn't healthy that she knew the entire menu of the cupcake ATM off by heart.

Wade snorted a small laugh despite himself. "Jeez, McFrosty. I'm impressed." He took another turn, then pulled into a parking lot a block or so away from the cupcake dispenser. "I've got some bags in the back we can use to carry the cupcakes. If we do clean it out and can't carry them back, I'll pull the car up to the curb."

"That sounds like a plan." Adrienne nodded gamely. "And shut up," she muttered at his laugh. "I'm going to get incredibly fat in this new universe." Her tone was a little bitter and she wrinkled her nose. "It dulls the blow of new Warrens and new Jeans and such."

"Yeah, new Warren," Wade said, frowning as they got out of the car and headed for the cupcake ATM. "That was a kick to the head. He's very... different."

"Oh, shit," Adrienne murmured, eyes going wide in surprise as they crossed the street. "I forgot about you and... the other Warren. Sorry, Cowpoke." She hadn't been at the mansion during that time, of course, but there weren't a lot of secrets to be kept at the mansion. And Wade wasn't exactly a blushing flower. "Kick to the head's probably an understatement, huh? Have you met him yet?"

"Yeah, it was weird," Wade said. "He was all... let me educate you about fabric and texture and color and whatever. Yeah, alright." He frowned again. "Called him Flyboy. Asked him to go away. Felt guilty. Asked about suits."

"Well, your fashion sense does leave something to be desired sometimes," Adrienne teased. "An opinion I will continue to harbour," she warned him, "until you let me make you one suit." She reached the ATM and touched the screen to scroll through the cupcake choices. "Yesss! They still have some chocolate marshmallow. And the Warren we knew did co-own a clothing shop with me," she carried on, though now she was distracted by cupcakes. "So that doesn't seem too different. But he is a terribly shameless flirt. I don't think he realizes my boyfriend can snap him in half like a biscotti."

"Sure, you can make me a suit. I'll even stand still so you can take measurements or whatever," Wade said, scanning the passersby around them to make sure no one was paying them any attention. They were treading dangerous ground as it was. "To be honest, before... he always seemed more interested in getting me out of my clothes. Hasn't been an issue in years, obviously, but it's just... very weird. Very, very weird."

Adrienne gave him a sympathetic look and debated making a comment about the fragile male ego, but let it pass. She wasn't in any position to tease him about finding it weird that Warren wasn't flirting with him. If he hadn't been flirting with her, Adrienne was certain she'd feel the same way. "Or you could have your girlfriend take your measurements," she told him suggestively, waggling her eyebrows at him. As she did she caught him scanning people on the street and followed his gaze. "Trouble?"

"Nah, just... I don't know, we should probably talk about something other than other other people," Wade said, turning to look at the options Adrienne was flipping through. He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and flipped through the available credit cards until he found one he felt like using. Passing it over, he said, "Right, let's load up. I want some of the milk chocolate ones but nothing with coconut. Not a fan. Did they have red velvet?"

Grinning, Adrienne took the credit card. "They do have red velvet! And sugar-free red velvet, and gluten-free red velvet. And maybe you don't like coconut but I do." She looked back at him, a very serious expression on her face. "Should we just get all of them?" The shop was still open, so they could restock before the day was over. It wasn't like they were going to be assholes for buying everything, right? "I think we deserve all the cupcakes after the way we beat each other up today."

Wade pretended to consider that question in depth for several long moments before nodding solemnly. "Yes. Yes, I think you're right. We deserve all the cupcakes for that sparring session. Proceed with the purchasing of said cupcakes. All of them. Seriously, though, should I go get the car?"

Adrienne frowned at the screen contemplatively. "Seriously, though? I think you might have to go rent a van," she teased.

"I've got a trunk and a spacious backseat," Wade said, eyeing the machine suspiciously. "But I can rent a van, too, if we legit need it. You keep buying, I'll go get the car."

Adrienne kept buying cupcakes until she maxed out the card Wade had given her and then started using her own, taking each one out of the dispenser and putting them one by one on the pavement in front of her, building a pile. Then it became a castle. There were turrets and everything. Adrienne was almost sad when Wade brought the car around and she knew she'd have to dismantle it.

"Wow," Wade said, pulling his mobile out of his pocket. "That's pretty damn impressive, McFrosty," he continued as he began taking pictures. He could just barely make out her hair over the top of the castle wall. "I'ma start loading these up, don't let me interrupt your architectural genius, though. Pay no attention to the guy behind the cupcake boxes."

She was glad he was impressed, half expecting him to be upset by the small crowd that was starting to gather. Some seemed pleased by the architecture of the cupcake boxes, but several were frowning. Probably upset that they were cleaning out the entire ATM and not understanding that the actual bakery was next door and the thing would be restocked within minutes. "Maybe I missed my calling," she mused to Wade with a grin, ignoring the other people and focusing on grabbing the last cupcakes out of the dispenser instead. "Clearly I should have been a cupcake castle sculptor." She placed them in a line going out from where the door would be, making a bridge. "There!"

"I mean, you're already like a fashion designer mogul person or something fancy," Wade said. "Branch out into other design stuff. They'd probably give you a TV show." He continued moving the cupcake boxes from the castle to the car, pausing long enough to give a couple to passing kids after brief eyebrow conversations with their parents. They were giving bunches of them away, anyway. And it kept the gathered crowd from getting upset with him - you couldn't be upset with people who were giving sugary confections to kids. It was like a law of physics or something.

"I could use a tv show," Adrienne answered, gazing thoughtfully skyward. "I think my problem is that I can't bake. So I would have to hire a cupcake baker. You wanna have a job on my tv show? You can bake, right?"

Wade laughed at that. "Oh God, no. I mean. I can grill. I can't bake, though. That's basically impossible. Why don't you just branch out to like. I dunno. Domino sculptures or something? Or building blocks? Oh, I know, Legos!"

"Legos?" Adrienne helped him pack cupcake boxes into the car, handing some out as well. "The blocks, right? Not the waffles? Do you actually have any of the blocks? I've never had any. Maybe we could trade cupcakes for Legos somewhere."

"Right, the little blocks you click into place," Wade said, nodding along. "I'm sure we've got some back at the mansion somewhere. Or I'll stop somewhere on the way home. They have all these different sets so you can build, like, the Empire State building or whatever."

The crowd began to disperse as the car was loaded and the hand-outs handed out to the lot of them. "I don't wanna make stuff that's already been designed, though," Adrienne complained with a wrinkle of her nose. "Where's the fun in that? Unless you can mash all the sets together and make a Frankempirestate Building that's half... Sydney Opera House and half Empire State..."

"Ha!" Wade said, carefully placing the last of the cupcake boxes in the backseat of the car. He closed the door, shut the trunk, and went over to open the passenger door for Adrienne with a flourish. "Yes, you can totally do building mashups - they do it with songs all the time, right? Like there's a Sam Smith one that's smooshed with Ed Sheeran. I like that one. So yes, smooshed Lego sets. I approve. This is a thing I will enable."

"You should come with me under the cover of darkness one night to break into the High Line to smoosh some weird shit together and make what the media will probably refer to as a 'public art installation'," Adrienne suggested, "since you're being an enabler. Ooo! Or that room in that building that's completely filled with dirt. We should fuck around with that and smoosh some stuff in it."

"I'm down," Wade said before closing the door and walking over to the driver's seat. He got in and started the car before buckling up, checking his mirrors, and pulling into traffic. They had a lot of squishable cupcakes in there, after all, which meant making things fall over would be a bad thing. "Just gimme the when and where, I'll be there. With bells on, even. Maybe. But unless it's completely electronic, I expect you to pull your weight with lockpicking. I've spent enough time working with you on the five tumbler locks, I think we can switch to something more complicated."

"Ooo, yes please. I don't have a criminal record in this universe," Adrienne pointed out. "I think we should tempt fate."

"And if it's completely electronic, we'll call Doug," Wade said, nodding. "This is a good plan." He was starting to smell the unmistakable scent of sugar over the faint leather smell that lingered in his car. Which meant he was probably going to chow down on a couple of those cupcakes once they got to their destination. "Let's see if we can get you arrested."