Log: Doug and Laurie

[x-wallflower-.livejournal.com]

Backdated to April 13th, at around 8:30pm.

Laurie propositions Doug about their relationship.



Laurie twined her arm around Doug's waist and kissed him on the neck as he made popcorn, the sound of Marie-Ange and Wade discussing movie choices a comforting backdrop.

"I like this, us, all together."

Doug did his best to lean back and relax at least a little bit into Laurie's embrace. "Yeah," he said, a bit distracted. For all that Marie-Ange had skewered him and punctured his illusions about himself that morning, he knew that it wasn't malicious. And she had gotten spicy food and arranged the movie night because there were some things he couldn't discuss with his therapist.

"I'm not jealous, you know. Just in case that's what's holding you back."

Laurie rubbed her thumb along his abs, dipping her head to rest between his shoulders. She knew the conversation between Marie-Ange and he this morning had been difficult, they'd both told her bits of it, two separate conversations when she'd noticed the slight tension between them. It had seemed like a perfect opportunity to bring up something that had been avoided for awhile now.

Doug's slight relaxation turned back into tension, and he stared blankly at the microwave, as if the popping kernels and expanding bag of popcorn were the most fascinating thing ever. "Holding me back?" he repeated quietly.

"From Wade and Marie-Ange, I mean. I'm not into them in a sexy time way like you are, but I don't have to be as long as we all agree to what sort of relationship we want. Mostly, I think we just have to all talk it out. Given how tense you get whenever they're brought up in that sort of way, I figured you might be worried that I'd be weird."

Laurie continued to hold him, despite the tension she could now feel in his back. She needed him to know that this was okay, and that she was okay with it.

"What?" Doug asked a bit shrilly. "I...we..." he sputtered, his first instinct panic. Then denial. Then more panic. Then sheer embarrassment at the implication in Laurie's words. He twisted a bit in Laurie's arm, but she held him tight, not letting him give in to the urge to get away that raced through his body. "Relationship? But I...we...you..." He couldn't seem to make complete sentences come together.

~When you catch up with the rest of us you will understand.~ Did that mean...? Doug's heart hammered in his chest.

"Is it really that hard to see? You and Marie-Ange have loved each other since you were teenagers, and Wade loves you both. They'd have said something sooner I think, but you've been through so much; and they probably weren't quite sure that I'd be okay either."

Laurie would have made this easier for him if she could, but she'd learnt not to use her powers without the permission of the other person.

Doug shook his head, not really believing what Laurie was telling him. That couldn't be right. She must have been mistaken, Marie-Ange wouldn't... ~you could have had 31 if you wanted but nooooooooooo someone is ridiculous~

"I don't understand," he said quietly.

Laurie released him and used her now free hand to brush her thumb along his jaw, her eyes affectionate and kind.

"I know you know what polyamory is, you know every word in every language. I know how difficult you've found the last few years. You just need to remember that normal is merely the set of conditions that lend themselves best to your continued existence and happiness. Any other benchmark is simply a construct of a society that wishes to police its citizens lives due to convuluted, archaic power structures and Daddy issues."

Polyamory. Doug tried it in several other languages in his head, to see if the sentences made any more sense when translated. But they didn't, and he just gaped at Laurie as if she was an alien or something. "But aren't we supposed to..." Be monogamous. Restrained. -Normal-. He'd tried for so long to keep his Hellfire Club activities separate from his relationships, maintain a distance between the things he did and who he was.

But as Marie-Ange had pointed out, he'd been clinging to the illusion of normalcy that had never really been there.

"You know, 'supposed to' is not a good thing to base any decision on, let alone your happiness. What is it you're afraid of? I love you. Do you think I'm going to up and leave because we let two other people who love you into our relationship? Who else am I going to trust to keep you safe for me? Well, other then you but they're there for when you can't keep you safe."

Laurie smiled, still stroking his cheek, she'd had more then enough time to think about what Marie-Ange and Wade were to Doug, and what he was to them. At first, she'd been worried that she might not fit into that equation but then she'd realised that she need'nt worry. Relationships were about communication, after all. Now she just had to get Doug to the point where he'd have that conversation.

"But...what about you?" So far this had all been about him, and that was perhaps what had held Doug back from even thinking about the possibility Laurie was articulating. The sense that he was being too selfish, wanting too much out of his life and relationship. "I mean, I want to be fair to what you need?"

"I'm not that altruistic, Doug. I'll be getting just as much as you, I just don't need the same things from them as you do. Besides, it's not just our decision. We still have to talk to Marie-Ange and Wade, as they need to say what they need too. This was more to let you know it's okay with me, but we don't have to make any rushed decisions."

Laurie leaned against him and caught his mouth in a rather serious kiss before pushing the microwave door open behind him. The popcorn was done, and from what she could hear, MA and Wade would come looking soon.

"Just think about it, and talk to them. Have them talk to me, we'll all work out how to go forward after that."

"O...okay." Doug stumbled along with the popcorn in hand. He had no idea how this had all happened, but even if it felt like he'd been caught up in a whirlwind, it was a whirlwind of possibilities.