Xavin & Wade | Sunday Afternoon

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

Xavin's in the kitchen making questionable food choices. Wade offers a burrito, then introductions.


There was a lot of stuff to do at the mansion. Every time Xavin thought this was the end of the place, something else appeared. The Danger Room was apparently an obstacle course on crack, to use with adult supervision only. The gym (blech), all kinds of things in the grounds, the rec room.

The options were limitless.

And, as a result, Xavin was sitting at a table in the kitchen, a bag of pretzels and some cheez dip that tasted kind of like ass out on the table, very very carefully trying to construct a pretzel and cheez-glue tower.

"Oh, edible tower," Wade said, walking into the kitchen like a man on a mission. His mission, actually, was 'find food' because he was starving. He wasn't sure why he was starving, except perhaps for the fact that he'd been doing a lot more training than usual. But that was logical and he wasn't in the mood for logic. He wanted some of those cheezy pretzel things. And also a few hot dogs. And possible several bloomin' onions - why did the Outback Steakhouse not deliver?

"It's not edible. The pretzels are stale and I think something died to make that cheez dip. It's ....wrong. So wrong." The cheez-glue had reached peak holding capacity and half the tower fell over.

"I have a healing factor and no shame," Wade said, reaching over to snag a few cheez-covered pretzel pieces. "Mm..." He nommed on his handful of questionable pretzels as he wandered toward the walk-in freezer. Maybe no one had found all his frozen burritos. "Hello, by the way. I'm Wade."

"Man, that's --- do you even know where my hands have been?" Xavin asked. "Um. Nice to meet you. I'm Xavin."

Wade considered that for a moment, then shrugged as he walked into the freezer. He called back, "Healing factor. It really doesn't matter where your hands have been. And anyway, I've eaten some pretty awful things in my time. These pretzels are like... we'll say two times better than Maeng Kee Noon. Which wasn't as bad as you might think. The Golden Mountain Sauce and the Thai Pepper Powder kind of made it tasty."

"I have no idea what that even is." Xavin folded the ruined remains of the leaning tower of pretzel up in a napkin and dumped all of it in the trash.

"I would've eaten that," Wade called, having heard the food go into the trash. "Hey, are you a vegetarian or anything?"

'cos I'm from LA or 'cos you think I'm maybe a lesbian? "Nope!"

"You want a chicken or a beef burrito? I got a bean and rice one, too, if you want, but I try and save those for McFrosty," Wade said, sticking his head out of the freezer, eyebrows raised.

"Beef, please, if it's not too much trouble." Xavin sat back down again and asked, "McFrosty?"

"Adrienne Frost," Wade answered, coming out of the freezer and letting it swing closed behind him. "Of business and fashion fame. Her sister's McSparkles." He smiled as he continued, "And Maeng Kee Noon are beetles. They're eaten kind of like bar nuts - with beer."

Xavin blinked slightly, far too cool to look grossed out by the thought of bugs. "Cool. What do they taste like?" The rest of what he'd said got shunted off into 'people here talk about weird stuff'. A lot of filler went into that.

"Depends on the flavoring," Wade said, considering that for a long moment before he got down to actually fixing their burritos. "Like, what you put on top. Mostly they're just... crunchy."

"You put flavouring on them?" There was a pause. "So, where do I try these?"

"I mean, that's what the Mountain Sauce and the pepper powder's for, flavoring," Wade said. "The really good ones are in Thailand, but I could try frying some up. Mostly I grill, but I'd be willing to attempt Maeng KeeNoon."

"That would be pretty cool. A little gross but cool."

"That's what I thought," Wade agreed, plating both their burritos before sticking them in the microwave. "So I'll see if I can find any of the right kind of beetle. Maybe at the Asian market in town." He frowned a little as he thought about that, then quirked a brow and asked, "So you're new. What're you in for?"

"You make it sound like it's some kind of rap sheet or something," Xavin said. "Like, 'I got 16 years for eye lasers and you got 5 for ... for telekinesis."

"Healing factor, actually," Wade said. "And some other stuff." But he smiled as he said it. "Enhanced strength and reflexes, to be specific."

"Cool." Xavin leaned back against one of the benches. "So... what do you do here? Are you like, a powers teacher or...."

"I do some self-defense teaching," Wade said. "Mostly not official, but people who're advanced enough to get specialized training for whatever reason. Mostly I work with the spy-types, though."

"There are--?" Xavin gave a headshake. "'course there are. So you'll be pleased to know that I have cat-like reflexes." The kid looked away for a moment. "Or at least, reflexes like a sleeping cat. So, you know, late and not that great."

Wade considered Xavin for a long moment, then asked very seriously, "How good is your surprised face? I feel like if you're doing the sleeping cat thing, your surprised and indignant face have to be pretty epic." The microwave dinged, so he moved to take out the burritos so he could slide one across the counter.

"It's so epic sometimes I even shapeshift," Xavin replied, picking foil off the burrito and blowing on singed fingers.

"Oh, nice," Wade said, offering his fist for a bump. "Can you do people or do you do like an actual cat?" His expression twitched just the slightest bit, sadness overlaying his enthusiasm for his burrito, but it was gone a moment later.

Xavin gave the bitterest smile. "Just into myself, unfortunately. I can't do a cat. Things would be way cooler if I could."

Expression quizzical, mouth full of burrito, Wade asked, "Just yourself?"

"I don't turn into ... fifty different people, with different faces. I just turn into another person who looks like me."

"And that's a bad thing?"

"You tell me." Xavin took a deep breath and put down the burrito. Eyes closed, they shifted, teenaged boy to girl. "Do you reckon that that goes down well in school?"

Wade gave a shoulder shrug, taking another bite of his burrito before saying, somewhat philosophically, "In a place full of assholes - and all teenagers are assholes, no matter how awesome they can be sometimes - I don't think being different at all goes down well. Least it didn't when I was in school."

Xavin shifted again, took a bite of the burrito. "Something like that. Least I'm not out as a mutant at school yet."

"What, here? Or at your old school? Cause you don't have to be out anywhere you don't wanna be," Wade said. "This place is safe. Mostly. I mean, most of the time. Barring extenuating circumstances like, I dunno, demons or something."

"Ima gonna ignore that demons thing. I don't even want to know. No, here as in the school you bus us into every day."

Wade smiled a little. "Like I said, you don't have to be if you don't wanna." He took another bite of burrito and chewed almost thoughtfully for a long moment. "The demons thing's only happened like. Maybe. Three times, since I've been here." He wouldn't mention he'd only been at the mansion for four years. Ish.

"Great. Life in the mutant closet. Good to know what I have to look forward to, then."

"Hey, turn that frown upside down," Wade said. "It's not ideal, nobody likes having to hide who and what they are, but this is a good place to get things sorted out. And y'know. Meet people you don't have to hide from. People who'll accept you for you, no qualifications or caveats."

"Is everyone here a social worker now?"

"No, but we're all mutants, so we're all pretty big on not judging other people," Wade said, eyebrows rising.

"I beg your pardon." Xavin bent over the burrito, concentrating on picking out the peppers on each bite.

"No worries. Just the first time I've ever been compared to a social worker." Wade's expression spoke volumes about how weird that was.

"No offence, mister, but for a guy I never met before, you talk like one, once you stop with the beetles."

"Huh," Wade said, taking another bite of his burrito and chewing thoughtfully for a long moment. "I'm turning 55 this year. I was a mercenary for a really long time. Now I work for the spies." Quirking an eyebrow, he asked, "Sound less like a social worker now?"

"Yeah, now you're just terrifying." It was only mostly a joke.

Wade laughed. "Aw, don't worry. I use my powers for good! Most of the time."

"Uhuh." The look Xavin gave him was frankly disbelieving. "Thanks for the burrito, man."

"You're welcome," Wade said, smiling now.