Angel & Clint | Friday Afternoon

[x-hawkeye.livejournal.com]

Clint and Angel discuss their contingency plans should they ever face the zombie apocalypse.


Clint had wedged himself into the corner of the couch, half propped up against the arm and half against the back, with his legs stretched out, feet resting on the coffee table. He had a pillow under one arm so Angel could lay on him without worrying about his lumpy chest and some of the neuroscience papers Laurie had emailed him resting on his lap. Turning the page one handed, he paused his reading to stare off into space for a moment, then tipped his head to the side and asked, "In the event of a zombie apocalypse, assuming you weren't turned into a zombie at ground zero or whatever, what would you do?"

Angel, for her part, was perfectly comfy, curled up with Clint, legs drawn up with a tablet resting against them as she skimmed through news articles. She looked up at Clint, raising an eyebrow, a bemused smirk pulling at her lips. Well at least he wasn't assuming she'd be zombified. "Hadn't really thought about to be honest. Have you?"

"Treehouses," Clint answered promptly. Obviously he'd thought about this. "I mean, I can make my own weapons and ammunition, so I wouldn't have to depend on guns and bullets, which jam and run out. Limited supply if the world's ending and all. But somewhere safe - definitely off the ground. A treehouse."

He had certainly thought about this, and Angel would be lying if she said it wasn't damn cute. "Okay, treehouse. So like, little box thing built by thirteen year olds treehouse or that crazy show on Animal Planet treehouses that are as big as a small house?" She was absolutely intrigued if she was honest. "Also do you happen to already have this treehouse built?"

"I mean, like, Swiss Family Robinson or whatever," Clint said, grinning as he looked down at her. "It could start out as the little box or just a platform that's high enough to avoid getting eaten by zombies. And then expand. Probably be able to rig up some kind of solar power thing. Maybe wind power, depending on where we are. Keep things like, I dunno, a radio or something operational. I mean, definitely looting a Walmart. Or maybe an Ikea."

"Zombie apocalypse and we probably still won't find an open line at Walmart," Angel lamented with a sigh. "I bet Ikea would be good for furnishing the place though. Nobody is looting for curtains when they're fighting for their lives."

"Ikea has Swedish meatballs, too," Clint pointed out, grinning a little. "We could have the poshest apocalyptic treehouse in the world. Assuming we could find a truck with enough gas to get us there and back and carry all our stuff."

"Ikea it is," Angel said happily. "I'm sure we could find a truck. Big old trucks probably won't be a priority during the zombie apocalypse. People are gonna want things that move fast. You know, to get away from the zombies."

"Maybe we should make a treehouse in Ikea," Clint said, tilting his head back to rest against the couch cushion. "Or... we should build a treehouse now and fill it with Ikea things just to be prepared. In case."

Angel twisted her head to look out the window. She could just make out the treeline from her position. "We do have a pretty big forest out there, plenty of trees to build in..."

"Hells yeah, we do," Clint said, turning a little so he, too, could look out the window. "Wanna go find good treehouse tree?"

Angel grinned brightly, tossing her tablet onto the table and sitting up. "Absolutely. And also now we need to go get Swedish meatballs from Ikea at some point. Just saying."

"You google the closest Ikea, that can be dinner," Clint said, grinning as he tucked all the papers he'd been reading into a folder for safekeeping. "We can do that after we find the perfect tree. Also, I dunno about you, but I think it might be a good idea to talk to someone who actually knows something about building things. I can make a guess and probably find instruction manuals online, but uh... not actually an architect." He paused. "I could always ask Steve, though. Maybe at family breakfast on Sunday. Which, by the way, do you want in on that? Pancakes. All the pancakes. I swear, Steve and Andre are totally cool, they'll probably only interrogate you a little."

"Awesome!" Angel grabbed her tablet again, looking it up. "Yeah, I don't know the first thing about architecture and I don't really know anyone around here who does. Cars, yes. Building things in which people live, not so much. Totally love to do family breakfast with Steve and Andre though. Promise not to crack under their interrogation."

Still grinning, Clint leaned over and gave Angel a kiss. "Sweet. Steve's an architect, so y'know. He might lecture us a little but he'll probably just roll his eyes and then draw us up the Versailles of treehouses."

"Good man," Angel said before kissing him back quickly. "Your dad is a good man and I like him already. I look forward to meeting him and seeing what he can do for us."

"He'll probably even appreciate our zombie apocalypse preparedness strategy," Clint said, grinning widely. "You know, the government has one - a plan, in case there's a zombie apocalypse. Like, the CDC."

"What, really?" Angel asked, a bit surprised. She supposed she shouldn't have been - they lived in a world of mutants after all. Zombies weren't really that far off.

"Yeah, I mean. They tie it all in with general preparedness for like hurricanes and earthquakes and stuff, disease prevention, but it totally exists," Clint said, obviously amused. "It started back in 2011 with all the zombie books that started getting popular. Made sense to use the hype to teach people how to actually prepare for disasters and stuff."

"Yeah, that makes sense," Angel nodded thoughtfully. "Everyone should have an apocalypse plan, I guess. They're probably handy." She doubted a plan would have done them much good in the old world, of course. There was really no way to prepare for the universe falling apart at its seams. But she doubted anything like that would ever happen again anyways.

"I mean, I guess it's more appropriate to say it's like, disaster preparedness as opposed to apocalypse preparedness. Apocalypses are kind of a one time deal, right?" Clint squinted a little as he stood up and offered Angel a hand. "I mean, that's what Matt's priest says, anyway." He squinted a little bit.

"Yeah, that's what I hear too." Angel grinned as she took Clint's hand and bounced up. "Come on, let's find a tree and get to Ikea. Those Swedish meatballs are calling my name."