The Hedgehog and the Fox - Where Are You Now

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And now, the truth.



Jennie sat at her kitchen table, having been cleared from the medlab that afternoon. She had been lucky. Very very lucky. Multiple contusions, some abrasions, but no sprains and no broken bones. She'd have some pain from the bruised ribs, but otherwise she was fine.

Except.

She'd tried to prepare for seeing him again. Tried to make herself strong and impenetrable. Something he couldn't hurt. But even with all her training, even with preparing herself for seeing him again, for what he'd become-- in the end, she was still the same. Still the flawed, scared, imperfect person she always was.

In her hand was a small gold ring. It was always with her, she used to wear it on her hand, but now it hung on a chain around her neck. It was two hands holding a heart topped by a crown. A claddagh ring, Donal had once explained. The hands were for friendship, the crown for loyalty, the heart for love.

And of course, there was the day he gave it to her.

It had been a warm evening in late summer. They were on the rooftop that Donal had taken her to after that first bike ride through the city, where Jennie had shown him what she could do with traffic lights, and they'd raced through London with no one to stop them. It had become "their spot" they'd escape to in-between missions. When they needed quiet, and to be with each other.

"Mmm, sandwiches and cider. You are the bestest boyfriend in the entire world," Jennie said, tossing her wrapper back into her bag and leaning back, taking in the whole of London. It was her favorite time of day, twilight, when the air was still pink and blue, but the lights of the city sparkled before her.

"I try," Donal said, smiling in that way of his. Jennie loved the way his eyes would crinkle into little half-moons. He had been quiet that night, letting Jennie do most of the talking, and he kept running his hands through his hair or tugging at his shirt. The fidgeting was starting to drive her a little nuts.

"What?" Jennie said, tilting her head at him.

"Hmmmm?" he said.

"You keep fidgeting, what's up?" Jennie leaned forward, elbows on knees and poked him in the shoulder.

"Enh? Nothing," he cleared his throat and shifted his eyes, a clear sign that something was definitely Up. Jennie's heart beat a little faster. No matter how happy they were, how happy she was, there was always a part of Jennie that expected the other shoe to drop.

Like, oh sorry, nevermind. This is not allowed. It didn't matter how safe she felt with Donal, there was tiny part of her that dreaded him looking at her with cold eyes. But tonight they retained the same warmth they always did, if a little shifty.

"Hmmmm. And yet you fidget. You fidget when something's up. Come on, is something wrong?"

He looked up in surprise. "No, nothing's wrong, nothing at all," he twitched a piece of hair out of her eyes. "I promise." Jennie relaxed slightly.

"It's just.."

...And here Jennie tensed again.

"Yes?" she said.

"Are you happy, Jen? With us? With the life we have?" Donal said, with that same vulnerable look he'd had when he's stood in the rain and told her he'd loved her.

"Yes," Jennie said emphatically. She put her hands on Donal's. "God, Donal. I am so happy you are in my life. I love you, so much," she gave them a squeeze. They were clammy. "And our life... okay it's pretty fucking bizarre, but at least you're with me. If I had to do this alone.. I mean. I could do it. But with you, I feel like I can conquer the fucking world," and here she got a slight smile. "I just. I get up in morning and I am happy, because you're next to me. You know, drooling."

He laughed. "Hogging the sheets."

"Accidentally smacking me in the face during a dream..."

"You wheeze and have cold feet, you know."

"I know," Jennie said. The tension eased out of her shoulders.

"Would that be something you could wake up to, every day, from now on?" he said.

"Hell yeah," Jennie said. "Would you? I mean, I plan on getting fat and old at some point."

"Your boobs would get bigger," he said thoughtfully.

"But I'll also be wrinkly and grey."

"But so will I," he countered.

"This is true," Jennie said.

"If me Grandda is any indication, I'll have more hair in my ears than on my head, and a hell of a gut."

"My hair will be the consistency of a wire brush," said Jennie. "And my tits will sag to my knees."

"To go along with me gut, I suppose," he said. Then they laughed. Jennie wondered if they could grow old together, if their lives would allow it. All joking aside, it was something Jennie could picture. When Jennie looked at her life, that vague road going off in the distance, Donal was always a part of it.

Donal turned serious again. "I'd love to grow old with you, Jen," he said, sounding hoarse.

"Yeah" Jennie said softly, holding his eyes and rubbing her thumb along his. "Me too."

Here he nodded and exhaled loudly. "Right," he pulled his hands out of hers and reached into the pocket of his jeans. Jennie's heart dropped into her stomach.

In his hand was a small, golden ring. Two hands clasping a heart wearing a crown. He slid off the edge they had been sitting on to the rooftop itself, and took her hand in his, lowering himself to one knee.

And Jennie said nothing, so taken off-guard and speechless. Her other hands flew to her mouth, and it trembled.

"Jen. Jennifer Stavros. I love you, so very much. And it would make me so happy, if you would agree to be my wife."

Jennie flailed a tiny bit, trying to get her mouth to work. Tears slid down both of her cheeks. She nodded, desperately nodded, because her tongue was numb and her words were gone. But it was there, in her eyes, her face.

"Yeah?" he said, sounding slightly watery.

"Yes," Jennie said, finding her voice. "Yes, oh God, Yes," and she threw her arms around his neck. He hugged her tightly.

She pulled away and he wiped his eyes, and they laughed. "How do we, do you..?" Jennie held up her left hand.

"It was me Mam's," Donal said. "So I hope it fits. It goes here," he slid it onto the middle finger of Jennie's left hand.

"Perfect fit," said Jennie, wiggling her fingers and admiring it.

"How very improbable," Donal said.

Jennie looked up at him, and kissed him with her whole heart.

***

In the present, Jennie held the ring, and all that it symbolized, and for the first time in a long time, she wept.