(no subject)

[x-dazzler.livejournal.com]

In which Alex shows something to Alison, and asks for advice...

Monday evening

Alex wandered into the library, a couple books under his arm. He'd read these already and now he needed a book to translate them. As he passed a couple shelves, he noticed Alison sitting at a table. Pausing for a moment, he wondered if she was the right person to go to, but the letter he had found was burning a hole in his back pocket and he needed to talk to somebody, who better then Lorna's roommate. Walking over, he sat down, giving her a smile. "Hey, doing a little more late night research?"

Alison looked up from her notes a bit blankly at first, then smiles at him, setting her pen in the book to mark the place she was reading. "Yep. Learning physics on your own isn't exactly the easiest way to go about it," she grinned wryly. "I'm glad Hank's class starts tomorrow. Though he'll be tickled pink that I'm in it to start with, I expect." She chuckled, leaning back in her chair carefully and giving him a slightly curious look.

Alex rolled his eyes in understanding. "Tell me about it. I'm here to find a book that will explain the two Physics books I just read." Pausing for a moment, he chewed on the side of his cheek. Finally, after figuring out the right words, he spit out his purpose for finding her. "If I showed you something, would you promise to tell no one else about it? It's nothing illegal, I promise… just, private."

Alison nodded slowly, reaching over to place slips of papers to mark the pages of the books she'd had open, closing them up one by one to make a neat stack, and then pushing it further away.

"Ok," she said simply, giving him her full attention.

Biting his lip, Alex placed the books he was holding on the table and pulled the letter out of his pocket. He stared at it for a moment, and then pushed it across the table to her. Alex waited in silent, jittery anticipation for her to see what it was and to read it.

With a faintly concerned at Alex's obvious worry, she opened the letter carefully and started reading it. Her eyebrows rose slowly as she read, although by the time she was done she still had a calm expression on her face, even though she was internally anything but.

"You found this in the computer lab the other night, didn't you?" she asks softly, looking up at him. At his nod, she continues, knowing from his face alone the answer already, but still asking. "Are you ok?"

Alex could only shake his head. "Of course I'm not okay...Look at that!" He gestured at the letter in Alison's hand. "How would you feel to suddenly find out you had that effect on someone, without even knowing!" Alex realized he was near shouting and took a deep breath to calm down. Sighing, he buried his face in his hands. "And that's not even the worst part..." he mumbled more to himself, but loud enough for Alison to hear.

She puts her elbows on the table, placing her chin on one hand and giving him a sympathetic look. "Want to tell me what the worst part is?" she asked gently, leaving the letter a bit to the side for now.

Sighing again, he picked his head off his hand and stared at Alison, trying to find the words. Alex realized he couldn't think of anything to say exactly what he wants to say, so he asked her a question instead. "She gives all those reasons why she shouldn't even bother with me…do you think she means them? Seriously?"

With a faint sigh, Alison bit her lip, thinking. You're putting me in an awkward position, Alex, she reflected, wondering how she should answer this. "Hon, I'm not sure how to tell you this... but - when you read the letter, what was the first thing that struck you about it? It was all the reasons she listed, right?" she waited for his nod, and continued. "Change of situation here. When you started surfing, and you were heard about that first wave - you know., the really scary one, with the rips and the undertows. The one that kills people... What did you tell yourself about it? How do most people react about going out there and trying to surf it?"

Alex was slightly confused by the sudden change in conversation, but chewed the inside of his cheek again while thinking of an answer. Finally, he looked up, hoping he was answering the question properly. "I gave myself all the reasons why I shouldn't do it safety wise but deep down inside, I knew it was just because I was scared and…oh…"He paused mid sentence, realizing what he had just said.

Alison smiled faintly and then pushed the letter slowly back towards him - her other question had just been answered as well, after all. "Why don't you hang on to this, Alex," she suggested, patting his hand. "And you can give it back to her... when you're ready to."

Alex bit his lip as he took the letter and carefully put it back in his pocket. Then the weight seemed to drop off his shoulders and he smiled. "I will...Thanks"

"You're very welcome," she answered, a cheerful gleam in her eyes. "If you need to talk again, just let me know."

He nodded as he stood up and pick up his books. "Will do..."

"Evening," she grinned at him, and reached for her books while he walked away, to try and concentrate on the rest of the research she'd had planned for the evening. Her smile faded as the door closed behind Alex, and she looked down at the books, sighing as started staring at her notes again - the same notes she'd been staring at since she'd first arrived...