xp_logs | [Angelo, Marie] Sometimes it's a blessing and sometimes it's a curse.

Angelo drops in to check on Marie, they talk about his trip home and what he's afraid of when he gets there.

During one of his study periods, Angelo made his way upstairs to see how Marie was doing, and to make sure she wasn't too bored. Arriving at the door, he knocked cheerfully and waited for an answer.

"Come on in." Marie was curled up in a heap of blankets and pillows, soaking up the sunshine in the room like a cat. She was guessing that it was Angelo or, on a very off-chance, Manny. Scott had a sharper knock and Ororo a lighter one and Nathan probably would have already greeted her in her head.

Angelo pushed the door open and peered round it with a smile before he went in. "Hey. Enjoyin' your day off?"

"Mmph." Marie's green eyes glittered under stray strands of dark and white hair and she scowled a little. Pushing back her hair, she sat up a little and focused on Angelo. "Kind of, I guess," she admitted grudgingly. "I didn't know how tired I was until this morning."

Angelo nodded, walking further into the room and sitting down. "But you've slept some now?" he asked.

"Some, yeah." She yawned and pulled the blankets up a little more. "I hate being tired. It's inefficient and frustrating. How's the big world out there?"

Angelo grinned. "Seems to be goin' along pretty well. Doug's talked Angie into playin' her cello with the band, at least once."

"Good for him." Marie smiled. "Glad they're doing something together. She should play with them, they need someone to keep them all in line. What about you? How're you doing?"

Angelo's grin faded only marginally. "Not too bad. Main thing is... this trip home."

"Oh, Skin." Marie sat up, pulling her pyjama sleeves down over her bare hands. "You worried? About what?"

He shrugged. "Don't know, really. I mean, I'm gonna be wearin' an image inducer or a glamor or somethin', so it's not that..."

"Just bad memories?" She wrapped her arms around her knees, watching him closely.

Angelo nodded. "'s part of it... an'... it's not gonna be the same. I knew that, 'course I did, but I didn't think I was gonna be goin' back..."

"Not going to be the same how? Like it won't be home anymore or something? You never had a proper leave-taking, so I can see that you might have loose ends, inside or out, about it." Marie frowned a little, thinking. "Or are you scared to see how much you've changed and all?"

"It's not gonna be home anymore", Angelo said quietly. "I mean, the house is, kinda, but the house was never the whole of it. An' the people - 'cept Mom - that made it home, can't ever know I'm there."

"This time, no," Marie agreed. "Maybe another time. And you'll be a stranger there, no matter what. You're not who you were. I felt like that some at home, because I couldn't say that truth about who I am now and what's happened to me... it was like wearing a mask. And it'll be more so for you, I know. So why are you going?"

Angelo shrugged. "Part 'cause I told Amanda I would, but she gave me an out if I want it. More... 'cause it feels like I should."

Marie smiled at him. "I know what you mean. You should listen to that part of you then. You'll find out why you have to go when you get there. Don't worry too hard about the rest."

He tried to smile. "Can't stay away my whole life, I guess." The smile dropped, and he bowed his head and confessed quietly, "I'm scared."

"I'd be worried if you weren't, Skin." Marie reached out and touched his shoulder gently. "It's okay. You'll be fine, and if you're not, you'll come home and we'll fix it. Okay?"

Angelo nodded, not looking up, hands twisted together almost painfully. "Okay."

"Skin. Look at me." She tucked her fingers in her sleeve and pushed Angelo's chin up so he was looking at her. "We've done good so far. /You've/ done good so far. They can't break anything down there that love can't fix up here."

He laughed, but it came out a little choked. "I don't even know what I'm scared of. They'll never even know I'm there, an' I won't be left by myself..."

"Fear doesn't need a reason," Marie said sadly. "And you have plenty of them all the same. Don't beat yourself up. It's okay to be scared."

"I don't know what I'd do", he said suddenly. "If I saw them again, even with the inducer or whatever."

"You'd walk away and fall apart later. I'm pretty sure that would be it. Or, if Amanda knew who they were, you'd be trying to sit on her..." Marie said dryly.

Angelo nodded. "Probably. Hope so."

"I know so," she reassured him. "Worse comes to worst, you can grab your phone and call someone. Paige, me, anyone."

Angelo smiled weakly. "Yeah. 'f I need a ride home early, or someone t'talk to when Amanda's not there, I'll be on the phone. Promise."

"Good. I think this is something you need to do. You'll be glad you were there when it's all done, you know? No more looking over your shoulder." Marie patted his arm gently.

Angelo nodded. "Yeah. Like I said, can't stay away forever. Maybe someday I'll even manage to face them..."

"If it matters, you will. I'm sure of it."

Angelo smiled up at her. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," she said, returning his smile. "You're going to be okay."