Sooraya and Rahne (backdated)

[xp-wolfsbane.livejournal.com]

Sooraya seeks out and finds Rahne, who has been avoiding as many people as she could after being rescued from the Slendermen. Rahne is having trouble coping and it's not just about being kidnapped.

Rahne was, at least, sort of returning to normal. If not her, then her schedule. She'd spent several days dodging everyone, either spending it deep in the woods or alone in her room. She couldn't keep it up forever - she had classes on Tuesday, though she'd hardly participated. Kyle hadn't pushed and she'd fled the minute he'd finished for the day.

Now she was sticking to the mansion but actively avoiding people. It was really easy when you could hear or smell anyone coming. Now she was tucked away in some small room, homework scattered across the couch, trying to concentrate on the words in front of her.

"So this is where you have been hiding all this time?" Sooraya said as she pushed open the door and closed it softly behind her. "I have been looking for you for a while." The couch covered with homework, she took a seat on the edge of the salon table.

Her homework was fascinating so it took her a few minutes to raise her eyes to meet Sooraya's. She hadn't missed the older woman's approach there had just been ... nowhere for her to go. And she wasn't so desperate to leap out the window. Not now, not because of Sooraya. "'ve been busy," Rahne murmured, fussing with the papers in front of her. "Getting back into school now that I'm back from home."

"Do you have a big test coming up? Because I know Kyle well enough he would have kept you up to date with some assignments while you were in Scotland. So it cannot just be that." Sooraya inquired lightly, though her eyes were intent on the girl in front of her.

"Nay, nothing huge. Just ... lots of wee things." Rahne pushed a few sheets around listlessly. "Kyle's more than fine with the amount of work, I just don't want to fall behind now that I'm back." It was real homework but she hadn't gotten very far on it, no matter how long she stared at it.

"I don't think there is any danger of that happening..." Reaching out she put her hand on Rahne's knee. "Want to tell me what really is going on? I know things were pretty rough for you in there..."

Rahne's face flushed as she jerked away from the touch, both embarrassed at her reaction and yet angry at the same time. "Oh aye, it was really rough," she said, curling in on herself in the corner of the couch. "But it seems to normal for this school, right? Like, oh nay, the wee children got taken into another dimension, whoops!"

She clenched her jaw in an attempt to stop the flow of words and she couldn't look at Sooraya. There was too much shame and anger in her.

Sooraya pushed away the books and sheets of paper, moving from the table to the couch, though she did not touch Rahne. "Oh lass, I hate this happened to all of you. We try to make this safe heaven for all of you kids, but it does not always go as we want to... Do you want to tell me what happened? I only saw bits and pieces."

Looping her arms around her knees, Rahne buried her face into her jeans for a moment. Everything about her experience had terrified her but nothing more than her bizarre transformation. She focused on that and raised her head so she could talk clearly. "I turned into a monster," she said, voice tight and eyes stinging. "I was huge and on two legs and I talked. Sort of but I wasn't me and I wasn't me-as-a-wolf. I was a monster. And I don't know if it was the place we were taken or ..."

She jumped up from the couch and started to pace, hands twisting her shirt as she walked. "Or if that's what's in me and I'll turn into that again the next time. Or just randomly! I was a monster and I don't ..." What would Reverend Craig say or thing? A lass that turned into a wolf was bad enough but a - a werewolf?!

So it seemed Rahne had discovered her in between form. Sooraya's eyes turned thoughtful as she remembered the young woman she had known and how she had been able to shift all over the spectrum between human and wolf. "Lass, I promise you... you are not a monster. To me it sounds like you have discovered a new aspect of your powers. Not just able to fully become a wolf, but something in between."

She hesitated before continuing. "You said you could talk and walk on two legs. But there were also thing you'd usually have in your wolf form, weren't there?"

Rahne shook her head. "I mean, I can think in wolf form, aye, but the sounds I make are ... wolf! Because I'm an animal but it's me. But this ... thing was something else. An actual werewolf, like the ones the lads have put on in their movies. And I don't know if it's that world or me and I don't want it to be me!" She kicked at a pile of homework, scattering it. "This is complicated enough, I don't want more! It's not fair!"

She tried not to but she was so full of rage and confusion that Rahne just burst into tears.

This time Sooraya rose and moved over to hug Rahne as she sought for words. "It is not fair, I know. But it is you, lass, and it does not have to be something bad..."  

The younger girl let Sooraya hold her for a moment but then pulled away as she scrubbed at her face. "I was taken to another dimension where I turned into a monster," she said, blinking as her hands dropped to her sides. She was still angry and, even worse, now she was congested. "It's all bad."

"What is it you most afraid of, Rahne?" Sooraya reached into her pocket and dug out a handkerchief that she offered to the girl. "Is it how look or something you might do? That you might hurt someone?"  

Rahne took the handkerchief and used it to scrub at her eyes. "That'll I hurt someone," she sniffled. "The wolf is me, I know that now. I'm used to that. But this other thing - what if it's not me? What if it is a monster and ..." Rahne looked up and gave Sooraya the most miserable look she could muster. "What if this isn't God's plan for me? What if I've strayed and I'm being punished?"

Sooraya nodded. "How about we tackle these one by one?" She moved towards the sink of the kitchenette to pour two glasses of water and brought them back, handing one to Rahne. "Rahne, I hate to say this. But I want to be honest. With the powers that we have there is a large chance that we might one day hurt someone without wanting to. In practice or when we defend someone... We take our responsibility... train hard to control our abilities so we lessen the chance, but it can still happen. I know I have done so... quite badly."

"Ye ... ye have?" Rahne looked shocked as she took a sip of the water, trying to collect her thoughts. She knew the adults in the mansion did things. They sometimes came back really hurt. But Sooraya ... She glanced up at the older woman, curiosity brimming despite herself. "What ... nay, nay ye don't have to tell me if ye don't want."

"The details of why and where... they don't really matter. But... when I fight in my sand form, one of the major ways I fight is by creating whips of sand and those can be very sharp. Sharp enough to really cut someone deeply." Sooraya explained. "And I was very mad at myself when I did hurt someone and it took me a lot of talking with the professor to work through it. But what I also did was to keep working so I could improve my control."

For a moment, there was a well of frustration. Rahne didn't want to keep working at it, she wanted it gone! Or at least what happened to her in that other world, that crazy werewolf form where she could talk. But she took a deep breath and then finished off the water. "I know God only gives us what we are able to handle but it feels like it's too much. I was just getting a handle on my powers! I wasn't turning into a wolf by accident as much and I'm better at changing back." She looked up at Sooraya and sighed. "And then I was bloody kidnapped! By creatures! And I turned into my own worst nightmare...I don't know if I want to try to turn back into that, aye?"

"That I can understand, Rahne. What you have accomplished with your powers is very good. To learn to control this form... it is an expansion of that." Sooraya made sure to look Rahne in the eye when she said: "From where I stand I think you have two choices. The first one is to try and learn to control this, just like you learned to do with your wolf form. The second one is when you try to push it away and you will end up changing again when something bad happens... I know which one I would choose."  

"Ugh, why must ye be right?" Rahne sighed, slumping back down against the couch. There was a scowl on her face but it was exaggerated and not really meant. "I don't think I can try for a while," she continued, gesturing with the water glass. "But maybe in a few weeks? Maybe I'll finally forget how that place smelled by then and it won't be as bad? Or, not smelled, really."

"Of course you can take a little time. And Rahne..." Sooraya paused for a moment to make sure she had the girl's full attention. "You said this might have been a punishment from God. But maybe you can think about this... What if it's a gift He has given you? For you to use to do good works?"

Rahne frowned at that. "Maybe," she said, trying to mull it over. But it scared her, this thought that God wanted her to be this monster. It was, she thought, a question for Sunday. If she could figure out a way to phrase it so the priest wouldn't think she mad or a mutant. "Sometimes we cannot know what He is thinking after all. I just ... need time."

"And you can have that, Rahne. In this case the saying 'God works in mysterious ways' might be literally true." Putting her hand on Rahne's shoulder, she asked: "But I think this might be enough hard talk for the moment. How about we go down and find us something to eat?"

That was the best idea she'd heard in ages. "Aye, I'd like that. My homework can wait now."