Maya and Nica - backdated to April 16
Apr. 16th, 2016 05:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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xp_logsAfter this journal argument, Nica takes Maya out for a run and a talk about what's really bothering her.
They'd run for perhaps twenty to thirty minutes in relative silence, taking the damp dirt path into the heart of the woods. The afternoon was warm enough to make spring an actual possibility, the air full of the smell of leaf mould and the sound of bird calls and the chitter of squirrels as they whisked back into their trees, their food gathering interrupted by the runners. At last, gauging they were far enough from the house and Maya had had enough time to cool off a bit, Nica slowed to a pace where they would be able to talk. Of course, starting this talk was easier said than done.
Maya, for her part, was silent as they jogged, allowing the cool of the woods and the feel of its vast sleepy regard steal over her and settle the extreme panic curling in her gut since that guy, Julian had been brought in. She hadn't disagreed with Wade, and she'd definitely talk to him first in the future rather then publicly, but people had pissed her off, which just seemed to make the need to smash the world worse.
"It's nice out here, isn't it?" Nica said at last, glancing over at her roommate. "Soothing. Peaceful. All that jazz."
"Are you honestly attempting small talk right now?" Maya asked, but her tone was amused more then angry, the woods having worked their magic on her normally rotten mood. She wondered if she could just make everyone talk to her in the woods, it might help. "Because if so, then I'm going to mock you by talking about the weather."
"Actually, it was my way of making sure you weren't going to bite my head off," Nica pointed out in much the same tone, slowing down to a walk. "You got pretty worked up there. Something must have really pushed your buttons."
"I don't like the thought that whatever attacked Julian could come after him here," Maya admitted, kicking up dust with her feet as they walked, her eyes fixed on the canopy about them.
She wished she'd been given wings, or magic like her Grandfather, something more useful then whatever it was she still had no control with. So she could, what? Echo someone, feel and see ghosts, what use was that? You couldn't get away from people if all you could do was do the same thing they did.
"Would it help if I pointed out we don't know what happened to Julian? He could have been hit by a cab crossing the street for all we know," Nica pointed out. "Plus, while the adults here are awful at relating to us, they are good at beating the crap out of things."
"Do you honestly think it was a cab?" Maya asked, giving her a look. She wasn't an idiot, adults didn't react the way they were without something being up. "And I guess they are, I just...How do I trust any of them? I don't know them, besides maybe Wade, and we haven't exactly had a lot of bonding time since I got here so that I can really say I know him either."
Nica shrugged. "It probably wasn't a cab, no. But if it was something that happened here, or likely to follow him here, there'd be alarms and lockdowns and curfews and fuck knows what else. And I'm the last person you'd expect to say this, but we can trust them to make sure we're safe, even if they are jerks and don't listen to us. Look at what happened with those creepy kids - we took off all half-assed and wound up in trouble, and they still saved our butts."
“That only works till it doesn’t,” Maya noted, unwilling to give up the point of her protest just yet. “My family figured they could protect me just fine, and then Dad’s car got bombed and I ended up here. Don’t matter what adults say about protecting you, they lie. They lie because they think it’s the truth but the real truth is that they can’t know for sure, ever. Look, I know they’re doing their best, I know that. I just can’t pretend things are all safe when I know, they can never be. ”
"Maya, no-one's one hundred percent safe in this life. You and I could be struck by lightning right now, or have some old rotten tree fall on us and crush us to death. And you know that. But blaming everyone around you because they can't do the impossible, and then getting angry at them when they call you on it... it's not exactly going to help you in the long run. Have you talked to that counsellor guy about it? Mr. Haller?"
“Constantly,” Maya replied with a shrug, kicking at the dirt below her feet as they walked. “You know it’s not that easy, right?”
Haller had listened to her since she first started attending their sessions, attempted to get her to look at things in a different way but she kept coming back, almost like it was a sore tooth she needed to touch just to make sure it was still sore. She wanted to trust this place, she did. There were a lot of things she wanted, but wanting hadn’t gotten her anywhere so far.
"Of course I do. And I know you're trying." Nica fell silent for a moment, thinking over her next words. "Maybe, next time you feel like the way you did, talk to me or to Mr. Wilson or Mr. Haller about it first? Before posting on the journals. 'Cause that seems to be the main problem, really - how you're expressing yourself and where. having people pissed off at you can't help with the trust thing."
“I guess I can do that,” Maya replied with a sigh, finally letting the spirit of the place they were walking calm her, she stopped and looked at Nica. “It’s not that I care that they’re pissed, but I don’t want you and Wade and Haller to have to deal with them being pissed either.”
"Yeah, well, it'd help my blood pressure more if you had less arguments on the journals," Nica said wryly. "And it's all part of growing up, learning NOT to say the stuff you're thinking out loud, or at least keeping it for a few select people. You might not care what people think, but it's going to make your life here a lot easier if you bite your tongue a bit more often."
“I’ll give it my best ‘can do’ high school cheerleader try then,” Maya replied, only mildly sarcastic, which said something about how much she liked Nica that she didn’t just tell her to bite it. “Why do you care so much about me, anyway?”
Maya also didn’t mention the fact that making her life ‘easier’ wasn’t what she was looking for at all, and frankly, had it not been for the few people she’d found at the mansion actually worth giving a damn about, she’d be on an all-out quest to make things as difficult for everyone involved as possible. If she had to suffer, she didn’t see why nobody else had to suffer as well.
Nica shrugged. "I just do, that's all. You're not so bad, when you're not trying to make yourself as annoying as possible." This last was said with a grin and a nudge with her shoulder. "Wanna race back? Last one to the kitchen door does the winner's laundry this week?"
"I don't know...," Maya drawled slowly, as though thinking about it very seriously.
She meandered backwards a few steps from where 'Nica was standing, tapping a finger against her chin as she gave her friend a once over.
"Last one back's a rotten egg!" She suddenly cried and took off at a dead run, laughter drifting over her shoulder as she sped away.
"Brat!" Nica yelled after the fleeing figure before she took off in pursuit.
They'd run for perhaps twenty to thirty minutes in relative silence, taking the damp dirt path into the heart of the woods. The afternoon was warm enough to make spring an actual possibility, the air full of the smell of leaf mould and the sound of bird calls and the chitter of squirrels as they whisked back into their trees, their food gathering interrupted by the runners. At last, gauging they were far enough from the house and Maya had had enough time to cool off a bit, Nica slowed to a pace where they would be able to talk. Of course, starting this talk was easier said than done.
Maya, for her part, was silent as they jogged, allowing the cool of the woods and the feel of its vast sleepy regard steal over her and settle the extreme panic curling in her gut since that guy, Julian had been brought in. She hadn't disagreed with Wade, and she'd definitely talk to him first in the future rather then publicly, but people had pissed her off, which just seemed to make the need to smash the world worse.
"It's nice out here, isn't it?" Nica said at last, glancing over at her roommate. "Soothing. Peaceful. All that jazz."
"Are you honestly attempting small talk right now?" Maya asked, but her tone was amused more then angry, the woods having worked their magic on her normally rotten mood. She wondered if she could just make everyone talk to her in the woods, it might help. "Because if so, then I'm going to mock you by talking about the weather."
"Actually, it was my way of making sure you weren't going to bite my head off," Nica pointed out in much the same tone, slowing down to a walk. "You got pretty worked up there. Something must have really pushed your buttons."
"I don't like the thought that whatever attacked Julian could come after him here," Maya admitted, kicking up dust with her feet as they walked, her eyes fixed on the canopy about them.
She wished she'd been given wings, or magic like her Grandfather, something more useful then whatever it was she still had no control with. So she could, what? Echo someone, feel and see ghosts, what use was that? You couldn't get away from people if all you could do was do the same thing they did.
"Would it help if I pointed out we don't know what happened to Julian? He could have been hit by a cab crossing the street for all we know," Nica pointed out. "Plus, while the adults here are awful at relating to us, they are good at beating the crap out of things."
"Do you honestly think it was a cab?" Maya asked, giving her a look. She wasn't an idiot, adults didn't react the way they were without something being up. "And I guess they are, I just...How do I trust any of them? I don't know them, besides maybe Wade, and we haven't exactly had a lot of bonding time since I got here so that I can really say I know him either."
Nica shrugged. "It probably wasn't a cab, no. But if it was something that happened here, or likely to follow him here, there'd be alarms and lockdowns and curfews and fuck knows what else. And I'm the last person you'd expect to say this, but we can trust them to make sure we're safe, even if they are jerks and don't listen to us. Look at what happened with those creepy kids - we took off all half-assed and wound up in trouble, and they still saved our butts."
“That only works till it doesn’t,” Maya noted, unwilling to give up the point of her protest just yet. “My family figured they could protect me just fine, and then Dad’s car got bombed and I ended up here. Don’t matter what adults say about protecting you, they lie. They lie because they think it’s the truth but the real truth is that they can’t know for sure, ever. Look, I know they’re doing their best, I know that. I just can’t pretend things are all safe when I know, they can never be. ”
"Maya, no-one's one hundred percent safe in this life. You and I could be struck by lightning right now, or have some old rotten tree fall on us and crush us to death. And you know that. But blaming everyone around you because they can't do the impossible, and then getting angry at them when they call you on it... it's not exactly going to help you in the long run. Have you talked to that counsellor guy about it? Mr. Haller?"
“Constantly,” Maya replied with a shrug, kicking at the dirt below her feet as they walked. “You know it’s not that easy, right?”
Haller had listened to her since she first started attending their sessions, attempted to get her to look at things in a different way but she kept coming back, almost like it was a sore tooth she needed to touch just to make sure it was still sore. She wanted to trust this place, she did. There were a lot of things she wanted, but wanting hadn’t gotten her anywhere so far.
"Of course I do. And I know you're trying." Nica fell silent for a moment, thinking over her next words. "Maybe, next time you feel like the way you did, talk to me or to Mr. Wilson or Mr. Haller about it first? Before posting on the journals. 'Cause that seems to be the main problem, really - how you're expressing yourself and where. having people pissed off at you can't help with the trust thing."
“I guess I can do that,” Maya replied with a sigh, finally letting the spirit of the place they were walking calm her, she stopped and looked at Nica. “It’s not that I care that they’re pissed, but I don’t want you and Wade and Haller to have to deal with them being pissed either.”
"Yeah, well, it'd help my blood pressure more if you had less arguments on the journals," Nica said wryly. "And it's all part of growing up, learning NOT to say the stuff you're thinking out loud, or at least keeping it for a few select people. You might not care what people think, but it's going to make your life here a lot easier if you bite your tongue a bit more often."
“I’ll give it my best ‘can do’ high school cheerleader try then,” Maya replied, only mildly sarcastic, which said something about how much she liked Nica that she didn’t just tell her to bite it. “Why do you care so much about me, anyway?”
Maya also didn’t mention the fact that making her life ‘easier’ wasn’t what she was looking for at all, and frankly, had it not been for the few people she’d found at the mansion actually worth giving a damn about, she’d be on an all-out quest to make things as difficult for everyone involved as possible. If she had to suffer, she didn’t see why nobody else had to suffer as well.
Nica shrugged. "I just do, that's all. You're not so bad, when you're not trying to make yourself as annoying as possible." This last was said with a grin and a nudge with her shoulder. "Wanna race back? Last one to the kitchen door does the winner's laundry this week?"
"I don't know...," Maya drawled slowly, as though thinking about it very seriously.
She meandered backwards a few steps from where 'Nica was standing, tapping a finger against her chin as she gave her friend a once over.
"Last one back's a rotten egg!" She suddenly cried and took off at a dead run, laughter drifting over her shoulder as she sped away.
"Brat!" Nica yelled after the fleeing figure before she took off in pursuit.
