Log: Kurt and Jubilee
Oct. 25th, 2017 09:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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xp_logsJubilee has a conversation with Kurt. She decides for the both of them how things must be.
Jubilee had been staring out the window of the suite she shared with Kurt for what felt like hours. It wasn't that she was the type to brood, it was about as far from her nature as you could get but she'd been unable to come up with an easy way to talk to Kurt without basically crushing him entirely.
She might have tried for operational ease to be as stone cold a bitch as she could be but that didn't mean she actually managed it very well. She just couldn't figure out a way around it, and she'd finally reached the stage that the pain of doing what she had to do way outweighed the comfort of simply letting things stay as they were.
She didn't think Kurt would have appreciated if she'd left it for the day before their wedding and she sure as shit knew Amanda would happily kill her if she let this go on to that point.
The door opened and closed behind her, and Kurt's distinctive footsteps approached.
“I have to go somewhere for awhile, and I have to go deep cover. No contact, not even letters via blind drop. I'm not sure what sort of people like us they might have, so there’s too much risk.”
Jubilee didn’t turn around as she spoke, as if whatever was beyond the window was easier to look at then Kurt.
He stopped in his tracks before reaching her.
"...I see. Do you know how long 'a while' might be?"
“A day, a month…years,” Jubilee sighed on the last and rubbed a hand against the back of her neck. “I think you understand what comes next?”
"I think I might", Kurt said quietly. "You wish me not to wait for you."
“I won’t be giving you a choice in the matter,” Jubilee noted, finally turning to face him, she’d done all her crying earlier and now she met his gaze with a determined look. “I can’t be who I need to be and love you. I’m sorry.”
"Well, then." Whatever he was feeling was tucked away behind the calm mask, at least for now. "If your mind is made up, I suppose there is nothing more to say. But if I thought there was a chance..."
“There isn’t,” Jubilee cut him off almost brutally, as she gestured to the stack of boxes she’d already packed. “I’ll come back for the rest when I can, but if I can’t, I’ll get one of the others to do it. I figured since I’m the one going away, you could be the one to keep the room.”
She felt scoured, like someone had taken a cheese grater to her emotions and left them raw and bleeding but Remy and the guilds had trained her well. Nothing showed on her face beyond a distant politeness, maybe a hint of regret, but all in all it was as if this moment touched nothing at all inside.
"I think I would rather have another." He turned away from the boxes, and from her. "You should keep the ring. It might prove useful one day."
“I hope…”
Jubilee trailed off, not quite able to finish the sentiment. She wasn’t even sure what she’d wanted to say. That he would find someone else? That they would stay friends? She couldn’t say either, not even with her vaunted training and make it sound like she really meant it.
“Take care of yourself, Kurt.”
He didn't expect the first to be true, ever again. Not now. The second... perhaps, in time. He wasn't even angry, he found.
"You also, Jubilee. Come back alive."
Jubilee had been staring out the window of the suite she shared with Kurt for what felt like hours. It wasn't that she was the type to brood, it was about as far from her nature as you could get but she'd been unable to come up with an easy way to talk to Kurt without basically crushing him entirely.
She might have tried for operational ease to be as stone cold a bitch as she could be but that didn't mean she actually managed it very well. She just couldn't figure out a way around it, and she'd finally reached the stage that the pain of doing what she had to do way outweighed the comfort of simply letting things stay as they were.
She didn't think Kurt would have appreciated if she'd left it for the day before their wedding and she sure as shit knew Amanda would happily kill her if she let this go on to that point.
The door opened and closed behind her, and Kurt's distinctive footsteps approached.
“I have to go somewhere for awhile, and I have to go deep cover. No contact, not even letters via blind drop. I'm not sure what sort of people like us they might have, so there’s too much risk.”
Jubilee didn’t turn around as she spoke, as if whatever was beyond the window was easier to look at then Kurt.
He stopped in his tracks before reaching her.
"...I see. Do you know how long 'a while' might be?"
“A day, a month…years,” Jubilee sighed on the last and rubbed a hand against the back of her neck. “I think you understand what comes next?”
"I think I might", Kurt said quietly. "You wish me not to wait for you."
“I won’t be giving you a choice in the matter,” Jubilee noted, finally turning to face him, she’d done all her crying earlier and now she met his gaze with a determined look. “I can’t be who I need to be and love you. I’m sorry.”
"Well, then." Whatever he was feeling was tucked away behind the calm mask, at least for now. "If your mind is made up, I suppose there is nothing more to say. But if I thought there was a chance..."
“There isn’t,” Jubilee cut him off almost brutally, as she gestured to the stack of boxes she’d already packed. “I’ll come back for the rest when I can, but if I can’t, I’ll get one of the others to do it. I figured since I’m the one going away, you could be the one to keep the room.”
She felt scoured, like someone had taken a cheese grater to her emotions and left them raw and bleeding but Remy and the guilds had trained her well. Nothing showed on her face beyond a distant politeness, maybe a hint of regret, but all in all it was as if this moment touched nothing at all inside.
"I think I would rather have another." He turned away from the boxes, and from her. "You should keep the ring. It might prove useful one day."
“I hope…”
Jubilee trailed off, not quite able to finish the sentiment. She wasn’t even sure what she’d wanted to say. That he would find someone else? That they would stay friends? She couldn’t say either, not even with her vaunted training and make it sound like she really meant it.
“Take care of yourself, Kurt.”
He didn't expect the first to be true, ever again. Not now. The second... perhaps, in time. He wasn't even angry, he found.
"You also, Jubilee. Come back alive."
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Date: 2017-10-26 02:36 pm (UTC)(great log)