xp_logs | Nathan and Domino, Sunday afternoon

Backdated to Sunday afternoon, not long before Domino leaves. She and Nathan admire his birthday-gun, and touch on some of the things they very badly need to talk about.

"So this is what you spent my money on," Domino observed, examining the Glock with a pleased smile. "Nice," she commented, testing the weight of it, "very nice. You've always had good taste."

Nathan leaned back against the edge of Moira's desk, smiling slightly. "Seemed like a shame to lock it away," he admitted, "but, well, in this house..."

Domino laughed aloud, grinning at him. "Hey, I've been here for all of five hours and I can already tell that the last thing they need is free access to firearms."

"You're not mellowing on me, are you?"

"No," Domino assured him. "Just told the part of me that piped up with 'But free access to firearms seems like it would resolve so much around here!' to shut up, that's all." He chuckled, but then rubbed at his forehead, leaning a little more heavily against the desk, and she frowned. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." He made himself smile at her. "Just a bit of a headache." It wasn't even a lie.

"But you're awake and coherent, at least," Domino said, doing her very best to sound chipper. Her words to Pete aside, she hadn't really been all that happy to show up this morning just in time to see Nathan staggering and gray-faced after another one of these damned visions. "They're getting better?"

The forced smile turned wry, almost of its own accord. "Not so much," Nathan said. "I'm just coping with them better, that's all."

"Well, progress?" Domino offered, but couldn't quite make herself stop worrying.

Nathan shook his head, straightening up and ambling over in her direction. "Don't look at me like that," he said with another grating chuckle.

Her eyes narrowed slightly. He was laughing at her, very definitely laughing at her. "Like what?"

"Like you're scared," Nathan said gently, coming to a stop in front of her.

Domino pointed the Glock at him, only half-jokingly. "I suddenly remember that I was going to shoot you," she said, raising an eyebrow.

"It's not loaded," he told her, his eyes gleaming.

"Damn, old man," Domino said, mock-disapprovingly. "You sure are slipping."

"Let's be realistic," Nathan said, reaching out a hand, palm-up. She hesitated for a moment, then put the gun into it. "I may like guns, but I don't really need them."

"So this is you putting away your previous life?" Domino asked, watching him go over and put the gun back in the cabinet. It bothered her; there had been something awfully final about his words, and despite everything she had been hearing about how well he was doing compared to a couple of weeks ago, she didn't like it.

Nathan stopped, sighing, and then finished relocking the cabinet. "G.W. told you," he said dryly, wondering why G.W. couldn't have waited until after they were both back in Berlin.

"Of course he did," Domino said a bit angrily, reading his expression. What, he hadn't even been planning to tell her to her face? "I think I'd like to hear it from you, too, though. Not just the what but the why."

Nathan took a moment before he turned around, another before he answered. "It's not just the visions," he said slowly, raising his eyes to meet hers. "Or Moira."

Domino folded her arms across her chest, regarding him with as much equanimity as she could muster. "G.W. thinks you're burned out," she said, still a bit too harshly. But she was angry, damn it, angry that he could think there was any way she was going to let him quietly slip out of their life with the Pack and not at least make a token fuss about it.

"It's probably as good a description as any," Nathan said mildly. He hadn't handled this well at all, he acknowledged to himself, seeing the lingering anger in those violet eyes. "Maybe I just need a nice, long vacation?" he suggested, smiling a bit tightly.

"Or a change?" Domino challenged him.

"A little of both?" Nathan stopped, sighing. "Dom..." He stopped again, and then called her by her real name, the pre-combat pits name she had only ever confided to him. Her eyes widened, her lips trembling a little as she pressed them together. "I never wanted to hurt you. Ever. But I didn't handle you growing up very well, did I?"

"No, you didn't," Domino said, telling herself that she really didn't need to hold her breath. He had that look in his eyes, the one that meant he was determined to get out what he needed to say, so he wasn't going to back off just because he was reminded that he did indeed have an audience.

Nathan's smile wobbled a little, back and forth between defensive and ironic and warm. "You'd think I'd be able to do one thing or the other," he said more quietly, never breaking eye contact with her. "Be stupid and treat you like you're still that scrawny little kid I rescued in Hong Kong, or be smart and treat you like the amazing woman you grew into."

"Consistency is the hallmark of a little mind," Domino muttered. You are not going to get all choked up, she told herself fiercely. Not in front of him, not in front of anyone.

Nathan raised an unsteady hand, laying it on her shoulder hesitantly. She didn't slap his hand away. "I'm sorry," he murmured, letting the regret into his voice. "I didn't see... maybe I didn't want to see. It was easier that way, but it wasn't fair to you." He managed a wan smile. "I'll try and do better, if you're willing to bear with me. That's all I can do... well, that and let you shoot me, if you're still leaning that way."

She raised her chin, taking his hand and squeezing it for a moment before letting it go. "No shooting. I forgive you," she said as magnanimously as she could. Inwardly, the part of her that had been grieving, just a little, since that IM conversation finally quieted. The ache was still there, but she imagined it would fade the rest of the way in time. If she couldn't have him in her bed, she could still have his love and respect, and shared experiences that were all theirs. That was something. Actually, that was a lot.

"I do love you, tiger," Nathan said wistfully, seeing the play of emotions across her face, sensing the shift in her thoughts as they washed against his shields. "And I'm so proud of you. I don't think I've ever said that enough."

Domino made a noise and stepped forward, throwing her arms around him and not caring if he put her through a wall for it. But he didn't even flinch. "Just--shut up, okay?" she muttered into his chest, and if her voice shook a little, she could just let that go. This once. "Before this starts sounding like good-bye."

"It's not," Nathan told her, hugging her back. This wasn't going to make it all okay, he knew. Words couldn't. But he fully intended to mend his ways. She was too important to him not to make this right. "No matter where we go, no matter what happens." He drew back a little, smiling down at her, and if his own eyes were a bit blurry, she didn't call him on it. "You don't get rid of me that easily."

"Promise?"

"Promise."