xp_logs | Topaz and Maya (Backdated to Wednesday)

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Topaz finds Maya camping out in the hall. And either gets through to her or proves once and for all that she shouldn't be allowed to talk to teenagers. The jury is still out. Backdated to earlyearlyearly Wednesday morning.

Topaz took a deep breath, making sure her earbuds were pushed into her ears, her music turned up all the way. She had to go back to school. Which meant leaving the mansion. Which meant leaving her suite. The plan was to escape early and come back late, and hopefully avoid having to face... anyone.

That plan was promptly ended when she stepped outside and saw Maya across the hall from her door. She hooked her bag over her shoulder, biting down a sigh, and said "What are you doing?"

Maya had been sleeping sitting up, head pillowed on folded arms that lent precariously against her folded knees. The start as she came awake at Topaz's voice almost caused her to crack her head against the wooden floor beneath her but she caught herself in time and blinked blearily up at the older woman.

"Um...Stopping people from kidnapping you?" she said, looking sheepish considering she'd fallen asleep while ostensibly being on watch. It wasn't exactly her fault given that she hadn't slept much at all in the last few days. Still, that didn't really excuse her falling down on the job. "Sorry, guess I'm not that great of a body guard."

Topaz shook her head, pulling out her earphones and leaning back against her door, sliding to sit so she was on the same level as Maya. “No one is going to kidnap me at the mansion,” she said quietly. “It’s fine. This is probably still the safest place.”

Maya closed her eyes and allowed her head to fall back against the wall behind her. She was happy that Topaz was finally out of her room, she had been wanting to see her for a while to make sure she was okay. But that didn’t make it okay that she’d gotten kidnapped, or that Maya’s first instinct was to shout about it.

“I don’t think this place is any safer than any other place. No matter that they like to try and sell that.”

“I noticed you had opinions on that,” Topaz replied. “You don’t think you were a bit harsh?”

“Maybe. MA called my Dad, and now Wade and he grounded me for a week because of it.”

Maya sounded almost resigned, and maybe a tad bit resentful of the whole thing. Frankly, she hadn’t seen anything wrong with how she’d reacted and it wasn’t like they hadn’t given just as good. Nobody seemed to care that Xavin and QQ had pretty much told her that she was a liar and should kill herself.

So no. “That thread got pretty nasty all around,” Topaz said quietly.

“QQ is such a drama queen.” Maya noted, giving Topaz a concerned look. “So…are you okay?"

“Yeah, just needed a couple mental health days,” Topaz side-stepped the question a bit. “You were pretty harsh on Amanda, don’t you think? Doesn’t excuse anything anyone else said, but still."

“She hates me, and she wasn’t doing anything to find you properly,” Maya said with a scowl. “I mean, she talks to cities, how can she not find one person when she can talk to an entire city?”

“It’s not always that simple,” Topaz said. She couldn’t deny the hating thing. Amanda had never told a student to fuck off. “The other side has magic too, and they use it. The... person who took me had the area warded. She was essentially blind to us until we left that zone.”

“I didn’t know that,” Maya admitted, somewhat grudgingly, not yet ready to let go of her resentment toward Amanda. It wasn’t her fault that the woman had taken an instant dislike to her. She got on fine with Topaz, so she had no idea why her mentor had such a hateon for her. “She always acts like she can do everything.”

”She wants to be able to do everything,” Topaz corrected. “Protect all her kids is pretty high at the top of the list. That’s not always possible though. And it sucks having to admit that. She was in a bad position this weekend. Everyone was.”

“Then she should stop lying to herself and everyone else and being a complete bitch when someone expects her to prove it.”

Maya banged her hands on her knees and stood.

“Everyone always promises things are going to be okay. Everyone keeps saying that I just have to be brave and be good and don’t be angry, or mean. Nobody ever understands that I just need them to stop lying to me.”

Topaz stayed on the floor, looking up at Maya with a surprising calmness. “Okay,” she said. “Here’s the truth. The truth is that half the people over the age of thirty lost students and friends in M-Day. The magic class? It went from three to one because everyone but me died. Graduating class? Five or six to two because only Hope and I survived. In fact we were the only survivors under eighteen, period. Everyone else? Gone. My entire class, every single friend, every single student, gone. I didn’t leave the mansion because I wanted a leisurely vacation - I left because I couldn’t deal with anything so I bailed out the minute I turned eighteen.

“Not everyone is me, though. Most of them are stronger, and they want to believe they can stop that from happening again. That they can protect us every step of the way. And they try, but sometimes things go out of their control. Sometimes shite happens-“ like an evil relative coming out of nowhere and deciding to bring his dead wife back to life, “and it’s not something you can plan for. And then you have to try and find a solution because you know everyone is looking at you for one, because you always have the solution, because you seem like you always know what you’re doing. But you don’t have that solution, and someone.....” Topaz’ voice drifted off for a moment as she considered her next words carefully, “someone you’ve taken responsibility for, someone you’ve nearly raised, someone you always want to protect because they’re a reminder of what can happen when you let your guard down, disappears or gets hurt and that’s on your shoulders.”

Topaz finally stood, pulling her bag up more securely onto her shoulder. “They don’t lie on purpose. And I know that doesn’t make it any better. I don’t stand for the bullshit either. But I do know, for whatever reason, the people here have my back. It’s something I’ve had to put my trust in multiple times, and they’ve always come through. Sometimes I have to wait and stay alive long enough to be helped, but that’s something I’m annoyingly good at, so that’s the easy part.” She smiled humourlessly. “No one expects you not to be angry. I’m sure everyone was angry that night, and scared, and exhausted because honestly, my drama is exhausting sometimes. And if you want the truth, I’m always happy to give it to you. I don’t plan on getting kidnapped any time in the near future, so just ask. The answer might not always be as simple as it seems though. No one lies on purpose around here, at least not in my experience. They just say what they wish was true. That they can protect everyone twenty-four/seven. That the people they’re responsible for are always going to be okay and come home without any problems. And yeah, that has its issues. That has a lot of issues, honestly. And I’ve seen some of them first hand.” The emotions from draining Amanda had long been lost to time, but the memory of it all had stayed. And Topaz had an annoying amount of time to think sometimes. “But the truth is... no one can be safe one hundred percent of the time. Even if the world turns mutant friendly tomorrow, there’s still always something else out there.

“One day, you’re going to be in trouble. That’s not a comment on you, it’s just a fact. The sky is blue, grass is green, and we attract trouble around here. Some of it’s bad luck, some of it is our own screw ups. But whatever the cause is, the people here will help. Because that’s what they do. They can’t keep us all out of danger, but they can help us when we get into it.”

Topaz finally paused, taking a deep breath. That was the most she had spoken since Sunday. Her throat hurt. “Like I said, the truth isn’t simple. But it’s there, if you read between the lines. If you look at the people who were here before M-Day, you can see it in them. They want to think they can stop something like that from happening again. And reality is a harsh son of a bitch.”

“And you wonder why we like you, why I like you.”

Maya smiled wryly and ran a hand through her hair before she leaned back against the wall behind her and tried some of the deep breathing exercises Haller had shown her.

“I know they don’t mean to lie. I’m frightened so much sometimes, and I get so angry that they probably don’t even care enough to coddle me. Well, maybe Wade but he doesn’t think the same way the others do. But the stuff they say to the others, the way they act. I just want to shut them up. They can’t have it both ways. They can’t pretend that what they wish is true and then expect me not to call them on the fact that they can’t protect us. I want them to admit that they need our help as much as we need theirs. I want them to stop pretending that just because we’re teenagers that we’re stupid and all our decisions are bad. I guess I want a lot.”

"I don't think you want a lot," Topaz said. "It's a double-edged sword. And I understand being angry - believe me, I do." She had spent the better part of her first six months at Xavier's bitter and angry and pushing away everyone away. "But for what it's worth, I've never heard anyone call yours or your classmates' decisions stupid or bad." She tilted her head thoughtfully. "Actually from stories I've heard, you might be one of the best classes Xavier's has ever had. Of course I say that now, tomorrow you'll end up in space or something," she added wryly. "I can't say for sure what's on their minds. I just feel things, I don't read them. I do think sometimes they forget we're old enough to take care of ourselves. I know Amanda still looks at me and sees the.... difficult teenager she pulled out of a bad situation. And that is what it is, I've accepted it. But if you want to be treated differently, then you have to talk to people - preferably without insulting them. Change something. Don't run out and join a team or anything," she added quickly. The last thing she needed was someone getting on her back for encouraging Maya to join the spies or something. Amanda might actually kill her. "Maybe volunteer for.... you know what, I have no idea. I don't know what goes on around here anymore to be honest, I stopped paying attention months ago. We don't have a community bulletin board or anything."

“Community outreach...” Maya mused thoughtfully. “I guess I could try some of that. I mean, I already have an online thing but I could do something at school.”

"Yeah, that might be good," Topaz said with nod. "Speaking of school, you should probably get some sleep before you have to go. I'm heading out myself."

“Well, now that I know you’re not going to do anything stupid like get kidnapped again, I suppose I can get some sleep.” Maya replied with a grin, she felt more positive after her talk with Topaz. Like she could actually do something. “Just don’t tell Wade I was up this late, or he’ll ground my butt for another week.”

"Of course, I'm no snitch," Topaz said with a faint smile, pushing herself off the wall. "See you later."