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xp_logsAfter Angelo falls asleep, Marie comes to a formal conclusion about her limitations where those she cares about are concerned.
Manuel was in the infirmary. Amanda was in the infirmary. Shinobi and Sarah had taken off. Paige had taken off. Marie was probably a mess. Or trying not to be a mess.
Logan pulled on a pair of sweatpants and left his room, heading down the stairs to Marie's suite. His hair was still dripping steadily onto the towel slung round his shoulders and he rapped sharply on her door, twice, before leaning against the frame.
Marie got up quickly and carefully so as not to disturb Angelo and tucked the quilt in around him.
She opened the door for Logan. "Shh, Angelo's finally asleep." She was still dressed in the clothes she'd worn to teach that day and was looking rumpled and a little haggard. There was a first aid kit on the table, still open, and a couple crumpled, wet cloths beside it. Angelo was curled up on the couch, tucked in with heaps of quilts. The suite was completely dark except for a pair of candles burning on the coffee table.
Logan raised an eyebrow. And the other one, Angelo. Right.
He stepped inside and, noting the first aid kit, wondered what had happened. "Rough day, huh, baby?" he murmured quietly, an apologetic look on his face.
"Well, for some of us." Marie started cleaning up. "Angelo... takes things out on himself, a little like I did. Only with cigarettes. He made a bit of a mess." Her tone was completely casual, as though she hadn't been cleaning ash out of his burns a half hour before. "I don't suppose there's any word on Amanda or Manny, is there?"
Logan started to shake his head, then nodded. "Think Bartlet said somethin' 'bout them givin' Manuel some time for his mind t'deal with th'shock or somethin'. He's got some burns, but they'll heal, she said." He didn't know anything about Amanda.
"That's good." Marie put the first aid kit back in the kitchen and then came back to check on Angelo again. The young man was dead to the world for the moment and she stroked his hair gently, then tucked him in a little better. "I suppose we should be thinking about sleep too." She started to take her gloves off and headed for the bedroom. "I might want to sleep out here tonight, though, to keep an eye on him."
Logan looked at Angelo, and then at Marie. He nodded slowly. "Whatever y'want." He thought she could use a night of uninterrupted rest, but her sense of responsibility for her friends -- friends? were they really? -- wouldn't allow for that, probably.
"He has nightmares," she said, tossing her soiled gloves in the laundry and beginning to undo her blouse. From the look of the bed, she'd been there already, reading, and been interupted. "He won't sleep through the night."
Logan tried to be supportive and to respect her friends' right to her time and attention. He did. But, dammit, they were wearing her down and he knew it. They kept getting themselves into these stupid-ass messes and... He took a breath. "He's gotta roommate of 'is own, don't he?" He tried to make it sound less grumpy than it was.
"Jono, yes. He's not really the caregiver type." Marie tossed blouse and bra in the laundry and leaned on her desk, bending to take her stockings off. "It's here or in medlab, I think. I don't trust him not to hurt himself again if he wakes up."
"Bartlet's trained fer this stuff, y'know..." Logan walked forward to trace her spine with a fingertip. "But if y'wanna watch out fer 'im, I ain't gonna argue." Well, anymore than he already had.
"He trusts me. More fool him." She straightened and tossed her hair back and looked at Logan. "I can't do this. I'll do it a little longer, but I don't have it in me to keep it up. I don't have any power to deliver consequences and all I can do is try by force of will to prevent disasters and then pick up the pieces when I fail. It's never enough. I quit." She reached for the zipper at the back of her skirt and undid it, still looking up at him.
Logan was relieved. And sad. And really fucking pissed off. How /dare/ they make her feel as though she'd failed them, when she'd given them so much? How dare they hurt her like that?
He slid one hand into her hair, bringing his mouth down on hers. He was just this side of gentle, teeth scraping over her lips as he pushed his tongue inside. His other hand slid into her skirt, pushing it down her hips. Fuck Angelo, he didn't deserve her time and for right now, at least, he wasn't getting it.
The kiss was unexpected and Marie suddenly felt like only Logan's hand tangled in her hair and his mouth on hers were holding her up. She whimpered almost inaudibly and yielded to the kiss gratefully, hands sliding up around his neck as her skirt fell away around her feet. Part of her worried about Angelo, if he were still sleeping, and what if he were to have a nightmare... but the rest of her was distracted by the demand of Logan's kisses and she told herself that she'd hear Angelo if he woke and needed her.
His hand slid over her hip, outlining the edge of her panties, and he pulled her forward against him. He didn't spare a second thought for Angelo, all his attention focused on Marie. She was what mattered most, after all, to him, and she was soft and yielding against him, her mouth open and her back arched.
It was like her strings had been cut, the sudden absence of tension, and tears threatened to come and ruin the moment. The towel hanging from Logan's shoulders was rough against her breasts and palms and she leaned into him gratefully. "I'm sorry," she whispered between kisses. "I wish I could do it and I can't."
"Shh, baby, it's okay," he murmured against her mouth. "Y'can't take care a everybody an' sometimes y'gotta take care a you, first. They'll understand." He walked backward toward the bed, pulling her with him as the backs of his knees hit and he let himself fall.
"Even if they don't," she slowed her own descent to a drift so that she was hovering just above him, her body barely brushing his, "it doesn't matter." Her hair fell down around both of them and she put her hands out to touch his face, then kissed him delicately.
Manuel was in the infirmary. Amanda was in the infirmary. Shinobi and Sarah had taken off. Paige had taken off. Marie was probably a mess. Or trying not to be a mess.
Logan pulled on a pair of sweatpants and left his room, heading down the stairs to Marie's suite. His hair was still dripping steadily onto the towel slung round his shoulders and he rapped sharply on her door, twice, before leaning against the frame.
Marie got up quickly and carefully so as not to disturb Angelo and tucked the quilt in around him.
She opened the door for Logan. "Shh, Angelo's finally asleep." She was still dressed in the clothes she'd worn to teach that day and was looking rumpled and a little haggard. There was a first aid kit on the table, still open, and a couple crumpled, wet cloths beside it. Angelo was curled up on the couch, tucked in with heaps of quilts. The suite was completely dark except for a pair of candles burning on the coffee table.
Logan raised an eyebrow. And the other one, Angelo. Right.
He stepped inside and, noting the first aid kit, wondered what had happened. "Rough day, huh, baby?" he murmured quietly, an apologetic look on his face.
"Well, for some of us." Marie started cleaning up. "Angelo... takes things out on himself, a little like I did. Only with cigarettes. He made a bit of a mess." Her tone was completely casual, as though she hadn't been cleaning ash out of his burns a half hour before. "I don't suppose there's any word on Amanda or Manny, is there?"
Logan started to shake his head, then nodded. "Think Bartlet said somethin' 'bout them givin' Manuel some time for his mind t'deal with th'shock or somethin'. He's got some burns, but they'll heal, she said." He didn't know anything about Amanda.
"That's good." Marie put the first aid kit back in the kitchen and then came back to check on Angelo again. The young man was dead to the world for the moment and she stroked his hair gently, then tucked him in a little better. "I suppose we should be thinking about sleep too." She started to take her gloves off and headed for the bedroom. "I might want to sleep out here tonight, though, to keep an eye on him."
Logan looked at Angelo, and then at Marie. He nodded slowly. "Whatever y'want." He thought she could use a night of uninterrupted rest, but her sense of responsibility for her friends -- friends? were they really? -- wouldn't allow for that, probably.
"He has nightmares," she said, tossing her soiled gloves in the laundry and beginning to undo her blouse. From the look of the bed, she'd been there already, reading, and been interupted. "He won't sleep through the night."
Logan tried to be supportive and to respect her friends' right to her time and attention. He did. But, dammit, they were wearing her down and he knew it. They kept getting themselves into these stupid-ass messes and... He took a breath. "He's gotta roommate of 'is own, don't he?" He tried to make it sound less grumpy than it was.
"Jono, yes. He's not really the caregiver type." Marie tossed blouse and bra in the laundry and leaned on her desk, bending to take her stockings off. "It's here or in medlab, I think. I don't trust him not to hurt himself again if he wakes up."
"Bartlet's trained fer this stuff, y'know..." Logan walked forward to trace her spine with a fingertip. "But if y'wanna watch out fer 'im, I ain't gonna argue." Well, anymore than he already had.
"He trusts me. More fool him." She straightened and tossed her hair back and looked at Logan. "I can't do this. I'll do it a little longer, but I don't have it in me to keep it up. I don't have any power to deliver consequences and all I can do is try by force of will to prevent disasters and then pick up the pieces when I fail. It's never enough. I quit." She reached for the zipper at the back of her skirt and undid it, still looking up at him.
Logan was relieved. And sad. And really fucking pissed off. How /dare/ they make her feel as though she'd failed them, when she'd given them so much? How dare they hurt her like that?
He slid one hand into her hair, bringing his mouth down on hers. He was just this side of gentle, teeth scraping over her lips as he pushed his tongue inside. His other hand slid into her skirt, pushing it down her hips. Fuck Angelo, he didn't deserve her time and for right now, at least, he wasn't getting it.
The kiss was unexpected and Marie suddenly felt like only Logan's hand tangled in her hair and his mouth on hers were holding her up. She whimpered almost inaudibly and yielded to the kiss gratefully, hands sliding up around his neck as her skirt fell away around her feet. Part of her worried about Angelo, if he were still sleeping, and what if he were to have a nightmare... but the rest of her was distracted by the demand of Logan's kisses and she told herself that she'd hear Angelo if he woke and needed her.
His hand slid over her hip, outlining the edge of her panties, and he pulled her forward against him. He didn't spare a second thought for Angelo, all his attention focused on Marie. She was what mattered most, after all, to him, and she was soft and yielding against him, her mouth open and her back arched.
It was like her strings had been cut, the sudden absence of tension, and tears threatened to come and ruin the moment. The towel hanging from Logan's shoulders was rough against her breasts and palms and she leaned into him gratefully. "I'm sorry," she whispered between kisses. "I wish I could do it and I can't."
"Shh, baby, it's okay," he murmured against her mouth. "Y'can't take care a everybody an' sometimes y'gotta take care a you, first. They'll understand." He walked backward toward the bed, pulling her with him as the backs of his knees hit and he let himself fall.
"Even if they don't," she slowed her own descent to a drift so that she was hovering just above him, her body barely brushing his, "it doesn't matter." Her hair fell down around both of them and she put her hands out to touch his face, then kissed him delicately.
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Date: 2004-04-20 01:29 am (UTC)If Angelo was awake and in a (very) slightly better mental place (ie, his normal state), he'd agree with him. Which is kinda sad, I guess. And scary.