[Scott, Betsy] Don't dwell on what has passed away

[x-cyclops.livejournal.com]

Scott and Betsy get out for that walk she promises on Monday night and some of the truths come out when they talk. It's not better, but it's getting there.


Scott locked down his computer with a sigh of relief and sat back in his chair, waiting for Betsy to come by the office. There was no way he could get away from the house for even an hour but a walk would do. He wanted to see her, wondered what she'd have to say, how she'd explain herself, and how long he could hold out without demanding explanations. He got up and pulled his jacket on, anxious to go.

Betsy was already outside his door, had been for a few minutes, but she couldn't bring herself to knock. Even without depending on her telepathy, she knew he would have questions. She had to hope that if anything, Scott would understand that she didn't have all the answers, nor did she wish to. It was only a series of bad circumstances, which sounded much like her life, than anything else she could put into words. Yes, he would have to understand.

Betsy straightened her shoulders and knocked on the door. "Scott? Your escort has arrived."

He opened the door almost instantly, his worries gone for the moment in the surge of happiness at seeing her. "Come to take me away from all this?" he asked hopefully, smiling down at her.

She returned the smile, her face lighting up. Offering him her arm, she winked at him. "Of course. Now if you'll be so kind to join me for a walk, we can get this rescue underway."

Scott took Betsy's arm, pulling her close to him. Her hands were bandaged and his smile faded when that fact registered. He let her lead him out of the school in silence, enjoying being close to her for the moment, before speaking.

"I'm not going to ask about the bandages," he said at last. "If you want to tell me the truth about them, I'm listening, but I don't want to put either of us through the awkwardness of excuses." He tried to keep his voice smooth and neutral, but his expression was troubled.

She smiled up at him, somewhat sadly. She reveled in the feel of his arm and leaned in. God how she loved the way his cologne smelled. Betsy was alittle caught up in reacquainting herself that she almost didn't hear his question.

Bandages? She looked down her hands. I'd almost forgotten about those. Betsy felt more than heard the tension, in the tightening of his muscles and the stern set of his jaw.

Remembering her promise to herself that there would be no more room for lies. "I've been practicing in the Danger Room, trying to refamiliarize myself with some of my old programs. And well, I got alittle more enthused than I should've."

He was ready for a lie and when it didn't come, it took a moment for him to get his head around what he was hearing. He'd been braced for an excuse. "You saw Hank about it then?" he asked, running fingers lightly over the gauze on one of her hands. "It's nothing serious?"

"Nothing a few stitches couldn't help and yes, I did go see Hank. Though, I didn't particulary tell him what happened." She offered to him. No lies. "I didn't want him to worry anymore than he has been about me."

She was caught alittle offguard by his open affection and it made her blush. Feeling like a silly schoolgirl, she tried to take her hand back.

"He's not the only one who's been worried about you," Scott pointed out, unwilling to relinquish her hand. The blush made him want to smile, but there was still so much weighing on him. "I was watching you," he said. Telling her the truth was like shaking a burden off of his shoulders, and he waited for her to get angry at him.

"I know," she said in a hushed voice. Betsy placed a tentative hand up to cup his face, to make him look at her. "How did you know I was there?"

He met her eyes, ready for the storm. "I had it set to alert me when you were down there," he said evenly. "Because I was worried about you, that you might push yourself too hard, punish yourself for what happened. You've said so little, and been so distant..." He looked away then, shaking his head a little. "It was one of the few ways I had to protect you from anything, including yourself. I'm not sorry."

She couldn't help but recoil, she didn't know she had an audience. That Scott was watching her made it feel worse. If only she'd scan the surroundings before starting. She shook her head at that. No, no she couldn't do that just yet. It was still too soon. Her face betrayed the anger she felt for herself. For being so weak.

"I don't know why I pushed back the way I did." Betsy paused for a moment, tightening her hand around his. "No, that's a lie. I do know. I didn't want you to have to worry about me. With everything that's been happening, I know you're reaching your breaking point. And our timing hasn't exactly been the best." It had been the closest she'd gotten to acknowledging Jean and everything they had together. It didn't help that she felt like a usurper of that love, a fake. "You had so much love for her and I didn't want to taint that with my presence."

Scott stared down at Betsy for long moment, his face a mask of disbelief, and then he reached out to gently pull her into his arms, ready to give up the effort if she rejected him.

"Don't," he said, and in spite of his attempted composure, it still came out a little brokenly. "Don't go away from me - not for my own good, because it's not." She was right, he was at the sticking point, where things were going to shatter or shift, and he didn't know which. All he did know was that he didn't want to be left behind again.

She relaxed, wrapping her arms him. Running a soothing hand up and down his back, she let out a ragged breath. Betsy slowly opened her mind to him, feeling the conflicting emotions pouring from him. She hadn't known. I'm sorry. "I won't leave you" she said unevenly into his shoulder.

Her hair smelled sweet and familiar and he pressed his cheek to it as he gathered her close against his chest. Her arms were slim but strong and her touch made tension unravel a little, just enough that he could breathe a little easier. "Thank you," he said quietly. For the truth, for staying... "For everything."