Topaz and Kurt | Apologies, Finally
Jul. 29th, 2018 05:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xp_topaz posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
xp_logsIn which Topaz apologizes for being awful misdirected anger and trauma, and Kurt is far too kind.
Jean had gotten Topaz's Kindle and a pair of earphones. She had kicked the blankets off and was doing her best to stay stretched out, rather curling up and balling into the corner of the bed. She had her earphones in, music playing while her eyes moved rapidly through the book she was reading, and by all rights she shouldn't have noticed the man standing in the door of her room. But she did, and like a coward it took her at least a minute to pull the earphones out and look up.
"Hi, Kurt." Her voice was quiet.
He'd been waiting patiently for her, rather than disturb her, but since she'd noticed...
"Hello, Topaz." His own was nothing but kind.
She set her kindle aside, dropping her eyes to the floor for a moment then looking up again. "I um... How are you?"
"Well enough." He shrugged slightly. "Better every day as people's health improves."
"Jean said the curse was broken?" Topaz asked. She trusted Jean, of course, but having it confirmed would help. Trusting reality was hard at the moment.
"Indeed it is", he said with a nod, "and though some healing will still be needed, none had injuries as such from it."
Not in the sense of cuts or broken bones, anyway.
No, but mental injuries would last long passed the time it took for physical injuries to heal. "Good," Topaz murmured, letting out a long breath. "That's something, anyways."
"And you?" he asked, looking over what he could see of her. "How are you?"
"I..." She didn't know how to put what she was feeling into a few words. "I'm sorry," was what she finally blurted out, taking a deep breath and meeting Kurt's gaze head on for the first time since the conversation had started. "I'm sorry about everything, I'm sorry about how I acted, I'm sorry about... about what I said, I'm... I'm sorry."
He was already moving towards the bed with the first apology, and had his arms around her before she finished the last.
"I know."
Topaz flinched slightly at the initial touch, but at the same time it kept her grounded in reality as rising anxiety threatened to overtake her. "I didn't... I didn't mean any of it," she whispered. "I'm sorry." She shifted so she could comfortably return the hug. She hadn't been particularly kind to anyone in the last few months, but the Seftons had gotten the brunt of it.
"I came to understand that", he says quietly. "You wished to push us away."
"It was stupid," Topaz muttered. That was the conclusion she had come to with all that time alone, thinking. She had been stupid and selfish for months.
"Perhaps." He smiled crookedly. "But not, I think, a kind of stupidity many of us have not indulged in."
Topaz laughed once, wiping her eyes over Kurt's shoulder before pulling away. "The five stages of living at Xavier's." Her smile was weak, but it was there. "Hating it, liking it, hating it again, being stupid, and acceptance?"
"With variations", Kurt said seriously, "yes, I think that sounds roughly accurate."
"I think I've hit all of them then." She curled her legs under herself, eyes on the floor again. "Mostly."
"And now", he asked gently, squeezing her hand, "acceptance? Of your place here, too?"
Topaz looked up again, nodding. "Yeah," she said quietly. "Maybe. It... It might be time to work on it, at least."
Kurt nodded. "Just know you will have help with the work. You need only ask."
"I know." And, weirdly enough, she did. If Kurt could really forgive her for the things she'd said (and he certainly had nothing to gain by lying), then he had no reason to lie about anything else. "I think... I'd like that help. Since I literally just walked off to die and I'm somehow back here, I think it's safe to say I'm in this for the long haul."
Kurt could forgive almost anything, given half a chance.
"We do not allow our own to just walk off to die, if we can help it."
"Noted." And it had only taken five years for that lesson to be drilled in.
Jean had gotten Topaz's Kindle and a pair of earphones. She had kicked the blankets off and was doing her best to stay stretched out, rather curling up and balling into the corner of the bed. She had her earphones in, music playing while her eyes moved rapidly through the book she was reading, and by all rights she shouldn't have noticed the man standing in the door of her room. But she did, and like a coward it took her at least a minute to pull the earphones out and look up.
"Hi, Kurt." Her voice was quiet.
He'd been waiting patiently for her, rather than disturb her, but since she'd noticed...
"Hello, Topaz." His own was nothing but kind.
She set her kindle aside, dropping her eyes to the floor for a moment then looking up again. "I um... How are you?"
"Well enough." He shrugged slightly. "Better every day as people's health improves."
"Jean said the curse was broken?" Topaz asked. She trusted Jean, of course, but having it confirmed would help. Trusting reality was hard at the moment.
"Indeed it is", he said with a nod, "and though some healing will still be needed, none had injuries as such from it."
Not in the sense of cuts or broken bones, anyway.
No, but mental injuries would last long passed the time it took for physical injuries to heal. "Good," Topaz murmured, letting out a long breath. "That's something, anyways."
"And you?" he asked, looking over what he could see of her. "How are you?"
"I..." She didn't know how to put what she was feeling into a few words. "I'm sorry," was what she finally blurted out, taking a deep breath and meeting Kurt's gaze head on for the first time since the conversation had started. "I'm sorry about everything, I'm sorry about how I acted, I'm sorry about... about what I said, I'm... I'm sorry."
He was already moving towards the bed with the first apology, and had his arms around her before she finished the last.
"I know."
Topaz flinched slightly at the initial touch, but at the same time it kept her grounded in reality as rising anxiety threatened to overtake her. "I didn't... I didn't mean any of it," she whispered. "I'm sorry." She shifted so she could comfortably return the hug. She hadn't been particularly kind to anyone in the last few months, but the Seftons had gotten the brunt of it.
"I came to understand that", he says quietly. "You wished to push us away."
"It was stupid," Topaz muttered. That was the conclusion she had come to with all that time alone, thinking. She had been stupid and selfish for months.
"Perhaps." He smiled crookedly. "But not, I think, a kind of stupidity many of us have not indulged in."
Topaz laughed once, wiping her eyes over Kurt's shoulder before pulling away. "The five stages of living at Xavier's." Her smile was weak, but it was there. "Hating it, liking it, hating it again, being stupid, and acceptance?"
"With variations", Kurt said seriously, "yes, I think that sounds roughly accurate."
"I think I've hit all of them then." She curled her legs under herself, eyes on the floor again. "Mostly."
"And now", he asked gently, squeezing her hand, "acceptance? Of your place here, too?"
Topaz looked up again, nodding. "Yeah," she said quietly. "Maybe. It... It might be time to work on it, at least."
Kurt nodded. "Just know you will have help with the work. You need only ask."
"I know." And, weirdly enough, she did. If Kurt could really forgive her for the things she'd said (and he certainly had nothing to gain by lying), then he had no reason to lie about anything else. "I think... I'd like that help. Since I literally just walked off to die and I'm somehow back here, I think it's safe to say I'm in this for the long haul."
Kurt could forgive almost anything, given half a chance.
"We do not allow our own to just walk off to die, if we can help it."
"Noted." And it had only taken five years for that lesson to be drilled in.
