Topaz and Kurt | Early Monday Morning
Oct. 1st, 2018 03:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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xp_logsTopaz doesn't sleep. Neither does Kurt.
Nights were probably the worst. Nights were the time when no one was around, and nobody could distract her.
On the nights when sleep was scarce, Topaz took a surprising amount of solace in the gym. Working in the library was good for distracting, but it didn't tire her out quite like a workout.
Tonight it was the punching bag. She'd been practicing using magic to create small shields around her fists, so she didn't need the huge boxing gloves - or need to worry about breaking her fingers. It was going pretty well.
Kurt had noticed this habit, though he didn't always follow her to the gym. Tonight, for whatever reason of his own, he had.
He wasn't sneaky - or maybe Topaz was just too alert. She didn't pay attention until one particularly hard blow cracked the shield around her left fist, and she realized how tired she was. She took a deep breath, leaning over to rest her hands on her knees, and called, "Still babysitting me?" There was no malice in her tone. Just exhaustion.
He was perched on the uneven bars, and offered a slightly abashed smile.
"Perhaps a little."
She took a deep breath, pushing herself up to look around, giving Kurt a small, crooked, humorless smile. "Do you ever sleep?"
"Sometimes", he said with a shrug. "But it seems I do not need as much of it at a time as other people."
And there was no one to notice his absence, these days.
The slight twinge of melancholy was hard to miss. Topaz dropped down to the floor, crossing her legs under herself. "How are you?" She hadn't particularly made much effort to stay caught up with... much of anything. She needed to work on that.
"As well as can be expected." He swung idly on the bars, a distraction technique. "Life goes on."
"Yeah." She watched him for a moment, eyes distant. "I'm sorry."
That got him to look directly at her, and he honestly wasn't sure which of the possibilities she meant when he asked, "For what?"
"Everything." Topaz drew her legs up to her chest, resting her forehead on her knees. "And I know I already apologized it just... doesn't feel like enough. I was awful to you."
"You were", he admitted calmly. "But I know why, and knowing why means I can forgive."
"And yet..." She looked up, meeting his gaze. "You're still sneaking around to watch me."
That got a rueful half-smile. "Not all the time. But yes, I suppose I... want to be sure you will be safe."
"I'm always safe," Topaz said dryly, almost smiling, but the expression dropped again. "That's not what I meant, though. You don't.... have to sneak around. I'm not going to break and start being terrible again. Or at least it's not in the plans for the immediate future."
"I doubt it was in your plans the first time", he said quietly. "But that was not really what I feared. I do not want you to think of yourself as a burden."
"I already think that." The sour note in her tone was half bitter, half joyful self-deprecation. "I'm.... working on that, though. Trying to wrap my around the fact that people worrying doesn't make me a burden."
Kurt nodded. "Exactly. It only means that we care what becomes of you."
Topaz gave him a small, wry smile. "That might feel normal someday."
"We can only hope", he agreed. "I think most things do, in time."
"And to think, all it took was me giving myself up to a family that wants to kill me." Topaz stood, stretching her arms. "Maybe if I do that enough I'll be a functioning human being."
He hopped lightly down off the bars, since she seemed to be finished.
"I would rather you did not do that again, all things considered."
That got him a real smile. "I think I'll try to avoid it for.... at least two years."
“I will take that”, he allowed. “And perhaps the Destines will be nursing their wounds and not try to take you again.”
Topaz frowned, remembering what Amanda had told her about her "new" history with Adam. She had a feeling this wasn't over quite yet. "We can only hope."
Nights were probably the worst. Nights were the time when no one was around, and nobody could distract her.
On the nights when sleep was scarce, Topaz took a surprising amount of solace in the gym. Working in the library was good for distracting, but it didn't tire her out quite like a workout.
Tonight it was the punching bag. She'd been practicing using magic to create small shields around her fists, so she didn't need the huge boxing gloves - or need to worry about breaking her fingers. It was going pretty well.
Kurt had noticed this habit, though he didn't always follow her to the gym. Tonight, for whatever reason of his own, he had.
He wasn't sneaky - or maybe Topaz was just too alert. She didn't pay attention until one particularly hard blow cracked the shield around her left fist, and she realized how tired she was. She took a deep breath, leaning over to rest her hands on her knees, and called, "Still babysitting me?" There was no malice in her tone. Just exhaustion.
He was perched on the uneven bars, and offered a slightly abashed smile.
"Perhaps a little."
She took a deep breath, pushing herself up to look around, giving Kurt a small, crooked, humorless smile. "Do you ever sleep?"
"Sometimes", he said with a shrug. "But it seems I do not need as much of it at a time as other people."
And there was no one to notice his absence, these days.
The slight twinge of melancholy was hard to miss. Topaz dropped down to the floor, crossing her legs under herself. "How are you?" She hadn't particularly made much effort to stay caught up with... much of anything. She needed to work on that.
"As well as can be expected." He swung idly on the bars, a distraction technique. "Life goes on."
"Yeah." She watched him for a moment, eyes distant. "I'm sorry."
That got him to look directly at her, and he honestly wasn't sure which of the possibilities she meant when he asked, "For what?"
"Everything." Topaz drew her legs up to her chest, resting her forehead on her knees. "And I know I already apologized it just... doesn't feel like enough. I was awful to you."
"You were", he admitted calmly. "But I know why, and knowing why means I can forgive."
"And yet..." She looked up, meeting his gaze. "You're still sneaking around to watch me."
That got a rueful half-smile. "Not all the time. But yes, I suppose I... want to be sure you will be safe."
"I'm always safe," Topaz said dryly, almost smiling, but the expression dropped again. "That's not what I meant, though. You don't.... have to sneak around. I'm not going to break and start being terrible again. Or at least it's not in the plans for the immediate future."
"I doubt it was in your plans the first time", he said quietly. "But that was not really what I feared. I do not want you to think of yourself as a burden."
"I already think that." The sour note in her tone was half bitter, half joyful self-deprecation. "I'm.... working on that, though. Trying to wrap my around the fact that people worrying doesn't make me a burden."
Kurt nodded. "Exactly. It only means that we care what becomes of you."
Topaz gave him a small, wry smile. "That might feel normal someday."
"We can only hope", he agreed. "I think most things do, in time."
"And to think, all it took was me giving myself up to a family that wants to kill me." Topaz stood, stretching her arms. "Maybe if I do that enough I'll be a functioning human being."
He hopped lightly down off the bars, since she seemed to be finished.
"I would rather you did not do that again, all things considered."
That got him a real smile. "I think I'll try to avoid it for.... at least two years."
“I will take that”, he allowed. “And perhaps the Destines will be nursing their wounds and not try to take you again.”
Topaz frowned, remembering what Amanda had told her about her "new" history with Adam. She had a feeling this wasn't over quite yet. "We can only hope."
