xp_logs | Amanda, Manuel - Tuesday evening

Taking Nathan's advice, Manuel goes looking for Amanda to apologise for this. No hot make-up sex today, always hot make up sex tomorrow. *grins*

Lyrics from "LIght At The End Of The Tunnel" - Something For Kate

Manuel was still getting used to the new warm presence in his mind, and he wasn't liking what he was feeling through it. She was upset, confused, and hurting inside. So he followed the link through the house, trying to home in on her location. Eventually, it led him out to the stables. He could feel her emotions there, hot and cold and sharply-defined to his empathic sense, and he deliberately made some noise so that she would know he was coming.

Amanda was standing - well, leaning was more accurate - against the warm bulk of Paige's horse, her forehead resting against his side, trying to take comfort in the somehow-familiar smell and feel and sound of Horse. It wasn't working as well as it usually did, her mind returning again and again to the scene the previous day, the contempt in Manuel's voice and face, the way he'd looked straight through her, like she was nothing... Then she heard footsteps - deliberately loud ones - and rubbed her sleeve quickly across her eyes to hide the fact she'd been crying.

Manuel stopped well-clear of Paige's horse and Amanda behind it. "Amanda? It's Manuel. I ... would like to talk to you. If I may."

"An' why would you want t' talk t' someone who ain't real?" The words came out bitter and angry, and she wound her fingers in the horse's mane to stop her fist from clenching.

Manuel sighed. "I... I know now that you _are_ real. I can feel you again in all your pissed-off and scared and confused and hurt glory. Look through the link, you can see me too. I... I have to apologize. Whatever happened in Mexico, I... I died inside. I didn't want to go on, not like _that_. Then Xavier restored the link, but I was blocking it off subconsciously to protect myself. That's why I said what I said to you. Gods Above, I regret those words now."

"Yeah, well, hearin' 'em weren't exactly a picnic either." Amanda's voice was raw with hurt. She ignored what he'd said about her looking through the link, she was tired of the empty hole in her mind, tired of poking it and feeling like she was falling into nothingness again. "So you can take yer apology an' shove it where the sun don't shine."

"I have not yet _begun_ to apologize," he said with a only somewhat-forced smile. "I know that I hurt you. Very, very badly. I respect your feeling - which, for me, is a major accomplishment. I don't even respect my OWN feelings half the time, from what Samson tells me. All I want to do is to tell you that I'm sorry, and beg you for ... forgiveness is too much to ask for. Another chance. I am not very good at apologizing."

With a weary sigh Amanda pushed herself away from the horse and moved around to its other side so she could look Manuel in the face. Light fell across the bruise on her cheekbone. "So what's brought about this whole change of heart? Not me, that's for sure."

Manuel smiled charmingly at Amanda. "Actually, yes, it was you. I can feel you hurting. I don't like it. I like it even less that _I_ was the one who hurt you. Forget about my mental state, forget about blocked links or any of that crap. Fact remains that I hurt you. I don't _like_ that much. As in "at all". So tell me how I can make amends, repair the damage."

He was looking _at_ her, not through her. Carefully, Amanda reached for the link, bracing herself for the pain... and instead found none. Just the concern and hope and regret and all the other emotions Manuel was feeling. "You mean it," she said, the hurt tone starting to slip from her voice. "I can feel it."

Manuel nods. "I can't hide from you. Not like this. And I don't want to. I cannot promise that it will always be pleasant or fun, but ... I can try. If you will."

"I..." Amanda took another step or two towards him, holding onto the side of the stall for support. She was getting stronger, but the last few days had been hard, and the shielding spell she'd cast the day before hadn't helped. "You said yesterday, you said you cared about me." She looked down. "I didn't know that. I figured it was just the link that made you want me."

Manuel shook his head. "Nope. I do care. Do you have any _idea_ how disconcerting that was to realize? If you want to know, it was Samson who made me realize it. I often don't do too well identifying my own emotions." he babbled. "I do not ask that you care for me in return - that's a laugh. I could compel it, but then it'd be meaningless. But no, it wasn't just the link. It was _you_. Nobody else treats me like a real person. They fear my power, they fear my attempts at protecting myself from them. They didn't understand. You never did that to me, even when you could have."

"Apparently I don't have much of a self-preservation instinct," she said wryly, the corners of her mouth lifting a little at the sight of the sophisticated, cocky Spaniard babbling like a schoolboy. "An' you never gave me a reason t' be afraid of you." She still hesitated. "What you said t' me yesterday... It was bad. You made me feel like I was nothin', same as Rack used to." She reached up to her face. "'S why I lost me rag an' hit you. It was like you were turnin' into him."

Manuel was trying very, very hard to not look at the decoration Amanda was sporting. Hot shame ran through him as he tried not to think about it. That, and a memory of some kind - a feeling of helplessness. "I don't know anything about Rack, other than that he was apparently the one who scarred you." he admitted.

She nodded. "He was the one who brought me up. Used me for me power, like a battery. A tool, an' that was it. Rom got me out. It was him in Mexico. He found me an' wanted me back. Threatened t' hurt people if I didn't." Amanda shivered at the memory, at all the memories that were coming back. "He was the one that undid Rom's spell, opened the link again, so he could distract me from what I was doin'."

Manuel went pale. "So I did nearly kill you." he said. "Shit. I'm gonna feel guilty about that for _weeks_."

"It weren't you, it were him. He found a weak place an' used it, that's all." She paused. "Nate didn't tell you he got into me head while I was in that coma, did he?"

Manuel's expression coupled with the surprise from over the link gave Amanda the answer to _THAT_ question. "He did? That was dangerous. Kwannon - well, never mind. I don't know if anything that bitch said is true or not." And, for some reason, that thought made him incredibly sad.

"It was mostly by accident. He fell asleep watchin' over me an' found himself in me head. But the thing is, it was you that stopped me followin' Rack. Emma broke Rack's hold on me before Pete killed him, yeah, but it was the link that stopped me goin' after him. He had a hold on me an' I couldn't break it. You an' the link held me back." She didn't ask about Kwannon just then, but made a note to later. If there was a later. "Between you an' Nate, you helped me get back."

Manuel was stunned. _Stunned_. "I did?" he said. "I had no idea. I guess I should be glad that the link has done us some good." And, without thinking, he stepped forward to wrap Amanda up in gigantic hug.

It wasn't her lingering weakness that made Amanda cling to Manuel. All the strain and the fear and the worry she'd been feeling was overwhelmed by the rush of feeling coming through the link. She buried her face in the hollow of his shoulder and let the tears come, not trying to stop them this time. "I thought I'd lost you," she said, her voice muffled. "I needed you, an' I couldn't find you."

Manuel was babbling in Castillian, but the emotions over the link came through loud and clear. Finally he got control over himself, and wiped a hand across his eyes to clear away the tears. "Well. Glad we got _that_ settled." he said shakily. "You are tired. You should rest. Because once you're well I think I am going to invite you into my room and make you scream, and I don't _care_ who hears."

"You won't hear me arguin' with that plan," she agreed with a watery smile. "An' yeah, rest sounds good. 'S a good thin' Moira's distracted at the moment, or she'd have me hide for bein' out here." She made no attempt to move, 'though, her arms wrapped around Manuel's waist and her head resting on his chest. "Y' know, this is the first time we've had the link workin' _an'_ we're both in our right minds. This is gunna be... odd."

Manuel just grinned. "Somehow, I think we'll survive. It has its advantages..." he said, while finding one of Amanda's ticklish spots and exploiting it mercilessly for a few seconds.

Amanda squealed, trying to bat him away and not fall over at the same time. "Oh, that is so not bloody fair. Just you wait 'til I'm back t' full speed - I won't be the only one screamin'," she threatened, giggling helplessly.

Manuel relented on his assault on Amanda's tickle-spots. "An incentive to learn to use the link. You will be able to do the same to me." he smirked.

"Definitely an incentive, then." With a grin, she pushed herself up onto her toes, pressing a kiss to Manuel's neck, just below his jaw, finishing with a gentle bite, all the while monitoring his reaction on the link and taking mental notes. "They tell me I'm a fast learner. Provided I got the right teacher."

Manuel doesn't show much on his face besides a slow smile, but judging by the link, Amanda is in imminent danger of being ravished right here in the barn. In front of the horses, no less. His sex drive, now that Amanda can see it directly, is a howling dervish that demands satisfaction.

Amanda grinned against his neck. "I don't think the horses'd mind that much, an' it's not like anyone else comes this way..." she began, but that train of thought was derailed by her knees buckling slightly. and she tightened her grip on his waist. "Fuck. Looks like the spirit's willin' but the flesh is about t' fall over."

Manuel scooped up Amanda into his arms, nearly buckling with the strain, then put her back on her feet. "Fuck. I can't carry you. May I escort you to your chamber, senorita?"

"You may, kind sir." She shook her head, laughing a little. "We're quite the pair, ain't we? God help this place once we're both up t' full strength at the same time."

Manuel couldn't seem to wipe the sloppy grin off his face - not that he was trying very hard. "I'm not sure America's ready for Anarchy Grrl and the Spanish Avenger at full-strength." he laughed, sneaking a nibble on Amanda's earlobe.

"'M positive it ain't." Amanda closed her eyes, making a small noise of pleasure at the touch on her ear, and then regretfully pushed herself out of reach of his mouth, although not his arms. "An' we should go, or I'll end up spendin' the night out here, an' not in the fun way."

Manuel sighed a theatrical sigh, and aided Amanda back up to her room. "Get well. Soon. I have Plans for you. You'll like them. I guarantee it." he said.