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xp_logs Jubilee goes looking for Kevin, and some answers.
It was freezing out but Jubilee had wrapped herself up warm and now stood outside the Deli she knew Kevin liked to frequent for sandwiches. She hadn’t had much time after everything went down to really talk to the people who weren’t from her original dimension.
Considering she knew Kevin biblically if not well socially, it had seemed like something she should probably at least attempt to talk to him about.
Not that she thought she had much to say beyond ‘So, how’s it feel to be created from some weird universal stew that we all knew about but couldn’t tell you about if we didn’t want everything to blow up, or possibly implode’
Kevin has spotted her minutes before, but he hated to break up an introspective moment on the street. Instead, he finished the last of his liverwurst and dropped a five down beside his plate for Ingrid, who'd been working in the place since around the time he'd first moved to New York sixty years ago. He shrugged into his jacket, collected a black and white, and stepped out into the street.
"Lee." He wordlessly passed over the cookie to her.
“Kev.”
Jubilee took the cookie without comment and bit into the sweet butteriness. It was easy enough to fall into step with her taller compatriot but she still wasn’t any closer to figuring out how to bridge the subject of everything that had happened.
So, instead, she existed beside him for a moment, content to let the thoughts build till they made more sense. Remy might have actually been impressed at her restraint.
Kevin wasn't pausing in the cool air. He was a veteran of decades of cold Manhattan winters and typically made a beeline for a bar about sixteen blocks away. When he walked in, the coat girl ran forward to grab his jacket and included Jubilee in the extra service. By the time he reached his table, a triple Canadian Club on the rocks was waiting for him.
"Alright Lee, out with it."
“That’s just it. I don’t fucking know where to start.”
Jubilee picked up a spare coaster and started to twirl it with her hands, attempting to flip it through her fingers before she looked back up.
“You got any questions?”
"Not really. Emma gave me a solid overview of the history. Or, at least, the other universe history. Lee, you look rattled. What is it that you're expecting here?"
“Anger, probably. The fact you haven’t poisoned my alcohol is weirding me the fuck out.”
Jubilee turned her gaze to the room, noting the exits and the people near them before focusing back on Kevin.
“We basically lied to you the moment you walked in the fucking door. Like, literally. How the fuck are you so calm?”
"50 years with the CIA and you think lying would piss me off? Shit Lee, I thought your Remy hired you because you were smart." Kevin drained his glass and waved for a refill of the table, including the drink she hadn't touched. "I'm not saying being part of a dimension gumbo is easy for me, but I'm going to think about it before I get angry."
“Not smart enough, or they’d still be alive.”
She ripped the coaster in two and then proceeded to tear it into smaller chunks, not sure what she expected from Kevin or herself. She placed the drift of cardboard to one side after she finished.
“You realize we never talk about anything but work? I mean, like, it was easier cause I hate getting close to people but that other place... I’m not sure I want so much distance anymore. And like, this isn’t a proposition dude, don’t have a heart attack but, I know next to nothing about you. I’d like to know more.”
"And do you think I want that?" Kevin said mildly. "I'm learning how this shop works for real now. I get your background. Why do you think I want to share more?"
That hit harder than she thought it would, and honestly, why wouldn’t it? Her history. Her struggle. When had she ever thought herself worthy of anyone for more than a second, or even less than that?
“50 years in the CIA, you didn’t just exist through all that time without connecting with anyone. It’s a fucking cold world, Kevin, and it doesn’t get less empty the longer you’re in it. Too many damn people never saw anything worth fucking knowing in me for too fucking long. I’m not here to convince you my friendship is worth a damn if you don’t want it. I’m worth more than that, to myself at least.”
"Good lord, Lee, this is why I don't want to share. Do you need my history for us to be friends? Do I need to explain my divorce before the next time I've got your ankles over your head?" Kevin gave her a look."I'll answer any questions you want, but if you ask me if I need to share, the answer is no. I don't need all the details of your story to be your friend. I don't even need you to be honest to me to be your friend."
Jubilee reached out and stole a sip of his drink before putting it back down.
“I don’t need a life story, dude. But like, a hug now and then wouldn’t go amiss.”
She grinned at the end, relaxing slightly into her chair.
"Kid, I barely hugged my own wife. You're fighting against 90 years of social conditioning here. Also, your own damn drink is on the way." He groused, shooing her away from his glass. "I'm not from a share your feelings generation. I'm from the 'your dad beat the shit out of you, smash it down and mow the lawn' generation."
“So what I hear you saying is I should put you to work mowing the mansion lawns. Pretty sure we’ll all turn out to watch you work.”
"If I needed physical labor to get attention, I'd kill myself." He said. "Look, what happened in that... other place was a funhouse mirror of us. Don't stress too much trying to fix your wrongs from there."
“It was a head-trip and a half, even without like, the emotional connection.”
Jubilee smiled as her drink was dropped off and she took a long sip with a happy sigh.
“But at least now you know why there were so few of us, to begin with.”
"Some things make a lot more sense, sure. It's still a little surprising... and takes a bit of getting used to, but we'll get there." Kevin leaned back in his chair, letting out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding.
“So, like, you know I’m basically a beginning to intermediate operative trying to do the work of an expert and I’m going fucking mad doing it, yeah?”
Jubilee took a drink and folded her legs under her. The best thing about being so tiny, any chair was able to accommodate her need to be comfy. Well, as long as she wasn’t in a dress anyway.
“It’s kinda nice I can finally be honest with the ‘Jesus Christ, help me’ without breaking the universe.”
"I hate to break it to you but you're certainly an intermediate operative and you're doing exactly the work that you should be doing. The problem right now is that this shop needs you to take the next step. Being a runner and contact is important, but what we need are case officers, and that's the next step you need to take."
“How do I do that?” Jubilee asked, her expression and her body language open enough. “I’m assuming by not dragging my ass all over the world fighting spot fires.”
"Oh, you'll need to do that. We don't have enough people for you not to be dogging it around our networks. But it's going to now start to involve more study, some lessons, and taking responsibility for handling, not just the intel that comes back, but directing those resources as well." He waved for yet another, the barely melted ice clinking as he put his empty glass back on the table. "I'll sit down with MA and go over your current assignments. See what makes sense to start your learning curve on."
“Thanks,” Jubilee said, meaning it.
She took another sip of her drink and sat back, giving him a serious look over.
“You know, this actually feels like a good start, and I like, haven’t had one of those in forever.”
It was freezing out but Jubilee had wrapped herself up warm and now stood outside the Deli she knew Kevin liked to frequent for sandwiches. She hadn’t had much time after everything went down to really talk to the people who weren’t from her original dimension.
Considering she knew Kevin biblically if not well socially, it had seemed like something she should probably at least attempt to talk to him about.
Not that she thought she had much to say beyond ‘So, how’s it feel to be created from some weird universal stew that we all knew about but couldn’t tell you about if we didn’t want everything to blow up, or possibly implode’
Kevin has spotted her minutes before, but he hated to break up an introspective moment on the street. Instead, he finished the last of his liverwurst and dropped a five down beside his plate for Ingrid, who'd been working in the place since around the time he'd first moved to New York sixty years ago. He shrugged into his jacket, collected a black and white, and stepped out into the street.
"Lee." He wordlessly passed over the cookie to her.
“Kev.”
Jubilee took the cookie without comment and bit into the sweet butteriness. It was easy enough to fall into step with her taller compatriot but she still wasn’t any closer to figuring out how to bridge the subject of everything that had happened.
So, instead, she existed beside him for a moment, content to let the thoughts build till they made more sense. Remy might have actually been impressed at her restraint.
Kevin wasn't pausing in the cool air. He was a veteran of decades of cold Manhattan winters and typically made a beeline for a bar about sixteen blocks away. When he walked in, the coat girl ran forward to grab his jacket and included Jubilee in the extra service. By the time he reached his table, a triple Canadian Club on the rocks was waiting for him.
"Alright Lee, out with it."
“That’s just it. I don’t fucking know where to start.”
Jubilee picked up a spare coaster and started to twirl it with her hands, attempting to flip it through her fingers before she looked back up.
“You got any questions?”
"Not really. Emma gave me a solid overview of the history. Or, at least, the other universe history. Lee, you look rattled. What is it that you're expecting here?"
“Anger, probably. The fact you haven’t poisoned my alcohol is weirding me the fuck out.”
Jubilee turned her gaze to the room, noting the exits and the people near them before focusing back on Kevin.
“We basically lied to you the moment you walked in the fucking door. Like, literally. How the fuck are you so calm?”
"50 years with the CIA and you think lying would piss me off? Shit Lee, I thought your Remy hired you because you were smart." Kevin drained his glass and waved for a refill of the table, including the drink she hadn't touched. "I'm not saying being part of a dimension gumbo is easy for me, but I'm going to think about it before I get angry."
“Not smart enough, or they’d still be alive.”
She ripped the coaster in two and then proceeded to tear it into smaller chunks, not sure what she expected from Kevin or herself. She placed the drift of cardboard to one side after she finished.
“You realize we never talk about anything but work? I mean, like, it was easier cause I hate getting close to people but that other place... I’m not sure I want so much distance anymore. And like, this isn’t a proposition dude, don’t have a heart attack but, I know next to nothing about you. I’d like to know more.”
"And do you think I want that?" Kevin said mildly. "I'm learning how this shop works for real now. I get your background. Why do you think I want to share more?"
That hit harder than she thought it would, and honestly, why wouldn’t it? Her history. Her struggle. When had she ever thought herself worthy of anyone for more than a second, or even less than that?
“50 years in the CIA, you didn’t just exist through all that time without connecting with anyone. It’s a fucking cold world, Kevin, and it doesn’t get less empty the longer you’re in it. Too many damn people never saw anything worth fucking knowing in me for too fucking long. I’m not here to convince you my friendship is worth a damn if you don’t want it. I’m worth more than that, to myself at least.”
"Good lord, Lee, this is why I don't want to share. Do you need my history for us to be friends? Do I need to explain my divorce before the next time I've got your ankles over your head?" Kevin gave her a look."I'll answer any questions you want, but if you ask me if I need to share, the answer is no. I don't need all the details of your story to be your friend. I don't even need you to be honest to me to be your friend."
Jubilee reached out and stole a sip of his drink before putting it back down.
“I don’t need a life story, dude. But like, a hug now and then wouldn’t go amiss.”
She grinned at the end, relaxing slightly into her chair.
"Kid, I barely hugged my own wife. You're fighting against 90 years of social conditioning here. Also, your own damn drink is on the way." He groused, shooing her away from his glass. "I'm not from a share your feelings generation. I'm from the 'your dad beat the shit out of you, smash it down and mow the lawn' generation."
“So what I hear you saying is I should put you to work mowing the mansion lawns. Pretty sure we’ll all turn out to watch you work.”
"If I needed physical labor to get attention, I'd kill myself." He said. "Look, what happened in that... other place was a funhouse mirror of us. Don't stress too much trying to fix your wrongs from there."
“It was a head-trip and a half, even without like, the emotional connection.”
Jubilee smiled as her drink was dropped off and she took a long sip with a happy sigh.
“But at least now you know why there were so few of us, to begin with.”
"Some things make a lot more sense, sure. It's still a little surprising... and takes a bit of getting used to, but we'll get there." Kevin leaned back in his chair, letting out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding.
“So, like, you know I’m basically a beginning to intermediate operative trying to do the work of an expert and I’m going fucking mad doing it, yeah?”
Jubilee took a drink and folded her legs under her. The best thing about being so tiny, any chair was able to accommodate her need to be comfy. Well, as long as she wasn’t in a dress anyway.
“It’s kinda nice I can finally be honest with the ‘Jesus Christ, help me’ without breaking the universe.”
"I hate to break it to you but you're certainly an intermediate operative and you're doing exactly the work that you should be doing. The problem right now is that this shop needs you to take the next step. Being a runner and contact is important, but what we need are case officers, and that's the next step you need to take."
“How do I do that?” Jubilee asked, her expression and her body language open enough. “I’m assuming by not dragging my ass all over the world fighting spot fires.”
"Oh, you'll need to do that. We don't have enough people for you not to be dogging it around our networks. But it's going to now start to involve more study, some lessons, and taking responsibility for handling, not just the intel that comes back, but directing those resources as well." He waved for yet another, the barely melted ice clinking as he put his empty glass back on the table. "I'll sit down with MA and go over your current assignments. See what makes sense to start your learning curve on."
“Thanks,” Jubilee said, meaning it.
She took another sip of her drink and sat back, giving him a serious look over.
“You know, this actually feels like a good start, and I like, haven’t had one of those in forever.”
