xp_logs | A moment of remembrance

xp_trance posting in

Amanda and Hope encounter each other when they wish to remember the friends they lost from their earlier world.

Carefully putting the small vase down, Hope took a moment to make sure that the flowers were arranged as she wanted them to be. The small flame that never went out shimmered on the petals of the white lilies and forget me nots, but only accentuated the shadows of the deep purple hyacinths.

Taking a small step back she gazed at the flowers and the flames for a moment, then made to gather the tote and purse she had put just around the corner.

It was at that moment that Amanda approached, carrying her own bunch of flowers, which seemed like a random mish-mash of herbs and other foliage. She paused at the sight of Hope and then continued, giving her a small smile and a nod. "Hey."

"Hello Amanda." She returned the nod, smiling a little as well. "Please, do not let me disturb you. I was just about to leave." She reached out to push one of the forget-me-nots that had suddenly drooped over the side of the vase back to its place and stepped back so Amanda could place her flowers.

"You're not bother," was the witch's reply. "It's nice, actually, having someone else doing this. It's why I set things up, even when we couldn't really talk about it." Amanda took her place in front of the small shrine, laying sprigs of rosemary around the stone and then setting the rest in a plain jar-like vase she'd brought the first time she'd left her tribute and used every year since. "And at least this year we can talk about it, instead of worrying about breaking the world and all."

"I try to when I have the chance." Hope simply explained, but she had to shrug a little at the second remark. "After six years... I do not find it makes much of a difference to be able to speak of it, if I am honest."

Amanda cocked an eyebrow at Hope's words. "Because you don't want to talk about it, or because you don't need to?" she asked, perhaps a lot more bluntly than she might have with most others. But Hope reminded her at times of Crystal, bound up by etiquette and rules, which tended to bring out her old desire to poke at the shell to see how thin it was.

"When the time and place is there and with those who loved them, I will." Hope replied, her voice low and even. "But after six years I find that speaking about it in a larger circle does not really work for me as well as it not being fair to burden others with stories of people they might still meet in a totally different form. Better to keep moving forward."

Amanda grinned a little. "Fair enough. Glad to see Angie's taught you not to be a pushover. Sorry, sometimes I'm too pushy for my own good." She looked back to the flowers they'd both left. "I guess I hadn't thought of it that way, making things a burden. I was just... relieved, I guess, that we didn't have to keep it under wraps any more. And glad that they wouldn't be forgotten." Her voice dropped a little on this last.

"The only true benefit that I see is that we do not have to be afraid anymore that we will destroy the world because one of us accidentally slipped up..." A bitter note crept in Hope's voice as she continued: "But even that is of limited value. The fact that we are still standing here proves that people managed to train themselves quite effectively not to let that happen."

"Well, the stakes were pretty high. No-one wanted to waste the chance we got, or the cost it had."

"I am well aware of that. And if I was a somewhat different person I might choose to say that still the price we paid and the one we are still paying is too easily forgotten or at least too easily papered over. That some might wonder if the price is worth paying." Hope replied, the bitterness in her voice slowly becoming more pronounced. "I guess we are luckily none of us felt that way though."

Amanda raised her eyebrows. "Are you sure about that?" she asked quietly. "You're sounding fairly angry for someone who accepts things."

"Accepting 'things' does not mean..." Hope's shoulders straightened and her face shifted in the polite, neutral expression as she drew her countenance around her like armor. ".. that I have to like them or that I cannot question them. It's simply working with 'things' as they are."

"I s'pose." Amanda shrugged a little. "And when it gets too hard to work with things, it's good to have an outlet. Some way to let some of that go, before it explodes." Her tone was more hypothetical now. "Someone to rant with, something to beat up, even a place to go get absolutely smashed drunk. At least there's enough of us left to find someone to do that with."

A thought flitted through Hope's mind and the vaguest glimmer of a smile played around her lips. "I guess my occasional girls nights with Tandy, Topaz and Molly are a fortunate fact then."