xp_logs | Laurie, Doug, & Darcy

xp_darcy posting in

Laurie and Doug clear the air. Darcy mediates. It's awkward, but not a disaster.

It hadn't been very difficult to get Laurie to agree to this meeting, once she'd dropped some fairly blunt but truthful logic about how awful she'd feel and act in the same situation. Once she was on board, it was just a matter of informing Doug and finding a time all of them were free. She'd offered up her room as neutral ground, mostly because she had blankets and pillows to offer for wrapping up or screaming into, if necessary.

A knock sounded, and Darcy pulled the door open, wrapping Doug into a hug as he walked in. "Grab a water and one of the chairs in the living room," she said gently as she let him go.

Doug nodded and got the water before going to take a seat. Not that he was making a point of being silent, but this was definitely a difficult situation that he wasn't sure what to say about. He was very aware of the way his shoulders hunched forward and the tension in his chest.

Laurie was coming down the hall, so Darcy stayed in the doorway, wrapping her in a hug as well. "Grab a water and a chair, I'll be right behind you." She grabbed the remaining bottle off the counter and headed to the couch to sprawl out.

"I'm mostly here to keep this civil, and maybe ask pointed questions if either of you need the assist. Laurie?"

Laurie stayed in Darcy's embrace for several moments, almost as if she was bracing herself for what could be considered a difficult conversation to come. Leaning back, she smiled at her friend, cupping her cheek in an affectionate gesture before she walked past her into the room. She nodded at Doug as she found a chair and picked up the water Darcy had provided to take a sip.

"Should I start? I'm willing to if it would make it easier."

Darcy turned to look at Doug. "Anything specific you want to ask first?"

Doug did his best to give Darcy's question the consideration it deserved and not just a glib response, but... "I honestly can't think of anything," he admitted.

Darcy gave Doug a concerned look and tossed him a pillow. "Go ahead, Laurie."

“I stand by my choice.”

Laurie’s demeanor was calm, serene almost in a way she’d never been. It wasn’t the calm of a still lake, more the calm of the sea after a violent storm. Still choppy but tending toward peace.

“I hurt you though, in the way I went about making the choice. I know you probably still don’t understand why I made it, and I have never given you the opportunity to truly speak to me about it either.”

Doug nodded. "Honestly, that helps," he told Laurie. Just the fact that she was admitting she might have done something in a less-than-ideal way, even if it was in her somewhat stilted clinical fashion, was a lot like growth. "I don't hate you, I hope you know that," he continued. He knew that was the source of some of her concerns at times. "I mean, I still care, even if you've moved on."

"I loved you." Laurie's voice cracked for a moment beyond the tranquility she struggled to always portray, and she sucked in a breath as if to calm herself before continuing. "Any strong emotion, at least at the time, I thought it wasn't good for me. At that time I thought it was more dangerous to stay than to go. I wanted you to hate me because you wouldn't try to make me stay if you did. I was a coward, and I'm sorry."

Darcy had covered her face with her hands when Laurie started talking, and they'd migrated down to cover her mouth as she reacted to the other woman's words. "No, don't mind me, you're both calm enough right now."

On the one hand, closure. On the other hand, hearing Laurie talk about it in the past tense tugged hard at the part in Doug that still cared for her. Her articulating of her reasoning was...not a surprise, honestly. He'd always known that about her, but when she said it, it somehow made it more real. He gazed out the window, once again something at a loss for words. "Thank you for...being willing to apologize," he said finally.

“It’s not enough to say it,” Laurie said, looking like she wanted to reach out suddenly but resisting. “I know I need to change. I’ve apologized to people so many times and gone back to the same things. I know there are better ways to manage my powers, ways that I don’t have to be afraid of emotion.”

"It's okay to ask for a hug, Lo," Darcy said gently. "Worst case I'll be the one giving it, and that's not such a hardship, is it?" Her eyes moved to catch Doug's. "You too, Doug. Everyone in this room is allowed unlimited hugs from me."

Laurie seemed lost for words for a time, as if not entirely sure how to respond. Her gaze briefly met Doug’s before her shoulders relaxed and tension she hadn’t been aware of released from her muscles.

“I would like one, yes.”

She had to start somewhere. Perhaps allowing people to be closer to her was a start? Just because she had secrets to keep didn’t mean she couldn’t build a future. Once Essex fixed her little problem, she’d explain.

Maybe they would understand?

"From me, or Doug? Or both?" Darcy was already up and moving to Laurie's chair, motioning her up and wrapping her in a tight hug. "Just ask him, if that's what you want. Worst he'll do is say no or he's not comfortable," she murmured into the blonde's ear.

"Would that be welcome?" Laurie looked up from the hug Darcy had enveloped her with, her body language almost immediately giving off signs of nervousness. "I know words aren't enough to make up for everything but if you'll let me, I'd like to try being friends again?"

"I'd like that too," Doug admitted, standing and cautiously moving over to join the pair.

Laurie smiled gratefully and welcomed him in.