xp_logs | Darcy & Kevin | Into the Night

xp_darcy posting in

Darcy's talks herself out of medical and directly into leaving the mansion.

Content Warning: Mention of powers abuse and emotional manipulation, panic attack.

Darcy had somehow managed to stave off her panic attack after learning Laurie had been "rescued" and they were both "safe" in the mansion, a thin partition separating their beds from one another. Safe. She wouldn't feel safe again until she knew Laurie wasn't a threat anymore, and had convinced Amelia that there wasn't much that could be done for her in medical that couldn't be done with her sleeping in her own bed and coming down for checkups once or twice a day.

Not that she had any intention of being here for the checkup she'd carefully not promised to show up for.

The voice in the back of her head was screaming that she needed to get out, get someplace safe, get away from people who could poke around in her mind. Her first stop was her bedroom, grabbing an empty notebook—She wished she could remember where her planner and the one she'd been using had ended up, but couldn't remember the last time she'd seen them—and set them next to a duffel that she filled with a few weeks of basic clothing and her favorite pillow. She scribbled a few numbers down from her phone into an empty page, then put it on silent and left it face down on her desk. She grabbed toiletries and tossed them in too, pausing as she saw one of Doug's shirts at the foot of her bed before stuffing it into the bag as well.

The presents she'd planned on gifting people were on the table. Christmas wasn't really her holiday, but it was so common that she picked up gifts for her favorite people these days, because most of them did celebrate it. Laurie's weren't wrapped yet, and Darcy bit back a sob at the travel vouchers and wonderfully soft short-sleeved sweater. She shoved them on the floor angrily, pulling out several sheets of paper and writing notes to go with the gifts. Laurie's went in an envelope, alone, and hopefully she'd be able to get someone to deliver all of them for her.

Several minutes later she had her bag in hand, knuckles rapping sharply on Kevin's door as she tried to hold the panic at bay for just a few more minutes.

It was late enough that he was back from the office and for once hadn't gone out. He sipped from his glass as he opened the door. Kevin didn't get a lot of visitors. His famous way with people meant he was usually not at home or it was someone like Jean visiting to drag him out. Seeing Darcy, he frowned and paused.

"Aren't you supposed to be resting?" He said, taking in the duffel in an instant.

"I need to go." Darcy's tone was abrupt, body hunched as she stared up at him with wild eyes. "It's not safe, I need to leave now. Can–please–I have to get away from her. It's not–I need to go, help me please."

"OK, slow down. Come in here." He ushered her into the room and pressed his glass into her hands. "Take a sip and a deep breath and tell me what is going on?"

Darcy shook her head slowly, wincing as a sharp lance of pain shot through it at the motion. "No nonononono I can't I've gotta leave she's back and it hurts please don't let her hurt me anymore I can't–" Her voice got sharper, more shrill until she abruptly cut off, gasping for air and clutching the glass to her chest almost painfully. "Please. I can't be here while she's here. It's not safe."

"Stop. Nothing is going to hurt you while I'm here." He said, holding her by the shoulders and making eye contact. "Let me call Doc Grey and Ramsey. We can get them here, make sure that everything is al-"

"NO–" She squirmed in Kevin's hold at the thought, remnants of his drink splashing across the floor as she dropped the glass in her hands and covered her temples with a pained moan. "Nobody else in our heads, nono it's not safe gotta keep her out keep them away don't want her back in don't want her in our brains it's poison. Gotta leave before she's back in my brain, I can't–I won't let her." Darcy laughed, a sharp, hysteric edge he'd never heard before. "SHAN'T. Don't let her. Back. Nonono. Keep her out gotta keep her out." She tried to step back towards the door, shoulders still twisting beneath his hold. "Let me–please, if you can't help–I need to go. Please."

"Lewis!" He snapped, sharp and final, cutting through the hysteria. "You need to take a breath and calm down." He was strong enough to hold her in place as her rapid, panicked breathing slowed. "I can help you, but I need to be sure you're not going to hurt yourself and that you know what you're doing."

Darcy's eyes focused on him as she tried to calm her breathing. "L-Laurie, I can't, she's in my brain and it hurts, please Kevin, I have to leave." Her voice cracked, and she slumped in his hold. "Please get me out of here, I can't trust my own mind with her around."

"It's ok. I'll take care of it." He said, running his hand over the top of her head. "Sit down and have a drink. I need to make a couple of calls. I need you to get yourself together while I do this." He said, sitting her down on the edge of his bed. He passed over a stiff double of rye before stepping away and using his phone. He spoke in a low voice, stepping into the kitchenette.

She clutched the drink like a lifeline, taking a tentative sip and letting the low murmur of his voice wash over her. Her brain was still screaming that they had to leave, they weren't safe, but it wasn't quite as urgent now that she had help. Kevin would get her out. She'd tell him what had happened Monday–she wasn't sure what day it was, actually, but he'd tell her, and get her somewhere safe, and maybe she'd be able to piece together the parts that were still fuzzy and cracked or worryingly blank. Put her mind back together.

Maybe once she had a handle on what was hers the idea of someone else—even someone Kevin trusted—taking a walk through her mind wouldn't make her feel turned inside out.

Kevin walked back in but paused, reaching into a side drawer and pulling out a manila envelope. "There will be a car out front in ten minutes. It will take you to a friend of mine in the city who has a safe place. Once you're there, you can decide your next moves. There's five grand in cash, a clean phone, and a clean credit card in the envelope. Are you sure I shouldn't tell someone where you are? Doug? Terry? They'll ask."

"She said.. said she was in Doug's head too, I can't trust it. Not his mind, not my own. I left letters with their gifts, if you wouldn't mind making sure they get to the right people by Saturday? And a letter for her, not that she deserves anything of the sort." Darcy's voice was quiet, but the bitter edge to her tone was easy to pick out. "Thank you. For helping me. Even though I welcomed the monster into my bed. Is your number in the phone?"

"Stop." Kevin said. "The day I hired you, you became my responsibility. I don't care what you did or didn't do right now. We'll get you safe and sort it out." The alarm bells in her head were loud. What the hell was going on with Collins? "You know my number. I'll be in touch. You... you get your head together and don't worry about anyone else. Do you hear me?"

"Yes, Boss." It was reflexive, when Kevin took that particular tone with her. She stood on slightly shaky legs, gently placing the glass on a side table before wrapping him in a brief hug. "I'll tell you everything I can remember, it's just.. not much. And not tonight, since the car is on the way." She tucked the envelope into the side of her bag, safely out of sight. "Walk me down?"

"I'm not happy about this." Kevin said, taking her to the mansion front. "We are going to have a long talk soon. But you... scream into the void for a few days, kid. I'll be there when you are done."

"I thought she loved me, and I found out she'd been fucking my head around for months. I hate this." Darcy tugged one of the keys off her keyring and pressed it into his hand. "I know you can bypass my suite's lock, and I usually don't lock my bedroom since it's just me, but just in case. Give me.. I don't know, a week for that talk? We'll see what I've managed to scrape together." The car pulled up, and she gave his hand a brief squeeze before stepping up to the car and letting the driver help her into the backseat. "Thanks again. I'll let you know once I'm at my destination," she added as the door closed behind her.

As they pulled away, she let her head fall against the backrest, exhaustion flooding her body. She was leaving. She was going to be safe. Kevin was taking care of her. She pressed her hands into her eyes, then turned to watch as the lights of town started turning into the lights of the city.