Amanda and Jubilee log.

[x-jubilee.livejournal.com]

Summary: Jubilee and Amanda snark and Jubilee finally breaks.



Jubilee was sitting on the flight ramp, one of the few places in the school that was somewhat deserted at this time of day. She had dangled her feet over the edge and had her head tilted upwards as she soaked in the sunlight, her eyes closed.

Classes had finished for the day and she'd decided to avoid the afternoon rush of bodies inhabiting the student lounge. She knew she was probably being pathetic but she was having a really hard time acting normally when tomorrow she'd be getting her memories back and having to deal with the final blocks.
She knew whatever was waiting for her behind those blocks wouldn't be pretty; she just didn't want to take that stress out on anyone else.

Unfortunately 'somewhat deserted' wasn't 'completely deserted' - with the improving weather, Amanda had been making a habit of having an afternoon's smoke on the platform, especially after stressful days like this one had been. Still, tomorrow was Friday and the day after that was Saturday and the Boston trip, and some time away from the twanging nerves that constituted any school at exam time. So when she spotted the interloper in her favourite spot to sit, her mood soured spectacularly.

"Gunna do us all a favour an' toss yerself off?" she asked, somewhat more nastily than the situation warranted, but fuckit, Lee was the last person in the world she wanted to be dealing with, after Spanish-speaking mutant boys with overblown senses of honour and injured pride.

To say Jubilee was somewhat startled by the harsh words in the middle of the good brooding session she had gotten going was an understatement. She made a slight squeak of surprise and managed to scrape the skin off her legs as she twisted into a ready stance. Seeing that it was Amanda, her stance didn't relax, although she did grimace at the pain of the scrapes. "Dude..." Jubilee paused for a second, sighing. "Just go away, okay? I was here first, I'm sure there's a great deal of people you could bond with downstairs somewhere."

"The whole point of bein' up here is 'cause I ain't in the bondin' mood. Ain't supposed t' be anyone up here, is there?" Amanda crossed her arms over her chest and glared at the shorter girl. "Since when has this been yer private mopin' place?"

Jubilee relaxed, slumping down to the ground again as she surveyed her lower legs, spots of blood where the skin had been scraped off against the wall showed as small bright red lines. "It isn't, just didn't think anyone would be up here today. And the place was deserted, till you showed up, so how about you just go find your own spot, hey? Possession being nine tenths of the law and all that jazz."

Well, I got me fag already lit..." and here Amanda gestured with her left hand, the evidence clutched between her fingers. "...an' I can't exactly walk through the halls with it, can I? So yer just gunna have t' put up with me presence for a bit."

Jubilee rolled her eyes. "Fine. Why the hell are you trying to get away from people anyhow? Not like you ain't got people falling all over themselves to make sure you're fine."

Jubilee glared out at the empty sky, wishing she had a more useful power, like wings so she could get as far from here as possible. It wasn't that she was jealous of Amanda and she knew people cared about her, hadn't they been looking for her after the soldiers attacked? Just, it always seemed like she was being pushed to get better as quickly as possible.

"Jealous, are we? Well, if you didn't spend all yer time bein' such a self-obsessed pain in the arse an' paid attention t' someone else for a change, then maybe you wouldn't be sittin' up here on yer own." Amanda took a deliberately slow drag on her cigarette. If Lee was determined to make life annoying, then she might as well get some fun out of it. And there was nothing like sharing the pain. " 'Sides, sometimes I like t' come up here an' clear me head, without someone yammerin' at me."

"Not jealous. Just stating fact, less you have something against people here giving a damn about you. Nice to know you consider conversations with them "yammering", would probably make em' feel all warm and happy inside."

"That ain't what I meant an' you know it, Lee. An' I ain't got a problem with people carin', just sometimes it's good t' have some time t' yerself. Alone. Place like this, all those people... gets a bit much." Amanda gave Jubilee and almost pitying look. "Fuck, yer so caught up in yer own little drama you wouldn't have a clue. 'S all about you, about what's goin' on in yer head. Bet you ain't even noticed Illyana's back in yer room."

Jubilee's head whipped around, her gaze icy, "I know Yana is back, talked to her on the journals didn't I?" She curled in on herself, suddenly so tired she might have fallen over right then if she hadn't been determined not to show any weakness in front of Amanda. It wasn't that she wasn't noticing things or people, it just got so hard to concentrate on more then the sessions with Samson sometimes, all the thoughts and emotions swirling around her, it got so confusing that it had just felt easier to leave people alone then to try and make them understand what she was going through, if they would have even cared. Jubilee shook her head, laughing at herself. 'God, you really are pathetic, aren't you? Self pity? So unbecoming, besides, you know better then that.'She thought.

Amanda was about to retort, but paused. Curiosity, morbid or otherwise, boredom, the frustration of not having been able to use magic at all for so long... She focussed her power, and looked at the other girl, her energies, and her emotions. "Wow, you are seven kinds of fucked up, ain't you?" she said after a moment.

Jubilee eyes widened as she looked at Amanda. "I..." It was too much, having this person of all people, be the only person who finally noticed just how close Jubilee was to losing it completely, out of everyone, the one person who should have the least insight into her state of mind. It started softly, a thin, almost non existent drop of water falling onto the top of her hand and then she was crying without knowing why, hating herself for breaking down but not able to pull it together anymore, no person can hold in a lifetime of pain, and Jubilee was only 18, hardly enough time to get any kind of strength for this kind of fight, her shattered and torn psyche broke, leaving her sobbing, her frame shaking with the storm.

Amanda could have said any number of hurtful, hateful things. She could have just gone, and left Jubilee to her crying fit. She could have laughed. But she remembered an evening of drinking and Jubilee not ratting on her or leaving her to her self-destructive path. So she sat down on the edge of the platform and smoked her cigarette, waiting for the storm to abate.