Gabriel and Garrison
Feb. 15th, 2022 09:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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xp_logsGabriel and Garrison catch up at Harry's.
As much as he loved an old school bar, Gabriel didn't spend all that much time at Harry's. It wasn't out of disdain for the place. He appreciated the way Harry was a stolid bartender who largely kept to himself, and he admired the man's resistance to catering to the waves of yuppies that had come and gone with the years.
But if Gabriel was drinking, he generally did it in the city. And when he was out by the mansion, he never felt comfortable dipping into Harry's for a discreet drink. The odds were too high that he would run into another one of his fellow Xavier's residents. And sometimes — often — he just wasn't in the mood.
But tonight, he was feeling some combination of restless and exhausted, and so he found himself drawn to Harry's, partly because it was a short trip, and in part because he knew he would find Garrison there, and the other man had offered to buy him a round.
And so he walked in, shucking off his scarf in an instant and beelining to the bar. He nodded to Harry and ordered a beer, then scanned the room for the Canuck he was looking for.
As a direct result of Kane's patronage, at least one of the televisions was always tuned to any Toronto team that happened to be playing. Occasionally a group would complain, and they'd be quietly informed they could take it up with the Canadian in the corner who happens to be a cop. It tended to end the argument right there. He was at a table tonight, idly watching the Raptors basketball game. He'd just taking a sip from his pint when he caught sight of Gabe and waved him over.
Gabriel nodded back. Once he'd had his beer in hand, he made his way toward Kane. He sat with little fanfare or a hello, simply watching the game. At a commercial break, he picked up his beer and raised it to the other man. "Cheers."
"Cheers. It seems like we should have some kind of somber meaningful toast or something." He said wryly, opting instead to take a drink, eyes tracking a VanVleet three pointer for a moment. "How was Brazil?"
"Warm," Gabriel replied after a sip. "And busy. Plus I'm dark enough that everyone tried to speak Portuguese to me, which was confusing." He shrugged. "But nice to be away. Another stamp on the passport." The broadcast replayed a charge; Gabriel couldn't remember the last time he'd sat and watched a basketball game.
"Never been. South America as a whole has been a miss on my travels." He nodded. "And, I'm sure this comes as a shock, but not a lot of appetite for travel at the moment."
"Guess that makes sense." And it did, but only if Gabriel thought about it for a second. He figured Kane had been away for so long; of course he wanted to stay put. "How are you... you know..." he trailed off as he searched for a word that might adequately describe what he was trying to ask. "Adjusting, I guess."
"That's a hard question to answer. I mean, I'm pretty fucked up and fucked off in any number of ways. On the other hand, I don't have to fear for my life every minute of the day or look forward to whatever new abuse has been cooked up for me." He shrugged. "So... yeah. I go from fine to... well, not at all fine at the drop of a hat."
Gabriel was quiet. He wanted to welcome Garrison to the club; those emotional shifts — emotional seizures, really — had dominated his life for years before the mansion, then for a time after M Day, and then intermittently in the last few months. "I'm sorry," he said, because he wasn't sure what else to say. "I can't — well, I mean, I can imagine better than some people, but I can't, not really."
"I appreciate the sentiment. I honestly do. It's just hard to- you know what made it possible for me to go through this? Because I went through worse once. Thor actually killed me - Valkyries and everything." He laughed bitterly. "And I'm still here. Not just alive but here. I'm not sure if that's the real twisted part or not."
Gabriel considered that. "Sometimes," he ventured carefully, trying his best to sound almost detached and analytical, "it feels like a cruel joke that we survived." He wasn't even sure which near-death experience he was talking about, but he knew death would have been preferable to being stuck with that demon the way Kane was.
"That's the wrong conclusion. I might be fucked up right now and yeah, I was ready to die in that situation. But-" Kane sighed, paused and drained off the rest of his pint, a replacement already on the way. "- I don't know. Fuckers like Olivier live for taking away someone's will to go on. That's the real power they crave. And that's how we beat them. By having something to live for - to endure whatever shit that gets tossed at us. My 'live for' reasons might be a bit shaky right now, but they'll get me through it. I gotta believe you have the same, man."
"I didn't say I believed it," Gabriel pointed out. "Just feels that way sometimes." He shrugged. He wasn't entirely sure he believed in Garrison's view of the world. He wasn't motivated by the power of resilience these days. "I'm still here, aren't I? Haven't run off despite all the shit that keeps coming."
He should have asked for whiskey. He wanted a whiskey. Instead, he took a healthy swig from the beer. "I'm sorry about Adrienne, by the way," Gabriel said after he swallowed. "Always liked her."
"Yeah, me too." He said and swiftly changed the topic. For all his wounds, that was the rawest one. "You still being here says a lot, you know. I've never done the job, but between my old man and Wisdom, I've seen up close what it takes. You don't do it for just a paycheck. So I'm going to bet there's something meaningful that makes you clock in."
"Guess so," Gabriel said, his eyes on the TV. VanVleet stepped to the line for a free throw. The next beer arrived in front of Garrison as the ball bounced off the rim. "You ever really think about that? Those guys practice so much, train all the time, it's one of the shots they can practice over and over and over again. And they still only hit, what, like, 3 out of 4? Kind of a shame."
He shook his head and ran a finger around the rim of his glass, still focusing on the TV. "I don't have a higher calling or anything," he said. "But it turns out I'm not bad at this, and it's not a life I thought I'd ever have." Another shrug. "Maybe that's enough, for now."
"I wasn't talking about some kind of grand mission. Just... a purpose, even if it is as simple as 'this needs to be done and I'm good at it'." Kane looked into his glass for a moment, eyes distant. "Or maybe it is just me. My oath is just some words, right? There's no magic to it and yet... you know, I didn't even think twice about staying behind so you guys could get clear. I mean, not for a second. It was the only right decision and I didn't hesitate. Not because I'm some hero or I have a death wish or anything like it. It's just what I believe in made it simple."
"So, it was a decision." Gabriel raised an eyebrow to that. "Not that I really doubted it. I just..." He wasn't sure how to explain his thinking. "Thank you for that," he said after a second. "I don't know if I've said that yet." He meant it too; he couldn't imagine what Olivier would have done to him. There was plenty to work with.
"You didn't need to but I appreciate it. To be honest, I like to think that if the roles were reversed, any of us would have made the same choice." He took a sip and shrugged. "Otherwise, why are we here? You could take your powers and skills to the private sector and make a shit ton more money for far less risk. And I could be... elsewhere." He paused at that, fighting back a pang of misery over Adrienne. "And yet, we stay. That higher calling might be sneaking up on you after all."
As much as he loved an old school bar, Gabriel didn't spend all that much time at Harry's. It wasn't out of disdain for the place. He appreciated the way Harry was a stolid bartender who largely kept to himself, and he admired the man's resistance to catering to the waves of yuppies that had come and gone with the years.
But if Gabriel was drinking, he generally did it in the city. And when he was out by the mansion, he never felt comfortable dipping into Harry's for a discreet drink. The odds were too high that he would run into another one of his fellow Xavier's residents. And sometimes — often — he just wasn't in the mood.
But tonight, he was feeling some combination of restless and exhausted, and so he found himself drawn to Harry's, partly because it was a short trip, and in part because he knew he would find Garrison there, and the other man had offered to buy him a round.
And so he walked in, shucking off his scarf in an instant and beelining to the bar. He nodded to Harry and ordered a beer, then scanned the room for the Canuck he was looking for.
As a direct result of Kane's patronage, at least one of the televisions was always tuned to any Toronto team that happened to be playing. Occasionally a group would complain, and they'd be quietly informed they could take it up with the Canadian in the corner who happens to be a cop. It tended to end the argument right there. He was at a table tonight, idly watching the Raptors basketball game. He'd just taking a sip from his pint when he caught sight of Gabe and waved him over.
Gabriel nodded back. Once he'd had his beer in hand, he made his way toward Kane. He sat with little fanfare or a hello, simply watching the game. At a commercial break, he picked up his beer and raised it to the other man. "Cheers."
"Cheers. It seems like we should have some kind of somber meaningful toast or something." He said wryly, opting instead to take a drink, eyes tracking a VanVleet three pointer for a moment. "How was Brazil?"
"Warm," Gabriel replied after a sip. "And busy. Plus I'm dark enough that everyone tried to speak Portuguese to me, which was confusing." He shrugged. "But nice to be away. Another stamp on the passport." The broadcast replayed a charge; Gabriel couldn't remember the last time he'd sat and watched a basketball game.
"Never been. South America as a whole has been a miss on my travels." He nodded. "And, I'm sure this comes as a shock, but not a lot of appetite for travel at the moment."
"Guess that makes sense." And it did, but only if Gabriel thought about it for a second. He figured Kane had been away for so long; of course he wanted to stay put. "How are you... you know..." he trailed off as he searched for a word that might adequately describe what he was trying to ask. "Adjusting, I guess."
"That's a hard question to answer. I mean, I'm pretty fucked up and fucked off in any number of ways. On the other hand, I don't have to fear for my life every minute of the day or look forward to whatever new abuse has been cooked up for me." He shrugged. "So... yeah. I go from fine to... well, not at all fine at the drop of a hat."
Gabriel was quiet. He wanted to welcome Garrison to the club; those emotional shifts — emotional seizures, really — had dominated his life for years before the mansion, then for a time after M Day, and then intermittently in the last few months. "I'm sorry," he said, because he wasn't sure what else to say. "I can't — well, I mean, I can imagine better than some people, but I can't, not really."
"I appreciate the sentiment. I honestly do. It's just hard to- you know what made it possible for me to go through this? Because I went through worse once. Thor actually killed me - Valkyries and everything." He laughed bitterly. "And I'm still here. Not just alive but here. I'm not sure if that's the real twisted part or not."
Gabriel considered that. "Sometimes," he ventured carefully, trying his best to sound almost detached and analytical, "it feels like a cruel joke that we survived." He wasn't even sure which near-death experience he was talking about, but he knew death would have been preferable to being stuck with that demon the way Kane was.
"That's the wrong conclusion. I might be fucked up right now and yeah, I was ready to die in that situation. But-" Kane sighed, paused and drained off the rest of his pint, a replacement already on the way. "- I don't know. Fuckers like Olivier live for taking away someone's will to go on. That's the real power they crave. And that's how we beat them. By having something to live for - to endure whatever shit that gets tossed at us. My 'live for' reasons might be a bit shaky right now, but they'll get me through it. I gotta believe you have the same, man."
"I didn't say I believed it," Gabriel pointed out. "Just feels that way sometimes." He shrugged. He wasn't entirely sure he believed in Garrison's view of the world. He wasn't motivated by the power of resilience these days. "I'm still here, aren't I? Haven't run off despite all the shit that keeps coming."
He should have asked for whiskey. He wanted a whiskey. Instead, he took a healthy swig from the beer. "I'm sorry about Adrienne, by the way," Gabriel said after he swallowed. "Always liked her."
"Yeah, me too." He said and swiftly changed the topic. For all his wounds, that was the rawest one. "You still being here says a lot, you know. I've never done the job, but between my old man and Wisdom, I've seen up close what it takes. You don't do it for just a paycheck. So I'm going to bet there's something meaningful that makes you clock in."
"Guess so," Gabriel said, his eyes on the TV. VanVleet stepped to the line for a free throw. The next beer arrived in front of Garrison as the ball bounced off the rim. "You ever really think about that? Those guys practice so much, train all the time, it's one of the shots they can practice over and over and over again. And they still only hit, what, like, 3 out of 4? Kind of a shame."
He shook his head and ran a finger around the rim of his glass, still focusing on the TV. "I don't have a higher calling or anything," he said. "But it turns out I'm not bad at this, and it's not a life I thought I'd ever have." Another shrug. "Maybe that's enough, for now."
"I wasn't talking about some kind of grand mission. Just... a purpose, even if it is as simple as 'this needs to be done and I'm good at it'." Kane looked into his glass for a moment, eyes distant. "Or maybe it is just me. My oath is just some words, right? There's no magic to it and yet... you know, I didn't even think twice about staying behind so you guys could get clear. I mean, not for a second. It was the only right decision and I didn't hesitate. Not because I'm some hero or I have a death wish or anything like it. It's just what I believe in made it simple."
"So, it was a decision." Gabriel raised an eyebrow to that. "Not that I really doubted it. I just..." He wasn't sure how to explain his thinking. "Thank you for that," he said after a second. "I don't know if I've said that yet." He meant it too; he couldn't imagine what Olivier would have done to him. There was plenty to work with.
"You didn't need to but I appreciate it. To be honest, I like to think that if the roles were reversed, any of us would have made the same choice." He took a sip and shrugged. "Otherwise, why are we here? You could take your powers and skills to the private sector and make a shit ton more money for far less risk. And I could be... elsewhere." He paused at that, fighting back a pang of misery over Adrienne. "And yet, we stay. That higher calling might be sneaking up on you after all."
