[eXcal holiday] Eight Maids a Milkin'
Jan. 2nd, 2023 08:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xp_darcy posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
xp_logsDarcy's on portal watch for the night with Namor and Matt and gets to see the holiday weirdness of the vending machine close up.
"Hmph."
Namor stood there, skeptical, holding the vending machine's power cable in one hand. The other sat on his hip, considering the appliance.
The appliance that should not be working.
... yet it sat there blinking "p̵̜͆ả̷̤ý̴͉m̶̙̎e̵̫̿ǹ̵̥t̸̩͐ ̴̜͆ṛ̷̓è̴͖q̶̗̿u̷̬͗i̵͖̽ṟ̶̃e̴̮̊d̷̩͝..." in a cycle of at least 6 languages. It didn't help that the three people present had already inserted more than twenty American dollars without receiving anything more than that glitched message.
"I think that answers Clint's questions about some level of sentience," Darcy said on a slow exhale as she watched the message cycle. "Personally, I blame the wormhole. The manual for this thing doesn't indicate an ability to work without being plugged in or to speak in... that's not quite Yiddish, but I recognize enough to get the idea of what it's saying, even if I can't do a direct translation. Doug would know." She tugged her jacket off, then plopped down on it with her legs tucked to the side, and pressed her hands to the edge of the front panel, sending a polite hello query as she did. The fuzz of images she got in return was... overwhelming. Almost nauseating in the way they stretched and shifted in and out of her consciousness.
"Well. The good news is that we can communicate. Kinda. The bad news is that I don't speak its language well yet, and I'm pretty sure it doesn't have Earth origins." She gave the portal a gimlet eye as she pulled her hands away, rubbing her temples in an effort to stave off her budding headache. "I think it's safe enough to plug back in. Nobody's had any weird side effects from the things they've eaten yet, right? And maybe we'll get our snacks once we do."
"You know...I never realized it before, because I'm so used to tuning it out, but it doesn't hum. Vending machines usually have a hum, they're all about the same, but they change based off of the materials around it, the flooring, the size of the space, etc," Matt said. It looked as though he were staring intently at the machine, and he was in his way.
Reaching down, he found the cord with minimal hassle, using his other hand to guide the plug into the wall socket. "Yeah, no hum."
Before Matt could plug it in completely, Namor tightened his grip on the cord Matt had wrangled from him just enough so that there wasn't even a spark. "We could instead give it what it wants. I have the Archer's commerce card."
Still holding the power captive, Namor produced the plastic with a flourish. He didn't bother to wait on if feeding the machine more cash was a good idea or not — a quick flip produced an immediate result. The interface immediately transitioned into what appeared to be a series of scrolling ascii farm animals. No, Namor discerned with a glare, "We have been upgraded to dancing livestock."
This was accompanied with a rumbling. Something, power or no, was happening.
"Darcy?" Matt asked, wanting a little more description than that.
Darcy started scooting away from the vending machine as soon as she heard the rumble, so it was a few seconds before she replied to Matt. "There's scrolling farm animals on the interface now, done in ascii art style." A milk carton shot out of the vending machine and landed at her feet, a cute pink carton covered in strawberries. She examined it closely, recognizing just enough of the Korean to tell what it was. "Oooh yeah, strawberry milk! Thank you!" She scrambled to her feet, giving the vending machine a pat on the side as she backed up, coming to a stop beside Namor and Matt before she cracked it open and took a sip.
Another rumble, another dancing ascii animal.
This time, the products are a series of milk candies and products. The same cartoon strawberries are on the first, matched with a smiling cow dressed like a cowgirl and blowing a kiss. Chewable strawberry. Dragonfruit milkshake lollipops. Chocolate hard candies. Boba milk. Siracha milk bombs. Each accompanied with a slight ping from the machine.
They keep coming. The ascii characters on the machine face have changed into $$$$$.
Namor's expression melts into mild concern as he looks over to Darcy and Matt. "We are not positive this was Our desired outcome."
"Maybe not yours. Or mine. But Darcy seems pretty happy," Matt noted, taking a boba drink and tasting it, before making a face. Too sweet.
"Get Molly down here, she'll love it too," Darcy agreed, poking Matt in the side. "But this is probably a bit excessive. Namor... whose card did you use again? They might need a warning about the vending charges."
"The archer's," came with deadpan annoyance. He had said this.
"Right... maybe let's not test his card limit," Matt suggested. "Because he had to pay it back later," did Namor understand credit cards? How did he get Clint's anyways?
Darcy had completely missed that as her brain focused on scrambling away from the machine. "Apologies for missing you say that, Namor." She pulled her phone out, sending thirty bucks and an apology in the note for "the vending machine being weird at work" to Clint. He'd understand as soon as he checked his account, she was sure. "I think we've got more than enough sweet snacks for portalwatch tonight, yeah?" A last rumble and the machine dropped a loaf of milk bread, which Darcy snagged out of the machine before plugging it back in. "Ooh hey, and now we've got credits for later!"
"Hmph."
Namor stood there, skeptical, holding the vending machine's power cable in one hand. The other sat on his hip, considering the appliance.
The appliance that should not be working.
... yet it sat there blinking "p̵̜͆ả̷̤ý̴͉m̶̙̎e̵̫̿ǹ̵̥t̸̩͐ ̴̜͆ṛ̷̓è̴͖q̶̗̿u̷̬͗i̵͖̽ṟ̶̃e̴̮̊d̷̩͝..." in a cycle of at least 6 languages. It didn't help that the three people present had already inserted more than twenty American dollars without receiving anything more than that glitched message.
"I think that answers Clint's questions about some level of sentience," Darcy said on a slow exhale as she watched the message cycle. "Personally, I blame the wormhole. The manual for this thing doesn't indicate an ability to work without being plugged in or to speak in... that's not quite Yiddish, but I recognize enough to get the idea of what it's saying, even if I can't do a direct translation. Doug would know." She tugged her jacket off, then plopped down on it with her legs tucked to the side, and pressed her hands to the edge of the front panel, sending a polite hello query as she did. The fuzz of images she got in return was... overwhelming. Almost nauseating in the way they stretched and shifted in and out of her consciousness.
"Well. The good news is that we can communicate. Kinda. The bad news is that I don't speak its language well yet, and I'm pretty sure it doesn't have Earth origins." She gave the portal a gimlet eye as she pulled her hands away, rubbing her temples in an effort to stave off her budding headache. "I think it's safe enough to plug back in. Nobody's had any weird side effects from the things they've eaten yet, right? And maybe we'll get our snacks once we do."
"You know...I never realized it before, because I'm so used to tuning it out, but it doesn't hum. Vending machines usually have a hum, they're all about the same, but they change based off of the materials around it, the flooring, the size of the space, etc," Matt said. It looked as though he were staring intently at the machine, and he was in his way.
Reaching down, he found the cord with minimal hassle, using his other hand to guide the plug into the wall socket. "Yeah, no hum."
Before Matt could plug it in completely, Namor tightened his grip on the cord Matt had wrangled from him just enough so that there wasn't even a spark. "We could instead give it what it wants. I have the Archer's commerce card."
Still holding the power captive, Namor produced the plastic with a flourish. He didn't bother to wait on if feeding the machine more cash was a good idea or not — a quick flip produced an immediate result. The interface immediately transitioned into what appeared to be a series of scrolling ascii farm animals. No, Namor discerned with a glare, "We have been upgraded to dancing livestock."
This was accompanied with a rumbling. Something, power or no, was happening.
"Darcy?" Matt asked, wanting a little more description than that.
Darcy started scooting away from the vending machine as soon as she heard the rumble, so it was a few seconds before she replied to Matt. "There's scrolling farm animals on the interface now, done in ascii art style." A milk carton shot out of the vending machine and landed at her feet, a cute pink carton covered in strawberries. She examined it closely, recognizing just enough of the Korean to tell what it was. "Oooh yeah, strawberry milk! Thank you!" She scrambled to her feet, giving the vending machine a pat on the side as she backed up, coming to a stop beside Namor and Matt before she cracked it open and took a sip.
Another rumble, another dancing ascii animal.
This time, the products are a series of milk candies and products. The same cartoon strawberries are on the first, matched with a smiling cow dressed like a cowgirl and blowing a kiss. Chewable strawberry. Dragonfruit milkshake lollipops. Chocolate hard candies. Boba milk. Siracha milk bombs. Each accompanied with a slight ping from the machine.
They keep coming. The ascii characters on the machine face have changed into $$$$$.
Namor's expression melts into mild concern as he looks over to Darcy and Matt. "We are not positive this was Our desired outcome."
"Maybe not yours. Or mine. But Darcy seems pretty happy," Matt noted, taking a boba drink and tasting it, before making a face. Too sweet.
"Get Molly down here, she'll love it too," Darcy agreed, poking Matt in the side. "But this is probably a bit excessive. Namor... whose card did you use again? They might need a warning about the vending charges."
"The archer's," came with deadpan annoyance. He had said this.
"Right... maybe let's not test his card limit," Matt suggested. "Because he had to pay it back later," did Namor understand credit cards? How did he get Clint's anyways?
Darcy had completely missed that as her brain focused on scrambling away from the machine. "Apologies for missing you say that, Namor." She pulled her phone out, sending thirty bucks and an apology in the note for "the vending machine being weird at work" to Clint. He'd understand as soon as he checked his account, she was sure. "I think we've got more than enough sweet snacks for portalwatch tonight, yeah?" A last rumble and the machine dropped a loaf of milk bread, which Darcy snagged out of the machine before plugging it back in. "Ooh hey, and now we've got credits for later!"
