xp_logs | North and Felicia: Happy New Years

North sees some things, and the two discuss boundaries.

Heavily backdated, sorry Wiki/summary folk

The countdown to a new year had not appealed to North since a childhood long past. Which was why, in lieu of drinking copious amounts of alcohol in the company of strangers at a club, the German was happily attempting to drink himself under the table in the comfort of his own apartment. Felicia, of course, had opted to be sociable and he had dutifully complimented her on her very lovely outfit before watching her twirl off into the festivities.

It was unsurprising to him that anyone else that laid eyes on her would also think her outfit was a very lovely one. But still his fingers drummed an unsettled staccato against his thigh as he thumbed through the photos and reels on her Instagram.

A particular story from a few hours ago - Felicia with Alani, her thumb brushing an invisible speck off the corner of her mouth, their faces close, laughing and flushed before they seemed to remember they were live - had him skipping back to replay it over.

Through the light haze of three bottles of wine, North wondered vaguely at the unfamiliar feeling that had bloomed uncomfortably in the vicinity of his chest. The message he sent to her DMs -- mostly without much deliberate thought -- captured the emotion quite well, he thought.

{I'm not sure how I feel about this.}

The message changed to read almost immediately, a short pause before it showed her typing.

[That’s okay]

[What do you need from me tonight?]

North blinked at her reply, took a moment to take another drink and at least attempt to give some consideration to his message this time.

{Will you be home later?}

Hm. He glanced over at the documentary playing on the television. Maybe he should have used the word 'back' instead of 'home'.

Beyond across town, Felicia's nails tapped on the glass of her phone, a staccato of words written then deleted over and over until she hit send.

[I'm in a car now]

[It got late when you weren't looking]

[Wait up?]

{Ok. Do you need food?}

[I'll never say no]

[Don't go overboard I'm only 30 away]

;

There were still traces of celebrations as Felicia exited the elevator, people coming home, or wrapping up for the night, a few glimmers of confetti in the carpet narrowly missed by her heels as she made her way down the hall. It seemed like this year they'd evaded most curses, but she was sure she'd find out something horrible had happened in the morning. Perhaps she'd be the one telling the story, with sad mimosas and therapeutic "you're a dumbass, Felicia" brunch.

With that sobering thought, she gave a light knock on North's door, letting herself in.

The apartment was lit and smelled pleasantly of spiced wine and meat roasting in the oven, but the sounds of its occupant was coming from the direction of the bedroom.

Sure enough, North emerged just moments later, for all appearances freshly showered and sober. He blinked at her, gaze darting to the cuckoo clock on the wall across from him and was momentarily surprised at the speed at which she had returned despite her having given a clear ETA.

"There's still hot water," he offered, the used contraction in his speech a clear indication (to her, at least) that he was still the tiniest bit tipsy.

Felicia nodded, kissing his cheek as she passed. When she returned, her short hair had been pulled back with a claw clip, and she'd grabbed one of his shirts, the sleeves rolled up in thick cuffs and the hem brushing the tops of her thighs. "Wasn't sure if it was a hint, but I'd pinched myself so many times on the rhinestones on that dress anyway," she admitted, finishing buttoning up the front.

"You made too much food again."

"We can have it for breakfast," North shrugged, not in the least bothered by the platter of tacos he had just set on the table. There were alcoholic and non-alcoholic drink options on the table as well, to suit whichever direction their conversation ended in. He pulled her chair out for her, eyes dipping momentarily to the hem of her borrowed shirt. "Or leave it out for the other recovering souls in the morning."

"You're too good," she said, sliding into her seat. Felicia caught his hand as he made to move to his side, looking up at him. "I'm sorry if I hurt you tonight."

"I don't think I'm hurt, per se," he said, voice slightly gruff as he gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. "I realised we had not defined what we are working with here. So those posts made me... uncomfortable."

Felicia watched him settle in, rubbing her fingertips together in nervous energy before picking at a piece of avocado instead and popping it in her mouth. "I genuinely can't remember ever caring about someone for more than a night. It should have occurred to me," she said finally, meeting his gaze. "Because I do care, and for a lot longer than a couple of hours. What do you need from me?"

North studied her for a moment, wanting to ease her anxiousness but not knowing how. "I want to know what you think our relationship means," he said slowly, pouring a glass of water for himself. "Unless I'm getting ahead of myself and we aren't actually... in one?"

"I'm with you," Felicia said without hesitation, teetering on the point between earnest and worried, though the rest of her words came out stilted as if pulled from somewhere deep. "So no, not ahead of yourself. I'm with you, and I don't want another you or whatever we have, but between what we do and who I am, I just. Don't do traditional monogamy. Or haven't done it, I suppose, and I don't know if I could. I'd try if you asked, but I'm pretty sure I'd eventually resent you for it."

Some of the weight in North's stomach eased enough for him to grab a taco from the serving plate.

"I'm not dreaming of white picket fences. I just need to know what to expect. You're dealing with an old man inexperienced in the matters of the heart. Except stopping it. That, I excel at," he said, taking a large bite from the fish taco to stop himself from spouting further inane nonsense. How much wine had he had?

Felicia allowed herself a wry, half smile, nodding when he paused in chewing to look at her. "You're allowed to not just expect things, you know. You're allowed to want things and get them," she said, watching him. "I can't promise to not be myself, to flirt as punctuation, or kiss those I care about, but if there's a line in the sand, if there's something you want and I can, I'll give it to you. Just tell me."

Honestly, the man thought, he had no idea what he wanted, but it did not seem like Felicia was going to hand him an answer on a platter. He gave it a moment's thought, popping the rest of the taco into his mouth to buy some time. "Casual intimacy with friends is fine," he finally said. "But if you -- or I -- want to sleep with someone or contemplate something more serious, then we need to come to an agreement beforehand."

"I can do that," she answered after a just long enough pause. Under the table, her feet trapped one of his ankles, relaxing at the contact. She continued to pick pieces off from her taco, this time pulling a chunk of sour cream covered meat into her mouth to chew on as she idly self soothed herself, her toes running a pattern against his. "It's an entirely fair request, loulou."

"Okay," he said slowly, relief bringing a curl to his lips. "But, loulou?"

"Yep," Felicia said smugly, licking her thumb clean. "You don't get a say in that one, not sorry."

"I suppose I have been called worse things," North said, gaze dipping to her mouth as he relaxed back into his seat, fingers idly smoothing down the stem of his wine glass. "Do you need dessert?"

Felicia slipped out of her chair with a smile, walking backwards in the direction of his bedroom. "Nah. But I think you might."